Two thoughts struck her at the same time. The first was that the hut was beautifully warm, and the second was that there was someone already in occupation. The fire had been lit and thick woollen socks and a pair of jeans were drying in front of it. She could smell something cooking—beans—and never had anything smelled so delicious. There was a certain sense of camaraderie in knowing she wasn’t the only one in need of a haven from the weather, but the smile curving her lips died and shock stormed through her as the man with his back to her stood up and turned round.
‘Jake! What…’ She felt herself sway, more with shock than anything else and then Jake’s hands were biting into the tender flesh of her waist, his voice rough in her ear as he said angrily, ‘Kate, what the devil… You didn’t follow me up here, did you?’
‘Follow you?’ Shock gave way to anger, scorn igniting sapphire flames in the depths of her eyes. ‘Why on earth would I want to do that?’ she demanded tautly. ‘You’re the last person I expected to see up here!’ She missed the grim tightening of his mouth and the way his eyes became icily bleak as they surveyed her soaking jeans and exhausted, pale face.
‘What are you doing here, then? Lost your way on a Sunday stroll, did you?’
‘Kevin and I were going to go fell-walking, but he was called out on a case,’ Kate told him tiredly, pulling off her gloves and stretching out her hands eagerly to the warmth of the flames. ‘I decided to walk alone—I was dressed and ready when he phoned, but then the mist came down just after lunch. I knew it was too dangerous to continue, and just as hazardous to turn back, and then I realised I could probably make it up here…’
‘You’ve changed,’ she heard Jake saying curtly behind her. ‘The Kate I knew would have sat down and indulged in hysterics until someone came and found her.’
‘The Kate you knew was twenty years old and knew very little about life. Don’t forget you married her straight out of college,’ Kate reminded him brittly, ‘but time and experience has a way of changing everyone. I learned to manage on my own because I had to, Jake. If I’d stayed out on the fell and indulged in tears, by morning I’d have been suffering from exposure. Apart from which no one would be likely to find me as no one knows where I am.’
‘Rather foolish, wasn’t it?’ he asked coldly. ‘I thought one of the first tenets of walking was to let someone know where you are.’
‘In normal circumstances, yes, but Meg is spending the night at Matt’s, so she won’t be worrying about where I am.’
‘And Kevin? Won’t he be worried when you don’t get back tonight?’
‘Kevin?’ Kate stared at him, then flushed as she remembered Rita’s innuendoes. ‘What about Rita, does she know where you are?’ she asked him, ignoring his question.
Jake ignored her comment as she had ignored his. ‘Now that you are here, you’d better get out of those wet things,’ he said tersely. ‘Oh, come on, Kate,’ he grated when she didn’t make any move to obey him. ‘You’re not going all coy on me, are you? Remember I’ve seen it all before, and it didn’t incite me to lust then. You’ve nothing to fear from me,’ he added brutally. ‘I never did like women who used sex as a weapon.’
‘I didn’t!’ Kate objected hotly. ‘I…’
‘You refused to sleep with me,’ Jake overruled her flatly. ‘You refused to have my child.’
‘Because I couldn’t bear to bring a child into what you and men like you have made of the world! Death, destruction, pain…’
‘All those things were there before, Kate,’ Jake told her, and it seemed to Kate that there was weariness as well as impatience in his voice. ‘If I’d had any other job would it have been any different?’ He shook his head, his mouth curling sardonically, the flicker of the flames lending the sharply hewn planes of his face a demonic arrogance that chilled Kate as she watched him. ‘It wasn’t my job you rejected, Kate, it was me. I ought to have realised at the time that you were too immature, that you’d absorbed too many of Lyla’s half-baked theories…’
‘Theories like male and female equality, you mean?’ Kate countered bitterly. ‘That was something you never believed in, was it, Jake? As far as you were concerned, I was subservient to you…your woman…’
‘Not subservient,’ he corrected sharply, ‘but not equal, at least not in the sense that you mean. You can’t make male and female equal, Kate, each has its virtues and its vices, and we’re made to complement one another. I’m not doubting women’s ability or stamina, I never did, I just feel that for a woman to succeed in a male-orientated world—and make no mistake, that is what ours is—she has to make too many sacrifices, too many compromises. A woman with children and a career is always being torn apart with guilt and dread. I’ve seen it happen, I’m not saying it’s right or even fair, but that’s the way it is. And you destroy yourselves. Take a woman like Rita, for instance. If she was a man she’d be admired by her own sex for her ruthless pursuit of her own desires and gain, but because she’s a woman her fellow women dislike her for those very vices which would be virtues in a man. Lyla taught you to expect perfection from marriage because that was what she was always looking for, but it doesn’t exist, because human beings aren’t perfect. Nothing I did was right, you even resented me for giving you sexual pleasure.’
