I let out a giggle. “Slowly, yes. The dorm is okay, but really small. The food sucks, and yes I am always with someone.”
“Do you get to see your brother and Luke often?” she asked as she placed an apple pie in the oven.
Hearing his name caused my heart to feel like it stopped beating. “Not too often. I’m pretty busy with school stuff and so are they.”
My mother nodded her head and walked back over to the island where she began working on the stuffing. “How was the ride home with Luke?”
I snapped my head up and looked at her. “Fine. Why do you ask?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “Don’t know. It just seems like the two of you used to be inseparable and now it’s as if you hardly know each other.”
I dropped my eyes to the ground and then looked back up. I slowly shook my head. “Why are men so damn confusing, Mom?”
She smiled softly, took the potato out of my hand, and led me to the kitchen table where we both sat. She took in a deep breath and blew it out. “Libby, I wish I could answer that for you. Your father still says and does things that have me standing there trying to sort out what in the heck he was saying or thinking.”
I let out a giggle. My parents were amazing. The way my father looked at my mother was as if he couldn’t get enough of her. Will and I had walked in on them more than once where they were just short of getting it on. I loved how they weren’t afraid to show their love for each other. Seeing my father take my mother’s hand in his made me long for that.
I turned away from my mother. “Luke told me he loved me.” My mother sucked in a breath and I quickly looked back. “But he was drunk, Mom. Drunk out of his mind.”
She smiled. “You know, drunks never lie.”
Running my hands down my face, I let out a frustrated moan before dropping my hands onto my lap. “Mom, he pushes me away, then he pulls me right back in.”
Reaching over, my mother gently took my hands in hers as she rubbed her thumbs over my skin. “What do you mean, he pulls you right back in?”
Letting out a long sigh, I closed my eyes briefly and then opened them. “He acts like he doesn’t want to even talk to me sometimes. Then … then …” I threw my hands up in the air. “Then he goes off and pulls me out of his truck and dances with me in the rain. He almost kisses me, and the emotions start going crazy. And then bam, he pulls back! It’s like I can see it in his eyes, Mom, and then his eyes go dark and I see nothing.”
My mother smiled slightly and nodded her head. “You know, your father and I played a similar game. I was so in love with him, but I pushed him away. I pushed him into the arms of another woman.”
My mouth dropped open some. “What?” Her eyes filled with sadness as if she was thinking back to a memory.
“I was scared. I had lost my parents not long before that and I was afraid to open my heart to anyone, Libby. I mean, so afraid. I knew the moment I let your father in, something would pull him away from me.” She shook her head and looked down before looking back up at me. “Do you love him, Libby?”
Tears filled my eyes as I nodded my head. “I love him very much, Mom. So much it hurts.”
“Libby, I hope to God that you’ve saved yourself for the one person who truly deserves that gift.”
I could feel my face growing hotter, but I nodded my head and whispered, “I have.” My mother smiled sweetly and squeezed my hand.
“I made a mistake one night that I will forever regret. I don’t want you to make the same mistake. I wanted more than anything for my first time to be with your father, but sadly it wasn’t.” She looked away and took a moment before turning back to me and talking again. “Don’t be pushed by anger or hurt to do something you will regret. Make sure it’s something you want. I’m going to safely assume you’re wanting your first time to be with Luke?”
I slowly nodded my head and whispered, “Yes.”
My mother looked down and then let out a chortle before glancing back up to me. “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Luke’s father was almost the same exact way. I can still hear Ari and him arguing with each other. Oh how the two of them pushed and pulled at each other. It was unreal.”
I smiled. “Really?”
My mother let out a laugh. “There were times I was sure Ari was going to kill Jeff. A stranger looking in would have thought they hated each other. Jeff did everything he could to push Ari away.”
I rolled my eyes. “Like father, like son.” My mother and I both started chuckling.
She let out a sigh as she said, “I guess so.”
My phone started ringing as I pulled it out of my pocket and saw Luke’s name. I showed it to my mother and she raised an eyebrow as she stood up. “I’d send his little ass to voicemail.”
I laughed and did just that. Putting my phone on silent, I got up and walked to my mother. I picked up the potato and started back to work peeling it. We spent the rest of the afternoon laughing and cooking as we got ready for Thanksgiving.
SLAMMING MY TRUNK, I let out a sigh as I looked at my mother and father. I smiled weakly. “I’m going to miss you both so much.” I felt the tears threatening to build as I bit down hard on my lip. My father walked up to me and pulled me in for one of his bear hugs. I felt so safe in my father’s arms. I was sure no other man would ever make me feel safe like this. I pulled back slightly. “I love you, Daddy.”