What is Garrett going to do? How can I help him?
When we got around the house, Garrett dropped my hand and started yelling out, “No! Son of a bitch, no!”
I jumped and attempted hold back my sobs.
Over and over again, he just kept yelling out, “No!”
Billy walked up to him, and Garrett started pushing him away.
“Billy, no! My God, he was my world. Who’s gonna run the ranch and take care of my mother while I’m at college?”
I swallowed as the realization hit me. By the look on his face, it must have hit Garrett as well, but he didn’t say a word.
“Garrett, I’ll help you. Raymond and Wayne will help, too. We’re all going to help,” Billy said.
Garrett put his hands on his knees and began crying. He tried to take in air at the same time. Billy looked at me with pleading eyes. I nodded as I walked over and placed my hand on Garrett’s back. He jumped and stood up straight. The moment he looked into my eyes, he cried harder. He reached for me and pulled me into his arms.
He whispered, “I’m so sorry, Emma. I wanted to give you the world. I’m so sorry.”
My heart slammed in my chest, and I knew exactly what he’d meant. Our future.
He had been thinking of our future. I didn’t think it was possible that my heart could hurt even more. I’d wasted all those months, hiding and denying my feelings.
I held on to him harder. “Shh…I’m here for you. Garrett, I’m here for you.”
Garrett sucked in a deep breath and stepped back from me. He looked at Billy and then at me. The tears running down his face gutted me, and when I looked at Billy, I knew he felt the same way. Turning back to Garrett, I went to say something, but he shook his head and turned back toward the house.
He quickly wiped away his tears and stopped. He turned around and looked at us. “Nothing will ever be the same.”
I shook my head and reached out for him, but he took a step back.
He whispered, “Nothing.”
I walked up the porch stairs and stopped at the door. I could hear my mother crying inside, and I wanted to turn around and throw up. I took a deep breath and opened the door. Dr. Birk was standing there, talking to my uncle, Wayne, and Raymond. I wanted nothing more than to just run as far away from here as I could. I knew Billy and Emma were right behind me, and the last thing I wanted to do was see Emma. If I saw her, I would just be reminded that the future I wanted with her was now gone.
Dr. Birk looked up and gave me a sympathetic smile.
I better get used to those.
I walked into the front parlor, and the moment I saw my mother sitting on the sofa, crying, I knew what I had to do. I straightened up my shoulders, pushed all my feelings deep down, and walked up to her. Mrs. Birk glanced up at me with tears rolling down her face. She stood up, so I could sit down next to my mother. I sat down and took her into my arms, and she began crying harder.
“Garrett…oh God! Garrett, I can’t live without him. What are we going to do? Thomas, no…please come back to me.”
My gut tightened up, and I had to take a few deep breaths to calm myself. I held her closer as I began talking to her, “Mama, it’s going to be fine. I promise, I won’t let you or Dad down. I’ll take care of you and the ranch.”
My mother pulled back and looked at me. “Garrett, he left us. He left us…”
She broke down crying again, and I pulled her back to me and began rocking her. I glanced up and saw Billy’s father, David, standing there. He was white as a ghost, and I knew this had to be hard on him. He and my father were best friends, and David had lost his wife a few years ago.
I closed my eyes and tried to make sense of everything that was happening. Just a little bit ago, I had been about to kiss the girl of my dreams and tell her how much I cared about her, and the next moment, my whole world had been torn apart.
Why, Dad? Why did you leave us? Why?
I had been going over everything that had happened the last four weeks in my head, still trying to make sense of it all.
“Garrett? Son, are you listening to me?” David said.
I was pulled out of my daydream. I cleared my throat and nodded my head. “Yes, sir. I’m sorry. My mind was wandering.”