‘That’s not true!’ But even as she said the words, Kate knew there was a kernel of truth in what he said. It wasn’t so much the pleasure they had shared which she resented, but Jake’s ability to arouse a need in her body even though her mind disliked everything he was and stood for.
‘Anyway, none of it matters any more,’ Kate said tiredly. ‘Our marriage is over and has been for two years. Why won’t you agree to a divorce?’ she asked him. ‘My solicitor…’
‘Why do you think?’ She glanced at his profile, noting the hard thinness of his lips, the planes of his face which emphasised the polished thrust of his cheekbones. He looked leaner than she remembered, tireder, but the thick black lashes still fanned his skin with the vulnerability she remembered and which had moved her to tenderness on so many occasions in the past, that vulnerability so at odds with the man she knew him to be. ‘Because our marriage, such as it is, offers you a measure of protection against other women,’ Kate said forthrightly, remembering what her lawyer had said. ‘Does Rita know you’re married?’
‘She knows I’m separated,’ he said casually, ‘As you say, the legal tie between us affords me a bolt-hole in times of need. But what about you, what does Kevin think about the fact that you’re still legally tied to another man?’
‘Kevin is a friend and nothing more,’ Kate retorted hotly.
‘Oh, come on! I saw the way he looked when you walked out of that bedroom. It was obvious that you had nothing on under that robe. I know the enticement your body offers, Kate, so don’t try telling me that Kevin is immune to it.’
‘Why not? Not ten minutes ago you were telling me that you were.’
‘He doesn’t know you like I do. Look, get those jeans off,’ Jake instructed, suddenly changing the subject, ‘they’re soaking!’
They were, and Kate knew it was ridiculous to feel shy about undressing in front of him. After all, he knew her body as intimately as she knew it herself; he had awakened it to pleasure and had taught it to respond with mindless sensuality to his touch. But that was the trouble. Even now, disliking him, hating their enforced intimacy, Kate could feel her body’s response to him; the tension coiling through her stomach, the heavy thud of her heart.
‘What the devil’s the matter with you now?’ He stood up, frowning, and Kate held her breath, watching the firelight play on the strong, powerful lines of his body. Like her he had obviously been saturated by the mist and had taken off his jeans and socks. A thick quilted jacket lay in one corner of the room and he had removed his sweater, his plaid shirt doing little to conceal the masculine structure of his body; his thighs, tanned beneath their sprinkling of dark hair. Kate felt the blood rush to her face as she vividly remembered the feel of his
thighs against her, the heated rasp of taut male flesh and muscle against the quivering softness of her body.
‘Are you going to take them off, or do I have to do it for you?’ The grim, soft words penetrated the fog of sensation clouding her mind. ‘I’ve already told you, you’ve nothing to fear from me, although I would have thought the experience you’ve gained during the years we’ve been apart would have taught you when a man desires you and when he doesn’t.’
His words were like a slap in the face. He spoke so contemptuously and callously, as though it mattered little to him what she did or with whom, but then why should it? She didn’t care in the slightest about him any more, did she?
