“Noah, you have got to stop beating yourself up for wanting to have a somewhat normal life. How do you think I feel? I’m moving to Virginia and leaving both you and Mom. But, I have to go where my heart is. Boo Bear, I know you don’t like leaving Mom’s side, but you need to think of your own life as well.”
Smiling, I shook my head. My little sister had been calling me Boo Bear for as long as I could remember. I had a love-hate relationship with that damn name.
“After you leave, Emily, I’m all she’ll have and I don’t think . . . I’m not sure . . .” My voice cracked as I stopped talking. Reaching into my bag in the back seat, I pulled out my prescription pills and took one for anxiety. The pills calmed me down and took the edge off.
“Noah, listen to me. I know you don’t want to hear this, but our mother is dying. The doctors told us she only has a few months, if that, to live. I see how you’re slowly falling apart. I also saw
how happy you were when you ran into Grace. It was as if a new energy surged through your body. Please, stay there a couple days with Grace. Please.”
Nodding my head, I glanced up and saw Grace walking toward the car with a huge smile on her face. My heart instantly felt light; the pressures of my home life melted away. “All right, Emily. I’ll stay a few days, but you have to promise me you’ll call if anything happens.”
“Of course I will, Noah. I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Hitting End, I smiled as Grace got closer to the car. This girl shattered me the moment she looked into my eyes the first time I made love to her. The endless phone conversations and text messages furthered my feelings for her. My mother always said love was a powerful thing. She believed in love at first sight. I didn’t until Grace’s eyes lit up the first time I ever touched her. When she stopped responding to my phone calls and text messages, it felt as if my world had been turned upside down.
Opening the door, Grace slid in. I felt like a kid in high school taking my high school crush out on our first date.
“Hey! I’m so sorry you had to wait. You didn’t have to, you know,” Grace said as her eyes searched my face. “Noah, what’s wrong?”
Giving her a weak a smile, I asked, “Is there somewhere we can talk?”
I could see the fear in her eyes as she blinked rapidly. Taking her hand in mine, I gently kissed her wrist. I could feel her heartbeat and I needed to calm her down. “I need to tell you about my mother and why I had to leave A&M.”
Relief washed over Grace’s face. “Oh . . . um . . . how about Bee Creek Park? We can walk along the river trail.”
Smiling, I nodded my head. “Perfect.” As we headed off of campus and to the park, I tried like hell to shake off the nerves building up. Grace sat quietly next me as I stroked my thumb over her soft skin. Taking a quick peek at her, I made a vow to myself that I would never let her walk away from me again.
Grace Hope Johnson was mine.
Forever mine.
Grace
The fire igniting across my skin was almost too much to take. Noah’s touch about sent me into a frenzy. It had from the first moment he helped me up after we ran into each other.
Parking, Noah jumped out of the car and ran to my side. Jesus H. Christ, why is my heart pounding so hard? Calm the hell down, Grace.
Holding his hand out for me, I gently placed my hand in his as he helped me out of the car. Pulling my hand up to his lips, he smiled as he placed a gentle kiss against my skin. Fire exploded with the touch and I wanted to beg him to kiss my lips. I wanted to feel him against my body. His hands exploring what clearly belonged to him.
Noah guided me to the trail in silence as he held onto my hand tightly. The fear of him walking into my life only to walk out again was an overwhelming feeling I was trying to keep under control.
After a few minutes, Noah started talking. “My mother found out almost two years ago she had cancer. The news devastated our family. My mother is the rock—the center of all of us. She fought like hell and we thought she had won. The cancer came back last year. My father claimed he couldn’t take watching his wife slowly die and he took off.”
My heart dropped to my stomach, and in that moment I felt Noah’s pain. “What?” I whispered in disbelief. “He left her?”
Slowly shaking his head, Noah said, “He left all three of us. My sister had been planning her wedding in the middle of all of this, and I honestly don’t know how she did it all. Good ole daddy left both of us what I like to call his going away gifts. A car for me and he paid for Em’s honeymoon.”
Placing my hand over my mouth, I tried to imagine my father doing that to my mother and I couldn’t. “Your poor mother,” I said as Noah squeezed my hand.
Stopping, Noah looked out over the river. “When the doctors told us she only had four to six months to live, I lost it.”
Placing my hand on his arm, I asked, “What do you mean?”
Swallowing hard, Noah closed his eyes. “I went out and got drunk. For days I drank myself numb and popped anxiety pills. Anything to make me forget. My poor mother and sister had no idea where I was. It was like I was losing everything . . . you . . . my father . . . my mother. My sister was getting married and moving across the country. My world fell apart. Then I realized my sister and mother needed me. I pulled myself out the slump and got my shit together.”
Guilt immediately swarmed my body as I let Noah’s words sink in. “Noah, I didn’t know, and looking back I realize how stupid I acted by pushing you away. I was falling so in love with you and that scared me. I’ve been hurt before and when I saw you with your sister, I let my imagination get the better of me.”