After he came in my mouth with his hands grasping on to my head tightly, he pulled me up the bed and into his arms, where we've been lying for the past half hour in comfortable silence.
"Merry Christmas," I tell him back. "I'm glad I came over."
"I know you're glad you came," he says licentiously. I give him a tiny elbow in the ribs and he laughs over his crude joke.
"Seriously," I say as I stroke my hand over the smattering of hair in the center of his chest. "I'm glad I'm spending today with you."
"And tonight," he says with simple command. As if I'd even think to argue.
We fall into silence again, our heartbeats back to normal, our breathing slow and mellow. I love how he greeted me at the door about an hour ago. With a sprig of mistletoe in his hand, he held it over my head and gave me a sweet kiss.
Then he dropped the mistletoe right there in the entryway, picked me up, slammed the door behind me, and carried me into his bedroom. And now, here we are.
"Zack's proposal last night was pretty epic," I say, just to start some conversation. We've only been together a few times, and each time we've had sex or done some type of sex act multiple times. But there's also been a lot of conversation between us as we start to discover more about each other personally.
"Yeah...didn't think he was going to pull it off for a minute," Ryker says with a laugh.
"I'm glad to see him so happy. I really, really liked Gina, but seeing him with Kate...you can just see it so clearly. How they are meant to be together."
"I didn't know Gina, but I can see what you see in Kate. She's amazing and she couldn't have happened to a nicer guy."
"Did you feel that way about Hensley?" I ask him, and wait to see if he tenses over the question. While he's talked plenty about Ruby and Violet, who frankly scare me in a way that I can't quite understand, we haven't discussed his marriage much. In fact, I'm not even sure if he's legally divorced.
Ryker doesn't tense and I find that causes my heart to crack a little wider where he's concerned. He's such an open book that it's easy to put faith in him. "I don't know, to be honest. Before I found out she was screwing Sutter, I would have said yes. I had nothing to compare it to, so the way I felt about her when we got married...yeah, it felt like she was meant for me. But now, something like that makes you question the truthfulness of your own feelings. You know what I mean?"
"You know, I actually don't know what you mean," I tell him with a laugh.
I feel him lift his head from the pillow to look at me so I angle my face up. He's staring at me with shrewd eyes. "You've never been in love? Or had a serious relationship?"
Laying my head back down on his shoulder, I shake my head. "Never had time, I guess."
Ryker snorts and I lift my head again to look at him. "What? I've been busy."
"You've never found the right person," he says with a wisdom that perhaps I should have since we're the same age but seems to be failing me. "If you did, you would have made the time."
I go ahead and push off of him, leaning on my right hip and locking my right arm to support myself so I can look down at him. My eyes briefly cross over the tattoo he has on his left upper arm. It's a partial brick wall in homage to his hockey nickname, but personalized with the words Violet and Ruby in graffiti-type lettering. It's tough and sensitive all at the same time.
It's totally Ryker.
Playing with the edge of the sheet that's pulled up to my hips, and keeping my gaze averted, I admit, "I don't think I really understand the concept. My mom died when I was so young, so I was raised by a single parent. I never saw my dad in love with a woman. He was always devoted to just me and his business. I really have no other frame of reference to go by."
"But you've had friends, other family members in relationships?" he prods.
I look up at him and give him a smile that says, Oh you gullible man, you.
"Ryker...I was more interested in figuring out advanced physics problems by the time I hit puberty than boys. Even though my dad held me back a bit, I was still way far behind in emotional maturity than the people I went to school with. And once I sort of figured out what was going on, no one was really interested in the young, nerdy smart girl."
"Nerdy my ass," Ryker interjects.
"The point being," I talk right over him. "I didn't have a conventional upbringing. Some of this is just...foreign to me."
He reaches a hand out and trails his knuckles over my bare breast while he stares at me thoughtfully. "I don't get it. You're vibrant, warm, passionate. You're the type of woman built for a relationship."
"Except I channel all of that into my career," I point out.
"Maybe it's time for you to change that," he counters with a cocked eyebrow and a lopsided grin.
"With you?"
