With a grin, Adaline said, “Sure, I’d love to see it.”
My stomach felt like I was on a roller coaster. All I really wanted to do was tell her how much I’d missed her. I reached for her hand as I stood. When she placed it gently in mine, we both looked into each other’s eyes. I was almost positive she felt it too.
The love was still there.
As I guided her back toward the bedroom, I focused on my breathing. Stepping into the room, Lola jumped up and wagged her tail as Adaline started giggling. “I guess she thinks time out is over.”
I nodded my head and laughed. “She’s a good girl.”
Adaline sat down on the bed and began petting Lola. “How does she do on the long drives?”
With a shrug, I said, “Good. She doesn’t really know any different. She loves when we head back to North Carolina, though. I bought a new place with lots of room for her to run.”
Adaline glanced up at me. “That’s wonderful. I bet she loves it.”
Leaning against the closet door, I smiled and said, “Yeah. She does. She is the only constant in my life. I guess you could say she keeps me grounded.”
Adaline’s eyes turned sad as she looked back at Lola. “Have you, um, dated very much?”
I could either skirt around it, or just be honest. I decided to go with the later.
“No. I’ve fucked around a lot, though.” Adaline’s head snapped up as she looked at me as her mouth fell open. I could tell she was surprised by my honesty. “I’m not going to lie and sugar coat the last three years of my life, Adaline. My heart broke in two when things between us ended. The only thing I knew to do to try and forget you was drink and fuck woman.”
Adaline stood up quickly and headed back out toward the living room. “Like last night, Emmit. Did you fuck, Cookie?”
I let out a fake laugh as I shook my head. She was actually pissed off. Well fuck this shit. Who in the hell was she to get pissed at me? She turned me down.
“I almost did. Something about the woman you loved more than life itself showing up and acting like she has survived just fine since she ripped your heart out, well hell, it kind of fucked me up all over again.”
Adaline’s eyes turned dark as she placed her hands on her hips and narrowed her left eye at me. “Survived just fine? Really, that’s what you think, Emmit? That I survived just fine?”
With a smirk, I said, “Well you sure didn’t try and make things work, Adaline. You walked away like what we had meant nothing to you.” Not sure if it was anger or hurt that moved across her face, but whatever it was, it caused tears to build in her eyes. Turning her back toward me, she spun back around and walked up to me as she poked me in the chest.
“I was confused, Emmit. I wanted the life I had dreamed of too. I couldn’t have that life while you followed your dreams. I didn’t want to make you think you had to give up your dream for me to follow mine! If we had stayed together, I knew you would start feeling guilty and you would have come after me, Emmit.”
I took in a calming breath as I looked into her eyes before I started talking. “We could have made it work, you weren’t willing to try, Adaline.”
A single tear fell from Adaline’s eye as her shoulders sagged and she let out a defeated breath. “You’re so wrong, Emmit. I walked away from us because I loved you that much. Do you remember when I went to camp the summer of our senior year? I was gone for two months. You couldn’t stand the time apart, and you gave up two months of racing and came to camp. Do you remember that?”
“That was a few fucking dirt track races, Adaline. This is NASCAR. My dream. I would have figured out a way to see you and keep doing what I loved doing. Don’t blame this on me; you’re the one who doesn’t want this life.”
“I didn’t say that, Emmit!” Adaline screamed out. “I said I wanted time to follow my dreams. Traveling ten months out of the year, I would have never been able to go to college and get my degree. I did what I thought was right. It seems to me though you weren’t that heartbroken
if you started bringing whores to your bed every night.”
With a toss of my head back, I laughed. “Oh please. Like you didn’t ever date or fuck other guys, Adaline. I’m not stupid.”
Placing her hand over her stomach, Adaline took a step back as she pressed her lips tightly together. Grabbing her stuff, she headed for the door. She turned and looked at me. “I dated a few guys, but none of them were you. I haven’t been with anyone since the last night we spent together. I couldn’t because I was still in love with you. I guess I’m the fool in this situation.” Closing her eyes, she let out a quick laugh. When she opened her eyes, she glared at me. “That is one situation I intend on fixing right away.”
All the air left my lungs as I grabbed onto the counter top to keep from falling over. I slammed my hand over my face and dragged it down. What in the hell? Adaline hadn’t been with another guy. Holy fuck did I mess up. I quickly made my way after her.
I stepped out between the buses and glanced both ways. My heart stopped the moment I saw Adaline talking to Malcolm. He looked over her shoulder directly at me as he smirked.
Malcolm looked back at Adaline and nodded as he put his arm around her and led her back to his bus.
I was frozen in place. Opening the door to his bus, Adaline walked into it while Malcolm turned and gave me a smile that would forever be etched in my memory.
The door to his bus shut as I stood there like an idiot and watched the door for Adaline to come back out. I felt numb as I walked back to my bus before I stopped walking.