As she eased off her jeans with trembling fingers, Kate kept her eyes averted from Jake’s body. The feelings looking at him had aroused were still too near the surface, and still had the power to disturb her. Who would ever have thought she would react to him like that? During their marriage she had wanted him, but she had always been content for him to take the initiative, she could never remember touching him without express invitation, whereas just then… What on earth was she thinking of? She had not wanted to touch Jake, why should she? She hadn’t desired any man in the years they had been apart, and she didn’t want to. Desire was a treacherous trap designed to fog the mind and deceive the senses, and it was one she was going to avoid for the rest of her life.
‘And those,’ Jake said grimly, reaching out to curl his hand round her ankle to test the dryness of her tights, once she had removed her jeans. ‘They’re soaking as well. We can’t leave here until morning, even if the mist does lift before then, and when we do leave it might as well be wearing dry clothes. There’s a couple of sleeping bags here, so at least we should be able to sleep in comfort.’ He had turned his back towards her and Kate pulled off her wet tights, watching the movements of his dark head, wondering at the aching hunger spreading through her lower body. By the time she had removed her tights and parka she had herself under control, shaken by the depth of need that had suddenly sprung to life inside her from a source she hadn’t known existed. It was simply because they had once been lovers, she told herself shakily, a physical response to the past, intensified by the fact that there had been no other man in her life.
They ate their beans in silence, drinking the tea Kate brewed on the small stove. The hut was pleasantly warm, and her jeans were steaming in front of the fire. A pleasant lethargy invaded her body, disappearing as she moved and winced at the pain lancing through her skin.
‘What’s wrong?’ Jake frowned, following the movement of her fingers along her inner thigh. The flesh was sore and chafed from her damp jeans and Kate winced again as her fingers brushed it.
‘It’s nothing,’ she lied briefly. ‘If you don’t mind, Jake, I think I’ll turn in.’
‘Let me see,’ he ordered, ignoring the final part of her sentence, and before she could stop him, his fingers were investigating the sore place discovered by her own.
‘Nothing?’ His eyebrows lifted in sardonic mockery as she flinched beneath his touch. ‘My jeans were new and they rubbed…’
‘So I see. I’ve got some cream that might help.’ He got up and walked across to his parka, while Kate sat still watching him. Her breath seemed to have lodged somewhere in her throat and she felt too weak to protest when, instead of handing her the tube, he kneeled down in front of her, uncapping it and squeezing some lotion on to his fingers. It felt wonderfully cool against her heated skin, but her initial relief was swiftly followed by other and far more disturbing sensations. The movement of Jake’s fingers against her skin sent feelings spiralling through her, then rang alarm bells in her brain, the effort of controlling her breathing so that she didn’t betray the effect he was having on her, draining the last fragile resources of her control. But some responses couldn’t be controlled, and to her chagrin Kate felt the unmistakable hardening of her nipples beneath the thin fabric of her thermal top, and what was worse she knew Jake was aware of it too, as he raised his head slowly, the colour burning hotly in her face as his eyes rested coolly on the aroused outline of her breasts. She expected him to mock her and waited, with held breath, for the scornful words that could only add to her humiliation, her eyes closed defensively against the expression she was sure she would see in the cold grey depths of Jake’s.
‘Kate!’ She heard him mutter her name, but nothing could have prepared her for the fingers that probed the tender outline of her breast, tugging at the candy-striped fabric, until the pale flesh with its rosy betraying aureole was exposed to his gaze. And not just his gaze, Kate acknowledged on a shudder as the hard pad of Jake’s thumb brushed against her aroused flesh. Her eyes flew open in stunned disbelief, widening as they took in the dull, hectic flush of colour staining the high cheekbones, and the liquid intensity of the grey eyes that searched her face, before returning avidly to her body. She was incapable of protest when Jake bent over her and removed her top completely, incapable of anything but amazed incredulity at the hunger she had never suspected she had felt, but which was apparent in the starved response of her body to his open appraisal. A sensuality she had never known she possessed held her still beneath Jake’s slow inspection, only the slight arching of her body as his hands moved slowly downwards, cupping her breasts and lingering over their softness, betraying the fierce need that had come leaping to live inside her the moment he touched her.