Ryker's hand moves from my breast to cup me around the back of my neck. He tugs me down on top of him, slides his lips across mine. When he pulls back to look at me, he makes my heart clench. "I told you once I don't do flings, but I find it frustrating and odd that you and I work so very closely together, and yet we are still worlds apart."
"Because our professional careers don't let us mesh our personal lives together," I finish.
He doesn't respond to me right away and I can almost see his brain processing something within his eyes. Finally, he says, "If we both want it enough, we would find a way to make it work. And I know it would be very easy for me to just say, 'Fuck what people think about us being together,' but the truth is that I could never do anything to jeopardize your position as our GM. It's too important. Too historical. I think you're necessary to this team, and if being with me, in public, would hurt you or this organization, I will always step back."
My eyes sting, because other than my father, I've never had another soul put my well-being before theirs. It's overwhelming to me. I place my hand on his chest. "I'm sorry that I can't give you more. I think I'd really, really like to see what 'more' with you would be like."
"Me too," he says quietly, and then pushes me back onto the bed. His head dips and his mouth runs over my neck while his hands roam over my body.
I slip my fingers in his hair and sigh over all of the amazing feelings this man brings to my doorstep. Not just feelings of body, but feelings of spirit. I'm so conflicted because he makes me want so much more, and yet how could I ever take that risk? This is just all too new for me right now to put my entire career and reputation on the line.
"Oh, I forgot to tell you," he murmurs as he kisses along my collarbone, placing a kiss in between each word.
"What's that?"
"I invited Max to your yoga class on Friday," he says casually as he moves down my chest.
My fingers tighten in his hair and I tug to pull his face up. I lift my own head from the pillow and look down at him with wary eyes. "You did what?"
"Invited Max to yoga on Friday. He's a goalie. He's recovered from his injury. It's a great workout."
I just blink at him in astonishment. "O-k-a-a-y."
"Is that a problem?" he asks with seriou
s eyes. "Because it's just yoga. It's not like we're fucking in the studio or anything."
I shake my head, immediately dismissing that thought. Having Max come to yoga would be a great thing for him, and it would actually be better to have both goalies there. That would help dispel any notions that Ryker was getting extra attention from me.
Rubbing my thumbs along his scalp, I smile at him. "I'm just surprised you'd offer to help him. He's your main competition for the starting goalie slot."
I'm immediately shamed by the chastising look Ryker gives me, but he follows it up with a quick smile. "Come on, Gray. It's a team sport, not individual. God forbid something happens to me, we need Max strong."
And then I truly understand my attraction to Ryker. He is an unbelievably good man. He's a team player all the way. He wants the greater good for the whole rather than for the individual.
That quality is sexy as hell, makes my heart flippity flop all over the place, and makes me really, really want to give him another blow job.
"You're eyes just turned really hot," he says as he inches his way up my body. I can feel his erection pressing into my hip. "Whatcha thinking?"
"About sucking your cock," I tell him coyly.
He grins at me devilishly, leans down, and nips my lower lip with his teeth. "Okay," he says exuberantly, but then pushes up and rolls away. When his feet hit the floor, he reaches into the drawer of his bedside table and turns to me with a little gift bag in his hand. "But I wanted to give this to you first.
I sit up straight in the bed, pulling the sheet up and over my breasts, where I clutch at the cotton material with a raw feeling of vulnerability.
He got me a gift.
A Christmas gift if the bright red paper and green bow is any indication.
Ryker Evans stands there gloriously naked, completely unabashed with his huge erection pointed outward...holding out a Christmas gift for me. He looks like a kid when he climbs back onto the bed, settles in beside me, and snatches the sheet away.
"Quit covering your tits," he teases me as he hands me the bag. "I want them always on display around me."
Is that my hand shaking as I reach out to take the bag?
I'm equal parts overwhelmed with happiness and dismay. Beyond happy, actually, that he thought of me in such a kind and sensitive way. I've never gotten gifts for Christmas beyond what my father and I exchange, and there is something about Ryker taking the time to buy me something that sets off all of my hormonal bells. But I'm dismayed just as much because I didn't even think to get him something. What does that say about me?