“Do you know the first time Brad brought you home, I couldn’t believe it? I was looking at a mini me. ”
Huh? Well okay, I wasn’t expecting that. I’m sure the look on my face must have been one of shock, because Carol laughed.
“I know what you’re thinking. A mini you? Hell no. But you were, or rather, you are. I could see the spit and fire in your personality and see the passion for life in your eyes. I knew Brad must have really taken to you for him to bring you home. He never brought girls home. ”
I wanted nothing more than to say, Gee…wonder why?
She reached for her wine and took a sip. She seemed to want what she just said to sink in. “I’m not going to lie to you, Amanda. I hated you the moment I saw you. ”
And here we go…
“But I also fell madly in love with you. ”
“Huh?” I said out loud, not meaning to.
She let out a chuckle and continued on. “Yep. I could see the love between you and Brad and each time I saw the two of you together, I saw it grow. I think a part of me was insanely jealous. Brad was my only child. He was my baby boy. No one was ever going to take him away from me. I decided early on that I was going to make it miserable for you. I wanted you to end up leaving. ”
She slowly shook her head and gave me a sad smile. “But you were stronger than that. Your love for my son, I should say, was stronger. I didn’t realize at the time when I was trying to drive you away, that I was driving Brad away…from everyone. ”
I sucked in a breath of air.
She closed her eyes for a good thirty seconds before she opened them again. “When I saw you standing there holding Maegan, and she was the spitting image of Brad, something just clicked. All the pain that I caused both you and Brad came flooding all at once. I thought I could just pretend it was you who was the problem, but in the end I needed to realize that it was me who had been the problem. ”
She stopped and waited. I wasn’t sure what she expected me to say. Yeah, Carol you were the problem…can I have the baby pictures?
“I’m not really sure what to say right now, Carol,” I said as my voice cracked.
She sat up just a little straighter as the waitress walked up and asked what I would like to drink.
“Water, please,” I said.
She asked if we were ready to order. Carol asked her for a few more minutes.
“I just wanted to get this all out, and if you decide to leave after, I completely understand. ”
I slowly nodded my head.
She took a deep breath and quickly let it out. “I don’t expect you and Brad to just open up your hearts and let me in. I know I have to earn that back and I’m very prepared to do so. I’d like more than anything to get to really know you, Amanda. I’d like more than anything to have my son back in my life again and get to know my grandchildren. ”
My heart started beating a mile a minute.
“I’d like to ask you for your forgiveness. I know I don’t deserve it and I know I’ve never done anything to make you want me in your life, but I’d love to try and get there. ”
I looked around and prayed that the waitress would get there with my water. My mouth was so dry and I needed a drink before I could talk.
Right on cue she walked up and handed me the water. I took a long drink and set it down before looking back up at Carol.
I gave her a smile and said, “Well…you can start by showing me Brad’s baby pictures. ”
The smile that spread across her face caused me to let out a small laugh. When she leaned over and picked up a giant shoebox, I really started laughing.
“I went through all the albums and pulled them out. I wasn’t sure if you do that whole scanning thing or what but I sure had fun going through these. ”
We both let out a laugh as the waitress walked back over. I let Carol order while I quickly looked at the menu.
The waitress looked at me next. “Oh um…I’ll have the mesquite-grilled pork chops.
“Good choice,” she said with a smile.