‘Kate… Kate, I’m so damned hungry for you,’ Kate heard him mutter, and then his mouth was on hers, blotting out the protest she would have made, invading and possessing the moist inner sweetness until a familiar languor started to sweep over her. Her lips admitted the probing heat of his, her fingers twining in his hair to hold him against her when he lifted his head, his tongue moistening the delicate shaping of her ear, his teeth tugging softly, nipping her tingling flesh. Her hands had found their way inside his shirt, her palms flat against the moist heat of his chest, her lips pressing tiny, hungry kisses against his throat, tasting its masculine texture. The past, their separation, all were forgotten, there was only Jake now, and the tumultuous feelings he aroused inside her, feelings that were now clamouring for release. She ached to touch and caress him, to feel his body shudder in pleasure against hers.
‘Kate, you’re as hungry as I am,’ Jake groaned against her ear, nibbling the sensitive flesh. ‘The lovers you’ve had since we’ve been apart can’t have known how to please you, my Cat.’ His hand stroked smoothly down her body, every vibrant pulse leaping to life, but his words chilled her heated flesh, reminding her of who he was and all that lay between them; for a moment she lay still, listening to the siren song of her body, knowing how much it craved Jake’s touch, but her mind reminded her of all the pain and misery she had endured through this man.
‘If you’re hungry, Jake, I suggest you tell Rita,’ she managed to say coolly as she pulled away from him.
An expletive that made her shrink splintered the silence, and Kate quailed beneath the look of bitter loathing he gave her. ‘I’d forgotten that was always one of your favourite games, Kate,’ he told her savagely as he stood up, ‘but it’s a game you can’t always play without getting burned. If I lie there aching for satisfaction tonight, at least I’ll have the compensation of knowing you’re aching too. I thought when I saw you the other night that you’d finally grown up, but I was wrong—you’re still the same little fool you always were.’ He reached for one of the rolled-up sleeping bags and tossed it over to her. ‘Sweet dreams,’ he gritted unpleasantly, turning his back on her as he pulled out the second sleeping bag and carefully banked up the fire, until it was little more than a glow, but as she had been dangerously reminded tonight, even the dimmest embers could be whipped into a burning inferno, given the right conditions. How could she have desired him? Shivering, she slid into the quilted bag. It was no use pretending, she had desired him, and with an intensity that made her shake uncontrollably as she tried to calm herself enough to go to sleep. If she hadn’t mad
e that remark, by now… She shuddered and resolutely closed her eyes. She had done the right thing. She couldn’t have faced herself if she had encouraged Jake to make love to her. The only reason he had wanted her was to appease his need. A man like Jake could never live like a monk. Like her, he had been affected by their intimacy, by memories of their marriage. Thank God she had stopped him when she had.
CHAPTER FOUR
MUCH TO Kate’s chagrin Jake had insisted on accompanying her back to Woolerton, and of course their arrival together didn’t go unnoticed. While Meg and Kevin accepted her explanation of how they had come to find themselves together at the hut, without any comment other than merely remarking on the coincidence, Kate discovered that Rita put a very different interpretation on the situation.
She arrived at the shop just as Kate was about to stop for her coffee break, her blue eyes glittering with malice, her face flushed with anger.
‘I suppose you think you’ve been very clever,’ was her opening remark, ‘but Jake is far too intelligent to be taken in by you. It’s obvious that you’ve been trying to gain his attention from the first time you saw him, but it won’t work, Kate. So I’m warning you now…’ she broke off as the shop door bell rang, and Kate didn’t know which of them was the more astounded when Jake himself walked in. Rita gave Kate a murderous glance before linking her arm through Jake’s and cooing softly, ‘Darling, how nice! Now you can drive me home—I wanted to see you anyway. Daddy always has a dinner party before the Hunt Ball, and of course you’ll be included. What brings you here?’ she added, giving Kate another angry glare. ‘Don’t tell me you want one of Kate’s jumpers!’