“Cool, I’ll let you go.”
“That isn’t necessary,” I stated as Buck stopped close to me.
His eyes shifted to the frames then to me. Then he bent and kissed my nose, turned and I saw the back of the jacket was exactly like the tattoo he had on his back, something I’d noted was on the leather vests or jackets many of the members wore, but the other members wore them all the time, not including Ink, Cruise, Gash and Riot who wore theirs only occasionally.
Presently, Buck shrugged it off, tossed it on the bed, and he walked straight back out.
“Now he’s gone. Beer time,” I guessed.
“Right,” she replied.
My eyes slid through the pictures then I walked to the bed and sat down next to his jacket. “I’ll talk to Tatiana tomorrow. I’ll let you know when to set up Debbie.”
“She’ll be okay,” Minnie assured.
I sighed then said, “I hope so.”
“Go be with your man,” she urged.
“Right,” I whispered, not sure I wanted to do that.
“Later, babe.”
“Later, Min.”
I disconnected, got up, walked to my nightstand and dropped the phone on top.
Then I heard, “Toots?”
I turned to see Tatiana standing in her pajamas just inside the door.
I smiled.
I liked her calling me Toots in that quiet, sweet voice.
“Hey, honey,” I replied.
“I’m…gonna,” she looked away and back at me, clearly hesitant, “hit the sack.”
“All right, sweetie. Good night.”
“Would you…?” She leaned in a bit then back and muttered, “Never mind.”
She started to leave, and I quickly walked forward, calling, “Tatie.”
She stopped, turned back to me, and I got close.
“What do you want, honey?” I asked softly.
“It’s stupid,” she whispered.
“Nothing’s stupid,” I assured her. “What do you want?”
She stared up at me and did this awhile.
“Baby,” I said gently, lifting a hand and shifting her hair off her shoulder. “Tell me what you want.”
“Would you…lie down with me? Just for a while. Just until I sleep. Talk to me like last night?”
Instantly I nodded, giving her a smile. “Let me get my nightgown on, you go lie down, and I’ll be right in.”
She stared up at me some more, unable to hide the surprise she felt at my easy agreement to her request, giving further evidence to the fact that her mom was seriously not much of a mom, before she whispered, “Thanks, Toots.”
“Anything, honey,” I whispered back.
She ducked her head and left the room.
I put on my nightie and robe, washed my face, brushed my teeth, moisturized and left the room too.
I walked to hers, closed the door behind me and crawled into her bed on top of her covers.
She curled into me, and I held her close, whispering to her, pieces of nothing, snatches of my life. The good parts, like Tia, her loyalty, her humor, her spirit (before Esposito broke it, though I didn’t share that), and Mrs. Jimenez, her tamales, how cute her grandchildren were, and other things, like how much I enjoyed college.
I did this until she was asleep.
And I stayed there until I fell asleep.
21
It’s the World as I Want It to Be
I was being lifted.
I opened my eyes and automatically my arms rounded Buck’s shoulders as I looked around Tatiana’s dark room.
Buck carried me out the door, dropped the arm under my knees, and my toes skimmed the floor as he closed Tatiana’s door.
“Buck, she needs me,” I whispered.
My feet hit the floor full, and he turned us toward his room, moving us that direction.
“She had you, now she needs to sleep.”
“She needs company,” I told him as he guided us into his room and closed his door.
“She needs to sleep alone, Toots, like always,” he replied, stopping us by the bed.
“Okay, you’re right, but she can do that tomorrow. Tonight, it’s still fresh.”
“Sooner’s better than later,” he returned, tugging on the tie to my robe.
“Buck,” I protested as the robe came loose and he raised his hands to pull it off my shoulders.
“I get it, babe, you’re in there for her. You’re also in there to avoid me.”
Hmm.
It was annoying when he figured me out.
“That’s not true,” I lied.
The robe was gone, his hands slid over my bottom and he pulled me to him as his head bent.
I felt his lips against mine, and he changed the subject.
“Gonna fuck you slow now, baby, remind you how much you like bein’ connected to me, remind you why you chose me, and I’m gonna take my time doin’ it.”
Oh my.
“Buck—” I started, but his fingers flexed on my behind and his mouth captured mine.
Instantly, it began.
Buck knew it and he didn’t waste time.
He lifted me, spread my legs. They clamped around his hips, and he put a knee to the bed.
Then I was on my back and Buck was on top of me, his hands drifting over me, light. Lighter than he’d ever touched me, and it made me shiver in a good way.