Pushing on his chest, I manage to break the kiss. Van's eyes are dark and needful, but I also see patience within. I, on the other hand, am the least patient person in the world. I go after what I want, when I want it. Van knows this about me.
"Van?" I ask softly, my fingers pressing into his chest muscles. "Do you trust me?"
I know he wasn't expecting this question as he blinks in surprise and says, "I've told you my deepest, darkest secret. I think it's fair to say I trust you."
I nod in understanding. I expected this answer. "And I trust you. So if you were to tell me right now it would be okay for us to have sex without a condom, I'd take that to mean you were clean as a whistle."
If I thought Van's eyes were heated before, they flare into a blazing inferno of lust.
"And since you trust me," I continue, "I'll merely say that I'm spick-and-span too, and on the pill to boot."
Van's lips curve upward but he just stares at me, considering my offer for us to take this to a higher level. A level on which I've never been with a man before.
Because he's not a man of many words, he doesn't answer me.
He shows me.
Flexing his hips, his cock slides back a few inches, then he presses forward slightly so the tip rests right at my wet entrance.
His gaze locks with me for a moment, his face dips so his lips touch mine.
Then oh my God...he starts to slide into me and I get dizzy from the implications, the feel, and the raging need that's now coursing through my body.
Van hums low in his throat as he gives me inch after inch of his beautiful cock. My body takes him easily, stretching to accommodate his length, and my wetness allows him smooth entry until he's lodged in tight.
"Fuck that feels good," he mutters against my mouth.
But I can't even formulate words. I make an ugly grunting, moaning noise, and my head spins again as he starts to pull out. I let out a whimper of dismay as he exits almost to the tip, but then he's thrusting slowly back into me.
His movements are beautiful and languid. There's a fluidity to the way I undulate below him.
Van goes down to just one elbow, and with this other hand he takes mine from his shoulder. He laces our fingers together and then presses our joined hands into the pillow by my head. My fingers squeeze reflexively and his grip tightens even further.
Van's face hovers over me as he pulls away from our kiss. His eyes bore into mine with such intensity that the combination of his look and the feel of his bare cock working my pussy slowly starts an orgasm curling low in my belly.
My eyes flutter closed but pop back open when Van's grip tightens even more and his hips punch hard so he drives deep.
"Eyes on me, Simone," he growls. "I don't want to miss a fucking thing on your face when you come."
"Okay," I gasp as I raise my legs to curl them around the backs of his legs.
Van staring at me, thrusting slow but deep while he holds my hand tight, is almost too precious for me to bear. He's fully connected to me in every sense, and I am grateful for his patience. He wants to draw this out and let me savor this very unusual but beautiful side of him.
Slow, measured strokes, in and out.
Rhythm deliberately set to slow boil.
I can do nothing but concentrate on the feel of him, which includes the weight of his eyes on mine.
Van Turner is making love to me.
When my orgasm starts to release, it sweeps through me just as slow and luxurious as the way Van is fucking me. Rippling through my body, spreading outward to reach my fingertips and toes. Even my lips tingle with the sensation of what I can only call a full-body climax. I never let my gaze drop, holding his stare. He watches me come undone and he listens to the long moan I release, his expression one of both awe and triumph.
With every stroke Van continues to make within me, the ripples continue...seemingly never ending. They go on and on and on, and then Van's jaw tightens. His body goes still for just the barest of moments, then he groans and starts to shudder. His climax is powerful and I can practically feel it transfer through to my body.
"Simone," he growls as his hips start moving again, grinding out the remainder of his release. His hand is clenching mine so tight my fingertips are numb, but I don't ever want him to let go.
After a few moments, Van stops moving and drops his head so his face presses into my neck. I wrap my arms and legs tighter around him, and we just lay like that...quietly.
I don't feel the need to say anything to him. I believe he understands that I'll bear his secret right beside him, and that nothing he said is going to chase me away. On the contrary, I think he even gets that I'm going to stick tighter to him.
Yes. Van is a smart guy and he knows my heart is involved. He knew it was involved before I found his shoebox of history, which I truly believe is why he didn't fight me too much on sharing his story with me.
But I also know Van. Despite the beauty that we just shared, he is out of his element. Emotions and feelings are things he shows only sparingly. He's not used to sharing pieces of himself with anyone other than his aunt, and I have to imagine he's feeling a little raw and unsteady right now.
That's okay.
I've got him.
I've totally got him.
Van rolls to the side, wrapping his arms around me. He pulls me in tight to his chest and presses his lips to my forehead. I almost want to cry from this sweet gesture, something I never thought I'd experience from a man such as him.
"What do you want to do today?" Van finally asks, and I'm pleased that his voice sounds light.
No awkwardness or hesitancy.
He's going to let me share this with him, and that relieves me greatly. I just don't know if he wants me to be anything more.
"Well, before you went to the gym I thought we had talked about just staying in bed the rest of the day and fucking," I remind him.
"I don't know if I have anything in the tank after that," he mutters.
Chuckling, I burrow in closer to him. "That was...um...different."
"Fucking mind blowing." His voice is low and rumbling, and causes another ripple of pure pleasure to flow through me just from his reverent tone.
Yes. That is exactly what it was, but I don't say anything. Van is a man who releases his feelings in measured increments. He's just had his greatest secret exposed by me, shared the dirty details, and then had what I consider to be a life-changing sexual experience for both of us. He doesn't need me pressing anything at him right now.
I think what he needs is probably my quiet attention and a willingness to let him settle into this the best way that he can.
I know this also means that he may not be able to move one step forward in this relationship. Just because he exposed his demons doesn't mean he's over them. If anything, I fear that they may cause him to withdraw a little from me, since this is all so new and very weird for him.
Whatever he chooses to give me, I'll take it and wait him out. When I'm focused on the long game and not immediate gratification, I've actually got the patience of a saint, or so I've been told. My heart has already given its allegiance to Van. If he's got more in him to give, then I'm going to be there ready for him to give it. If he's got the ability to accept more from me, then whatever he wants will be his.
Until then...
"How about we compromise," Van says lightly. "Let's stay in bed all day and watch movies. Or the couch. Order pizza and just chill out."
"So no sex," I tease him.
Van's hand drops to my ass and he gives me a sharp swat. "Of course there will be sex, Shiny. It just won't be our primary focus. Got me?"
"Got you," I say with a laugh, and I already know that today is just going to be one that lives in my memory forever. It was the day I saw the real Van and hopefully started a new path that we can travel together.
Chapter 21