My stomach rumbled. “I can’t wait.”
Bane moved around the kitchen with ease. Grabbing the bread, mayo, butter, cheese, and a skillet he got to work. “When I was a boy I loved grilled cheese. They were easy to make.”
“Did your mom or dad teach you?”
Bane grimaced. “I never knew my father. My mother could hardly be considered one.”
My heart hurt for Bane. So much pain in his life. Was this his way of opening up to me? “I’m so sorry, Bane.”
“It’s in the past. I’ve dealt with it. I’ve made a vow to make sure my kid knows what unconditional love is like.” He paused as he prepared the sandwiches. “As soon as I was old enough, I left and joined the marines, which led me to the Black Division. Seems the group that saved me nearly destroyed me also.” The pan sizzled with butter. I couldn’t believe how open Bane was being. “No one ever knew this except now you.”
No one? Jasmine was having his kid. Surely she knew. I couldn’t bring myself to ask. It was trivial. She was dead and he’d loved her. I understood, but it made it hard to navigate these conversations at times knowing I wanted to be the center of his world. The damn hormones kicked in as I tried to keep back the tears.
Bane placed the grilled cheese in front of me. I took a deep breath as he knelt beside me. My heart hammered. “Maren …” I focused on the sear marks of the bread. The last thing I needed to do was
cry. “Maren, please look at me.” I did. “Not even Jasmine knew about all that. She didn’t know any specifics about the Black Division. She didn’t know about the darkness that’s inside of me. Only you.”
“Bane—”
He put his finger to my mouth. “I wanted you to have a little more of my past to explain why I reacted the way I did. Love doesn’t come easy for me. Giving myself to someone is even harder. I’ve lost everything I’ve ever loved or wanted … except you and the baby. I’m terrified if I get too close or don’t stay focused that the same thing will happen to you.”
Removing his finger, I stayed silent as the tears fell down. Bane sat beside me and took a bite of his grilled cheese. I followed suit as he watched me. The flavors burst across my tongue. “Oh wow, the sandwich is delicious.”
The cheese melted in my mouth with the savory butter bread.
He gave me a wink and I saw the carefree side of Bane that was rare. “It’s all in the mayo that’s used.”
I giggled again. “Well, I can see these being in high demand through the pregnancy.”
Bane beamed. “I’d like that.”
A few days passed since Alex paid us a visit. No one triggered any of the alarms that surrounded the property. My mind eased, but maybe that was what they wanted. It was tiresome constantly wondering what was going to happen.
Bane tirelessly checked everything and kept in contact with the security. They had to be making a pretty penny being with us nonstop. Money wasn’t an issue with Bane. It was hard to imagine me being in my apartment with all the bugs. So much had changed … for the better.
The security team had been on regular scouting trips to check for snipers. Every time I heard the word I felt queasy knowing that was how Jasmine was killed while Bane felt his child die in her womb. There were no words to describe the pain I would feel if I was left without Bane or our child.
Through the days and nights, Bane and I continued to share more about ourselves on a more personal level. We knew all of the surface level stuff about each other, but he was going beneath the surface. His mom had been a terrible person with what she’d done to him. I knew it all and it only drew me closer to him.
Not leaving the house made me stir crazy as I tidied the living room for the hundredth time this morning. Bane was outside on the porch talking to one of the men. I never saw them except occasionally out a window. On the mantle, I straightened and angled all of the decorative pieces a new way to see if I liked it better. Getting out of the house was about to become a necessity instead of a want. Bane walked back in the room wearing a short sleeve black T-shirt and jeans. “Want to take a walk?”
I froze as I adjusted the throw pillows. “Are you serious?”
There was more to Bane than I ever realized and I was falling for him. Dangerously falling for him as my heart became engulfed with the feeling. It was dangerous to feel this way and I was terrified of being hurt again.
“Yes, I thought the fresh air would do all of us some good. I know you’re going stir crazy.” Eyeing the pillow in my hand he suppressed his chortle.
Nothing more had been said about Jasmine. I was also scared that Bane wanted me around simply because of the baby. I wasn’t sure where we stood or what we wanted out of this. Maybe Bane was thinking it all through deciding what he honestly wanted.
“I’d love to.”
Slipping on my shoes, I followed Bane out the front door excited to feel the sun against my face, the wind in my hair, and hear the birds chirping. It was a beautiful day. Bane grabbed my hand as we walked down the driveway with the gravel crunching under our feet. Holding hands felt intimate with Bane over these last few days. When we slept together at night, he would hold my hand. I loved it.
The citrus smell filled the air as I filled my lungs.
“What scares you about being with me?”
I momentarily paused and looked up at Bane. His dark eyes showed the raw pain he exposed himself to. The truth needed to be out there in the open. “That you are only trying to be with me because of the baby. If the baby wasn’t here, you’d have left me without a second thought or would leave me if something happened.”