My breath caught at his words. Our first date had started with Brandt texting me for a coffee date. He’d always been very forthcoming with his feelings. He’d made me feel precious and desired.
“Coffee sometime would be nice. I can’t promise anything. I’ll need to take this one day at a time.”
He stood. “I just need a chance. That’s all I’m asking for. As long as you feel anything for me, I can work with that.”
Loving Brandt was never the issue. My heart still beat for Brandt, and denying it would do both of us an injustice. We deserved to figure this out on our terms, rather than being at the mercy of drugs. I wrote my number on a piece of paper and slid it across the counter. Brandt took it and smiled before putting it in his pocket. He walked to my side, and I could smell his cologne. It was cologne I’d gotten him when we started dating. The scent was a perfect balance between bold and understated with an earthy fragrance. He kept a safe distance, and I was glad. I wasn’t ready for anything more than coffee, but the familiar feeling was hard to keep at a distance. Brandt’s pull became stronger.
The timer went off for the cornbread, breaking the connection between us. I removed the cornbread, placing it on a trivet on the counter. When I turned, Brandt pierced me with his blue eyes and a huge megawatt smile.
“Thanks for giving me a chance I don’t deserve, Nikola. I’m going to make you mine again, even if it takes me the rest of my life to prove to you that I’m worthy. I never stopped loving you, even when I was messed up. The only reason I didn’t come after you when I got out of rehab was that I was too scared I’d fuck up your life even more.”
I didn’t know what to say. My skin tingled at his words. In the time Brandt had been here, my body felt more alive than it had since I’d last been in his arms.
Looking at the floor, I responded, “I’ve thought about you, too. About what we had.”
I still loved Brandt. At the end of the day, though, love wasn’t always what mattered.
MY MIND FORCED my body to remain planted after hearing Nikola agree to go to coffee with me. She’d thought about me, too. That was a good fucking thing. I wanted to take her in my arms and sink so deep inside her that she’d never forget what it felt like to be connected. Nikola seemed confused, like she wanted to come to me, but held herself back. The familiar spark of love was there, but I’d have to bide my time and earn her trust.
“I’ll see myself out, Nikola. Happy New Year.”
“Happy New Year, Brandt.”
I was heading for the door when Anne came up the stairs. “Can you stay for lunch?” Her Georgia hospitality was like none other.
I shook my head. “I don’t want to push my luck. I got a coffee date.”
Anne gave me a sweet wink. “Don’t be a stranger. Thanks for stopping by.”
“I promise. Happy New Year.”
“Happy New Year, Brandt.”
I gave Anne a quick wave before I hurried out to my SUV, jumping into the car and cranking the heat up. I pulled out of the driveway and headed east, back toward my place. At a four-way stop, I parked in a deserted parking lot of a gas station and pulled out my phone.
Me: Are you free for coffee tomorrow?
A couple of minutes passed before I received a response.
Nikola: You didn’t wait long. Reminds me of that first date we had.
Me: I have this girl’s heart to win back. Not much time to waste.
Nikola: Do I know her? I hope I do. She sounds like a lucky girl.
I smiled. She made me work for it.
Me: I’d say the chances are pretty good.
Nikola: Hmm…maybe I should consult my Magic 8 Ball.
Me: That damn thing has to be on my side this time. I can feel it.
Nikola: Hold please. I’m asking the wisest of all balls.
Every damn time I asked the Magic 8 Ball, it gave me some fucked-up answer that worked against me. I hated that thing, and Nikola loved using it on me. We’d had some pretty spectacular bouts of fucking thanks to that thing. Sometimes, though, it seemed to give me a bad case of blue balls. I’d give anything to have Nikola back. It had all started when we saw the Magic 8 Ball in a store. We’d been debating where to go on vacation—the beach or the mountains. I’d agreed to go with whatever the Magic 8 Ball said. It voted for the mountains, Nikola’s choice. From then on, that ball had been a pain in my ass.
Nikola: Looks like you’re in luck. You got a “Yes.”
Me: Finally! That damn thing gave me a break! Are you free tomorrow?
Nikola: Should I consult the 8 Ball again?
Me: No, let’s not push my luck today.
I pictured her laughing in the kitchen.
Nikola: Yes, I’m free. Does nine a.m. work? Or is that too early? Where do you want to meet?
Smiling that she’d picked the same time as our first date, I typed a response.
Me: Nine works. How about we meet at our coffee place?
Nikola: I’d love that.
Before I could respond, another text came through.
Nikola: I’m scared, Brandt.
Seeing those words on my phone was a knife in the gut. I never wanted Nikola to be scared, though she had every right to be. I hoped our old coffee shop would help. Kennedy’s was where I’d met up with Nikola after I got her number at the concert.
Me: I understand. I’ll give you all the time you need, and I’ll try to never push you. I’m not giving up on us.
Nikola: Thank you for coming for me.
Me: I always will. I’ll be there tomorrow at nine.
Nikola: See you tomorrow.
Tomorrow. We had a chance to get to know each other again. I was still thinking about that moment when she’d looked at her phone and seemed worried. Hopefully, it was only a matter of time before what bothered her was considered my business again.
I texted an update to my sponsor.
Me: Nikola agreed to meet me for coffee. Thanks again for everything.
Quentin: That was fast! I’m happy for you. Stay grounded and true to yourself. What is meant to be will be. If you need me, I’m here.
Me: I know. Thanks.
I put my phone away and drove toward my house. I needed another shower and to change into slacks and a dress shirt before going to my mum’s. For now, I wasn’t going to say anything to her. She loved Nikola, and I think it devastated Mum when I’d lost her. Mum thought we had the same love as she had.
My dad died when I was ten. He was British. My mum was American. We always laughed when he called her “Mum” and it stuck. My accent was extremely faint to the point of being nonexistent, but it was comforting to hear myself sometimes sounding like my dad. We boys had been my dad’s world, and it had been heartbreaking when an officer came to our house to tell us he’d been killed in Iraq. The loss of my dad was still acute, nearly twenty years later.
Coffee was a huge step for Nikola and me. It had been just as big of a step the first time she’d agreed to meet me at Kennedy’s. An involuntary smile spread across my face as I thought about the night I first saw the woman who would change everything for me.
The concert had just ended. I was with Adam and my brother, Logan. The air smelled of beer and sweat, and the heat of the day lingered in the humid night. We were out celebrating the success of the club. The crowd was like a herd of elephants, all trying to make it to the parking lot. It was a beautiful summer night, and stars shone brightly in the clear sky. We were approaching a chain-link fence.
I nodded to the guys. “Why don’t we stand over here while the crowd clears out? No need to wait in our car, all cramped up.”
“Sounds good,” Logan replied. We leaned against the fence. He was a younger version of me with short hair and no tats.
I ran my fingers through my hair to get it out of my face.
Adam was looking at e-mails on his phone. “Our new security system should be installed in two days. I want the club side locked up tight. No fuckups.”
“Same her
e. We’ll get it figured out.”
Adam was a rule follower. He wanted everything followed to a T. He’d started speaking again when an auburn-haired goddess in a short, frayed skirt walked by. She had on cowboy boots and a tight-fitting tank. I normally didn’t go for the cowgirl type, but I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. I pushed off the fence and looked to Adam and Logan. “I’ll be right back.”
“We’ll leave your ass,” my brother called after me.
I flipped him the bird and heard them laughing.
I jogged up to the girl—she was now standing with two friends. “Hey, there.”
She looked over and smirked. “Well, hey there.”
This mystery woman started walking. Normally, girls flirted with me, and it was easy to start a conversation. Whoever she was, she’d piqued my interest.
“Enjoy the concert?”