The thought was far worse than the pain in her lower abdomen and she forced her mind to deal with the present, not the probable future.
Maybe a long, hot soak coupled with a couple of over the counter pain meds would suffice and she wouldn’t be forced to take one of the pain-killing bombs the doctor had prescribed.
They always left her feeling so loopy and she hated it. There were days she couldn’t even remember what she’d done because she’d spent so much of her time in a fog. The shock was that Claudio had never noticed. If she needed proof that she was nothing more to him than a convenience, that was it.
How could a man, even a man as oblivious to the normal issues of life as Claudio, not notice his wife had the behavior pattern of a drug addict? But he never said anything when she was zoned out on pain meds. To give him credit, she did her best to hide her condition from him…in every way. But there was a big part of her that resented the fact it was so easy.
If he cared at all, it wouldn’t be. She was sure of it.
Her heart heavy, she started a bath. No woman should have to live with the constant knowledge that she loved where there was no reciprocating emotion to be had. It hurt too much.
Once the bath was full, she dimmed the lights in the en suite and poured soothing aromatherapy oil into the steaming water. Then, while the whirlpool jets mixed the water, sending forth a soft fragrance, she took her pain meds. She shed her robe, letting the silk fall to the floor and not caring that she should have hung it up. Refusing to even think about how the responsible Therese would have taken care of it so someone else would not have to, the in-pain-and-tired-of-hiding-it Therese slid into bathtub.
She’d been soaking for thirty minutes when she heard sounds in the bedroom. She’d let her mind float, so it only registered on the periphery of her consciousnesses what those sounds meant.
“If you’ve fallen asleep in there, I’m going to be more than mildly annoyed with you.”
Her eyes slid open and the impact of his presence slammed into her like it always did. No man should be this beautiful. “Not sleeping. No need to be irritated.”
“You certainly looked asleep,” he said accusingly, but his dark eyes were eating her up in a way that said bathtub safety was not the only thing on his mind.
His obvious interest found an answering hunger in her body. The effectiveness of the hot bath and painkillers meant she could act on it if she wanted to and she did. Once she told him the truth and he accepted there was only one practical solution for their future, she would have to live the rest of her life without feeling the things his touch invoked.
“I don’t suppose you would consider being my bathtub buddy?” she asked, giving his magnificent body a once-over. “Purely for safety’s sake, you understand.”
His eyes narrowed. “Is that an invitation?”
“What do you think?”
“I think I don’t understand why you forced me to sit through an hour of fishing stories if you were feeling like this.” He made a sound that was suspiciously like a growl of frustration, while his lower body reacted in a basic and obvious way to her suggestion.
She hid her smile of satisfaction at the evidence that if nothing else, the man wanted her. Then she looked up at him from between her lashes. “Are you saying you’re not interested?” she asked in a tone that said she didn’t believe it. “Your body says otherwise.”
“Maybe my body isn’t the one in control here.”
She arched her back, relief coursing through her when the shift in her pelvis the movement caused didn’t so much as result in a tiny twinge of discomfort. “Maybe it should be.”
“Damn it, Therese, what is going on?”
He never swore in front of her. It shocked her so much that she relaxed back into the water. What if he didn’t want her? A man might not be able to control the physical responses of his body, but he didn’t have to give in to them. Not if his mind was turned off in spite of his body’s cravings.
He was upset with her for turning him down earlier. She should have realized he would be, but normally he acted as if her diminished desire didn’t impact him at all. After all, he was a busy man. He had about as much time for sex as he did for meaningful conversations with her, which meant he had almost no time at all.
Saying nothing because she was afraid she’d beg if she did, she stood to get out of the tub.
“What are you doing?” he asked in a low growl.
“What does it look like? I’m getting out.” He could turn her down, but he didn’t need to rub her nose in it.
He made a sound that sent a shiver down her spine. “Stay where you are, you provoking little witch.”