Jefferson is my older brother by three years. He has been the only person in my life to be there for me. He was going to the University of Texas and studying Architectural Engineering. He worked his ass off in school to get perfect grades and of course he kicked ass on the football field as well. He received a scholarship to play football at the University of Texas. He could have gone anywhere, but he stayed in Austin to help take care of my mother and me.
He would not leave me all alone to deal
with her. He is all I have in this world.
My father left when I was three. He came back to see us only once after he left. It was right after Jefferson got his scholarship to UT. He showed up on our door step acting like a proud father. I thought Jefferson was going to beat the shit out of him. He only stayed long enough to give Jefferson and me part of an inheritance from a grandmother neither of us remembered. He also caused our mother to go into another drunken fest and lose another job.
Jefferson made me put the money away for college and he bought his truck and paid off what was owed on our mother’s house. My mother is nothing but a drunk who half the time does not even know she has two kids. I’m nothing but a reminder of the man who left her alone and unwanted. She would tell me how much I looked like him when I was younger. Her hatred for him drives her to drink away her problems, or at least she attempts to drink them away.
Jefferson is another reminder of our father but my mother pretty much just ignores him more than she does me. As long as he puts money in her account each month for her alcohol she is happy. Jefferson has worked since he was fourteen to help keep food on our table. I stopped counting how many jobs my mother has had in the last ten years. Sometimes she would be gone for days at a time which was fine by us. How Jefferson managed to work, study and get to football practice all the while taking care of his baby sister I will never know.
I love my brother so much for all that he does, even for our mom. Jefferson is the only person in my life who has been there for me.
I only needed two people in my life……. . Jefferson and Ryan……. Well shit……at least up until thirty minutes ago I thought the only two people I needed in my life were Jefferson and Ryan. Ryan has been my boyfriend for the last eight months; pretty much all of my senior year has been spent with him……. . what a fucking waste.
I guess I should say he was my boyfriend. That fucker! My body started to shake again as the image came back into my mind. I felt the tears threaten to come again. No! I was not going to cry over him anymore.
I had gotten a text message from Ryan asking me to meet him in the auditorium during sixth period. I was an office monitor and it was not uncommon for me to meet him during sixth period before he left campus for the day. I could have sworn he told me he was leaving right after fifth.
Today something was different and I knew it the moment I walked through the door of the auditorium. I heard moans coming from behind the stage. I slowly walked up and found Ryan behind the stage having sex with Jessica Harris. I thought I was going to throw up. I stood there like an idiot watching them for probably a good minute before my brain started to work again.
I finally was able to turn myself away from one of the worst moments in my life only to walk into a prop for the stupid Wizard of Oz play the drama class was putting on tonight. It made a loud crash as it hit the floor and I turned just in time to see Ryan look up at me with a stunned look on his face and to see Jessica give me the most evil smile I had ever seen. I mean really…that bitch could throw daggers at her mother while singing a Disney song. At that moment I knew this was all her doing, she set it up for me to be here and see this.
I turned and jumped over the prop to run out the door. All I knew was that I could hardly breathe and I really needed to get out of there and fast. I heard the bastard calling out for me.
“Let me explain! Ellie! PLEASE let me explain!” he kept yelling out. Really…how could he possible explain why he was having sex with the one girl in school who hated my guts?
Ever since Ryan asked me to the fall dance Jessica has made it her mission in life to hate me and take Ryan away. With her perfect blonde hair, blue eyes and daddy’s money, she wanted for nothing and got almost everything she wanted. I guess she accomplished her mission of take Ryan from me.
After I spent the last twenty minutes in the girl’s bathroom ugly crying with my best friend Arianna standing outside the bathroom stall begging me to tell her what was wrong, I was ready to go beat the shit out of Jessica Fucking Harris.
I was finally able to somewhat speak to Ari once the sobs settled a bit.
“Ohhh, my gawd, Ari that fucker…. that no good for nothing”…. . and there it was…another round of endless sobs.
“Please Ellie, you are really scaring me. Please tell me who and what the hell you are talking about before I scale this fucking door and beat it out of you. ” Ari screamed over my loud cries.
“It’s …. it’s Ryan. I saw him having sex with…. with…. Je…Jess…Jessi…. ”
I can’t breathe……OH MY GOD! Why?
“I just saw Ryan fucking Jessica Harris behind the stage!” I screamed out with such a force even I was waiting for someone to come in and see what the hell was going on in the girl’s bathroom down in C hall.
For a few minutes I thought Ari had left me in my misery alone. I was alone, sitting in the girl’s bathroom crying over some jerk, crying all alone.
I would always end up alone.
How stupid was I to think that Ryan would wait to be with me until I was ready. I just never felt like Ryan was ‘the one’ I was saving myself for. We had barley even kissed and he never tried to go further. My mother told me the first and last time she met Ryan that I was only arm candy for him.
I am always going to be alone. I shook my head…. that is not true…. . I had Jefferson. I would always have Jefferson.
“Holy hells bells…. . Jesus, Mary and Joseph… that dirty rotten son of a bitch cock sucking mother fucker! I am going to cut his balls off and…”
God I loved this girl. Arianna had been my best friend since we were ten. She was beautiful, funny and smart as hell. She was graduating as Valedictorian of our class. She was the same height as me, 5’5 and we both weighed around 120. It made it nice since I loved to borrow her clothes.
She had beautiful medium brown hair that fell just below her shoulders. She had hauntingly beautiful green eyes. Her only downfall…. she didn’t know when to stop talking. The girl could rattle on all day if you let her.
“Ari please, if anyone is going to cut his balls off it sure as shit is going to be me not you. But thank you for the love. ” I said as I walked out of the stall more composed than I really should have been.