“You asked for something stronger.”
When Butch walked away, Blake turned and faced me. He lowered his voice and spoke. His hot breath hit the side of my face, causing me to still. I didn’t even dare breathe. His soft brown eyes held me captive.
“Nash is my best friend. Do you know what he would do if he found out we fucked?”
“Nice.”
“What? That’s what you wanted from me, Morgan. A night of mindless fucking. No strings attached. That is what one-night stands are, are they not? There is no lovemaking, no whispered sweet nothings. It’s just fucking.”
I swallowed hard. I wanted to argue with him. Tell him he had a crude mouth, but I couldn’t. He was right. That was exactly what I had asked him for, and it was clear that was what was bothering him. The idea of me only wanting him for one night.
“I think you’re just afraid,” I said.
“Me? You’re one to talk. Seems I’m not the only person hanging out in a bar drowning my emotions. You make a living helping other people with their issues, and from what I’ve heard, you’re damn good at it. You know one night of sex won’t change anything. It won’t make you forget whatever it is you’re trying to forget.”
“I know that!” I spat out. My eyes darted to the end of the bar. Butch was lost in conversation with another patron. Refocusing on Blake, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before I spoke again.
“I’m not here because of Mike. I’m not trying to fuck him out of my mind. I might have been doing that with Rich, but I’m here because I . . . I . . .”
My mouth snapped shut. How did I tell him I was there because I felt worthless? Like no man would ever love me or look at me like the way Nash looked at Kaelynn, or Tucker looked Charlie. The way Jim practically melted on the spot when he looked at Terri. But even Mike had made me feel like I was never enough. How did I make Blake understand that the one time I put myself out there with a man, one I truly was attracted to, he turned me down?
“Because why?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It matters, Morgan.”
I pulled out a twenty and laid it on the bar. “I’ll leave you be so you can enjoy your time alone.”
Blake reached for my wrist, causing me to stop. “Morgan, tell me why you’re here. Please.”
Tears burned my eyes. “Why do you care, Blake?”
“Because you’re—”
“Nash’s sister. We’ve established that.” I jerked my arm to free it. “Let me go.”
“No. I care about you, Morgan. Now fucking tell me why you’re here.”
My gaze darted to Butch again. He wasn’t paying any attention to us. He probably thought I was okay, since it was Blake.
“You want to know why I’m here? Fine, Blake, let’s get it all out on the table. I’m here in this bar because I foolishly opened myself up to a man I was attracted to, only to have him reject me. I stupidly offered him a piece of myself in exchange for one simple night of pleasure. One night where I could stop thinking about everything wrong in my life. Stop remembering. Stop blaming myself. A night where it felt like someone wanted me, even if it was just for sex.”
Blake opened his mouth, then shut it.
A tear slipped free, and I quickly wiped it away. “A night where I could feel like I was doing something crazy and fun. I wanted to feel . . . adored. Wanted. Needed.”
“Morgan,” Blake whispered as he tried to place his hand on my face.
Holding up my hands, I shook my head. “I get it. I’m not your type, Nash is your best friend, and all the other reasons you pushed me aside.”
“What?”
“Enjoy your evening, Blake.”
Stepping away from him, I looked at Butch and plastered on a fake smile. “I’m heading out, Butch. See you around.”
Although his face showed concern, Butch lifted his hand and let a small smile pull at his mouth. “You call me if you need anything.”