I reached for it and took the hook from her. “Because you’re not keeping the same tension throughout. If it is too loose, you’ll get the holes, and if it is too tight, you’ll have a hard time attaching the next row. Here, look…this is how you do the double crochet.” And I began crocheting.
I looked over at Courtney, and she was sitting there with her mouth hanging open, staring down at what I was doing.
Her eyes moved up and looked into mine. “How…wait. Wait just a damn second here. You know how to crochet?”
I nodded my head and said, “Are you watching?”
She let out a laugh and quickly covered her mouth. “You know, if I had known this a year ago, I would have totally called you a tree-loving, cultivating-plant pussy, crocheting cocksucker!”
I dropped my hands and looked at her. “What?”
She shrugged her shoulders and said, “Cocksucker was the only thing I could quickly think of that started with a C.”
If I didn’t love her so much, I would be so pissed at her. “Here, if you don’t want my help…”
I handed everything back to her, and her smile dropped.
“Wait! Show me again.”
I rolled my eyes, took everything back, and showed her again.
“May I ask you something?” she said.
“Not if you are going to make jokes about it.”
“I promise, I won’t,” she said as she attempted to hold back a giggle. “Um…where did you learn to crochet?”
“And knit. I know how to knit, too,” I said as I whipped out two rows on the blanket.
Courtney busted out laughing, and I turned and glared at her.
She used both hands to cover her mouth. “Sorry! Okay, I’m sorry. I won’t laugh.”
“My grandmother taught me, Paul, and Wesley all how to crochet, knit, and…” I lowered my voice and said, “Darn.”
Courtney leaned in closer to me and said, “I’m sorry. What did you say? I couldn’t hear you.”
I looked away and then back at her quickly. “Darning.”
“What in the hell is darning?” Courtney asked.
I let out a long sigh and said, “It’s a sewing technique for, um…well, for repairing holes and worn-out areas on fabric and stuff.” I shrugged and returned the crochet hook and yarn to her.
She began chewing on her lower lip, and I was regretting even telling her.
She held up her hands and said, “I’m trying. Really, I am, but…Oh. My. God. That is too funny!”
I picked my Kindle back up and turned it on while Courtney sat next to me, having a laughing fit. When she finally settled down and tried to start crocheting again, she busted out into another laughing fit. I ended up turning off the Kindle again and closing my eyes. It didn’t take long before I ended up falling asleep to the sounds of my wife giggling next to me.
I jerked my eyes open when I felt something moving on my leg. I lifted my head and looked around. Courtney was looking out the window, and her nails were now digging into my leg.
Ouch! Son of a bitch. We must be landing. “Court, angel, you’re going to put holes in my leg.”
She snapped her head around and looked at me with a scared expression on her face. “We’re landing.”
Courtney loved flying, but she hated the takeoff and landing parts of it. I grabbed her hand and began kissing it, and then I ran my fingers up and down her arm.
Once we were on the ground and getting off the plane, Courtney took my hand and said, “I have to tell you, I’m super turned-on right now.”