Buttons and Grace (Buttons 6)

My resilience waned, and I picked up the phone.

It must be early in the morning there. He was probably at work or having breakfast. Or maybe he was out on a run. I wouldn’t know until he answered.

He picked up quickly, answering on the second ring. “Bellissima.”

It was the most beautiful word I’d ever heard. It possessed a much deeper greeting than it seemed on the surface. It encompassed so much of our relationship, so much of the connection between us. “I hope this isn’t a bad time.”

“Day or night, it’s never a bad time,” he said quietly.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m sitting in my car at the vineyard. I just parked.”

“How’s the weather?”

“Sunny with no clouds,” he said. “The sun rose a few hours ago, and the grapes are gleaming in the light. We’re doing a harvest today, so we have a lot of locals coming down to help us pick the fruit.”

“That sounds nice.”

“Not a bad way to spend my day.”

“No…” I turned on my side and closed my eyes, wishing I was standing beside him in Tuscan paradise.

“How’s life in South Carolina?” He sounded the same way he did before, lighthearted and easygoing. He didn’t seem sad the way he had at the airport. He was either putting on a good performance, or he’d accepted the fact that I was living a new life.

“It’s okay.” I wanted to tell him it was great, that I loved school and everything else about my life. I wanted to tell him I met new friends and reconnected with old ones. I wanted to say my parents and I took a family trip even though we couldn’t go anywhere without being recognized. But I didn’t say any of that since it wasn’t true.

“Are you having a hard time?” he asked quietly.

“It’s not…not what I expected.”

He was silent, inviting me to continue.

“Everyone knows who I am. Everywhere I go, people take pictures of me. My story had a lot of media coverage, so all my classmates know everything that happened to me. People walk on eggshells around me like I might explode any minute. My old friends don’t know how to behave around me. Not a single guy has asked me out. I haven’t gotten a job because I know people will be weird when they interact with me…”

He sighed into the phone. “I’m sorry to hear that.” Even though he’d warned me of this, he seemed sincere. “What about your parents?”

“They’re the one thing that hasn’t changed. We play board games together and still sit down for our meals. That’s nice. But that’s the only thing that’s enjoyable.”

* * *

“At least you have them.”

“Yeah…I moved in to a little house down the street. I needed my own space, and they were reluctant to let me go. But now they’re okay with it.”

“It’s in a nice area, right?” The protective side of him emerged, a version of him that would never die, no matter how many miles separated us.

“Very nice.”

“Did you buy it?”

“No, just renting.”

Cane didn’t express his disappointment that I hadn’t bought anything. “I wish things were better for you, Bellissima. All I can say is, it should get better in time. In a few years, people will forget about your story.”

I didn’t want to wait years to have a normal life. “Yeah…”

Cane sat on the phone with me in silence, enjoying my presence even when we didn’t have a conversation. “Last time we were on the phone, you told me you missed me.”

I held my breath.

“You hung up on me before I could say it back. So I’m going to say it now. I miss you too, Bellissima.”

I closed my eyes and felt my chest ache.

“Your clothes are still in the closet. Your makeup is still in my bathroom. I still don’t sleep on your side of the bed because I’m so used to having you there. It’s a habit I can’t break.”

I didn’t have a response to such beautiful words, so I didn’t say anything at all. Tears were already in my eyes, and I wished I were sitting beside him in that car. I wished I could look at his face, touch his beard.

When Cane knew I wasn’t going to say anything, he changed the subject. “Pearl is starting to show. I can see her belly through her shirts.”

“Aww…”

“Crow is really happy. I can tell he’s taken to fatherhood pretty well, even though the baby isn’t here yet.”

“He’ll be a great dad.”

“Yeah, he will be,” he whispered. “Other than that, there’s been nothing new going on. We’re still working on the second winery, and I’ve taken over at the original one so Crow can be home with Pearl more.”

“That’s nice.”

The silence returned to the conversation. We sat together and absorbed the unspoken tension between us. I knew Cane didn’t want to get off the phone even though he had nothing to say, and I didn’t want to get off the phone either. I wanted him beside me right then and there.