Buttons and Grace (Buttons 6)

But I couldn’t tell him that.

After another five minutes of silence, Cane spoke. “I should get to work…”

“Yeah, I should get some sleep.”

“You can call me for anything, Bellissima. Even if you just want someone to talk to.”

“I know.”

“Good night.”

“Good night.” I wanted to hear him say he loved me even if I didn’t say it back. I wanted to feel his love wrap around me, to make me feel safe in this foreign land. I felt like I was on a different planet, walking the surface with aliens rather than people.

“I love you.” He hung up immediately, cutting the line before I had the chance to say anything back—or to say nothing back.

And I knew that was why he did it.

Chapter 23

Cane

After my drinking incident, I steered clear of booze.

It was too soon to trust myself around it.

When I went out with those guys in Florence, I’d just wanted a distraction so I would stop thinking about Adelina. If a woman flirted with me and wanted sex, I was going to do it so I could drown my sorrow in someone else.

But when the women came up to me, I didn’t take the bait.

I didn’t want them.

Women used to cure my other sicknesses, but now it wasn’t effective. So I turned to alcohol instead and drank way too much. I got so drunk that I still don’t remember most of that night. I didn’t even remember getting behind the wheel to drive home. I didn’t remember getting pulled over. I didn’t remember my brother taking me home.

It was pathetic.

I didn’t see Crow for a week because I knew he wasn’t joking.

He didn’t want to look at my face.

I completely understood. I didn’t want to look at my face much either.

When I walked into the winery that day, I felt weak and hopeless. I’d just spoken to Adelina, but that didn’t uplift me. It hurt that she was unhappy. It hurt me that people treated her like a victim rather than the badass woman she was. It bothered me that she didn’t feel like she belonged there anymore.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want her to give up and come back.

But I also wanted her to be happy.

It was the first unselfish moment I’d ever had, and that made me feel worse. It made me realize I truly loved this woman from the bottom of my heart. My love for her was selfless, real, and deep. I treated her the way Crow treated Pearl—like she was the only thing that mattered.

The realization created a powerful wave of sadness.

I walked into the warehouse and struggled to focus on what I was supposed to do. My mind kept flicking back to Adelina, imagining her lying in her bed all alone. She was doing that right now, probably still thinking about me.

I told her I loved her and didn’t care if she wouldn’t say it back.

I wanted her to know I still loved her just as much—even if the rest of the world just saw her as entertainment.

Crow walked inside a few minutes later, wearing a black suit. The atmosphere around his body was still slightly hostile, and I knew it would be that way for a while until he truly forgave me for what I did.

Right now, I didn’t really care.

Crow talked about the shipments going out that afternoon, giving me a refresher even though I hadn’t forgotten anything. It’d only been a week. All I’d been doing during that time was thinking about Adelina and the fact that I wasn’t working because my brother didn’t want to see my face.

I nodded along without really caring.

Crow eyed me suspiciously, knowing my mind was elsewhere. “What’s up?”

“Adelina just called me when I pulled up.” I grabbed the shipping information from the clipboard then checked the serial numbers against the barrels.

“She did?” Crow came to my side and grabbed the clipboard from my hand. “What did she say?”

“It’s been hard for her to adjust. People see her as entertainment.”

“Because her story was all over the news?”

I nodded.

“She’s not loving it. Feels a little lost.”

“Did she say she wants to come back?” he asked.

“No…” I’d been hoping to hear that, but it never came. I wasn’t going to push her in any direction. If she wanted to come back, she had to make that decision on her own.

“But she hates it there?”

“She didn’t say she hated it. She just doesn’t love it.”

Crow set the clipboard off to the side. “You need to go get her, Cane.”

“What?”

“Go get her,” he repeated. “You let her go because that’s what she wanted. But now she told you it’s not working out like she thought. That means you need to go there and remind why she needs to come back. That’s your woman—so go get her.”

“That’s the exact opposite of what you told me to do in the first place.”