Buttons & Hate (Buttons 2)

“Anything you want, I’ll make it happen.” He said it with such conviction that I believed him.

“There’s nothing I want at the moment.” I was curious to know what became of Cane. He left the hospital but how injured was he? Should I expect him to make another attack? I didn’t ask because it would get under Crow’s skin.

“Do you want to leave?” He didn’t meet my gaze when he asked the question, unable to say it with meaning. “Because you’re free to go whenever you wish. I’ll make all the arrangement to return you safely.”

Freedom.

He was giving it to me on a silver platter. All I had to do was give the word and I’d be returned to America. I would listen to the traffic of the city and see the weirdoes pass me on the sidewalk. I would inhale the pollution and savor the smell on my nose. I would see skyscrapers block out the sun after five in the evening. I would see home again.

But how would I survive in my state? I couldn’t even walk. I had no home to return to, not a cent to my name, and no job. I couldn’t go back right now. And even if I could I wasn’t sure I wanted to.

Something held me back.

“I want to stay.”

He turned his gaze on me, unable to hide the relief in his eyes. “You’re sure?”

I nodded.

“The offer isn’t temporary. You can always change your mind.”

“I know...” The buttons no longer mattered. He didn’t own me anymore. I was free to come and go as I pleased—like a person. Our relationship was different. It was the first time I was treated as a guest.

“You have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow. Routine check up.”

“Good. I need as many pills as possible.”

A tiny smile formed on his lips, hardly noticeable. “I’ll get you everything you need.”

“Thanks.” I picked at my salad but didn’t take a bite. Everything Lars made was delicious but my stomach couldn’t hold down food like it used to.

“Keep eating.” His voice hinted with authority but he didn’t exert it the way he used to, suffocating me.

“I’m not hungry.”

“How do you expect to get your strength back if you don’t eat?”

“I may never get my strength back...” I was more scarred than ever before. I’d lost nearly half my blood. I hadn’t looked at my face but I knew it was demolished. I probably didn’t look like myself at all.

“Button, you will.” The nickname came by surprise but he didn’t hesitate at the word. He looked at me the way he used to, full of respect and admiration. “I’ll help you get there.”

While the belief warmed my heart, it wasn’t enough. Hopelessness flooded inside me. After nearly dying from my injuries I would never be the same. It would take months to recover. And even then, I wouldn’t be able to run as fast or push as hard.

He spotted the unease on my face, knowing exactly what I was thinking. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Throw a pity party for yourself. I won’t allow it.”

I averted my gaze.

“I won’t allow it.”

***

The fire roared in the heart directly across from his large bed. The nightmares hadn’t descended because his presence drove them away. He was the protector of my dreams—and the protector of my body.

He maneuvered me against his chest, careful not to hurt me in the process. He pulled my leg between his knees and rested his head against mine. The fire was the only source of light in the room and it cast a glow on his bare chest.

His hard chest was the most comfortable place. I preferred it over the soft mattress or a field of flowers. It was warm and inviting. I tried not to think of all the other women who slept in this bed. The woman that kissed him came to my mind. I never stopped being angry with him for that. He broke my heart when I didn’t realize he could.

I stopped myself from thinking about it before the pain pulled me under.

Crow watched every move I made. He could distinguish my thoughts in my eyes, knowing something changed in the atmosphere. He sensed the tension in my petite arms, the way I slightly pulled away from him. “What are you thinking?”

“Nothing.” I cleared my mind and stopped picturing him with other women. When I thought about it too hard I felt like I might drown in despair. He didn’t mean anything when I arrived here but when I thought he was sticking his cock in someone else I realized he meant the world to me.

“Don’t lie to me.” He moved on top of me, holding himself up on his arms. He pinned me to the mattress so I couldn’t squirm away.

Which was pointless since I couldn’t move.

“Do you hate me for letting this happen to you?” he whispered. “Because you should.”