“What about before we met?”
She wriggled her nose. “I enjoyed responding to outrageous letters written by impudent lords.”
He smiled.
Phoebe moved a few steps closer. “Do you have a sudden curiosity to learn more about me?”
“More like a powerful hunger.”
Her eyes widened, as if the notion startled her, then she smiled widely. “I led a very restrained life, as expected of the daughter of a duke. From the age of six years old, I had several tutors and governesses. I…I did not enjoy the privilege of being outdoors much, and since I’ve been here, I’ve learned that I love the feel of the grass against my bare toes, the rustling of the wind as it whips my dress around my legs, the feel of the rain as it falls against my skin, the sound of the birds, the whistle of the wind down the mountains and through the trees. I think before I was caged…and now…” She laughed lightly, a bit wistfully. “Now, through my disgrace, I have found the joy of life.”
He thought of the days when she would go out onto the lawns, her feet bare, and simply lift her face to the sky and smile. Even yesterday she had done it, and he had stood in the very window watching her, craving something he did not fully understand. She had lifted a hand and beckoned him out, and Hugh had gone, stood beside her, and they had sky gazed for an inordinate amount of time.
Her softly whispered, “Beautiful,” had been the only word spoken between them before he had gone back to overseeing his duties. Hugh resolved then to construct her own special garden and parklands, with all the flowers and birds she loved.
“What is the scariest thing you’ve ever done?”
“When I was fifteen and my brother lay dying from a fever, I snuck outside in the night with only Sarah to inform the woman he loved that she needed him. I did not care that I might encounter footpads or terrifying creatures.”
He had already known of her courage but this… Admiration filled him in a great rush. “Tell me more.”
She arched a brow before tapping her cheek thoughtfully. “I love music, especially the pianoforte. There was a time I spent hours each day playing.”
“What about your friends?”
“I never made many,” she said softly, her eyes searching his face intently. “I only had one season, and most of the girls my age found it more appropriate to view me as a competitive enemy as they tried to capture the attention of society’s most eligible bachelors. Do you have a trusted friend and confidant?”
“No.”
“That is it, a mere no?”
“I never quite fitted in anywhere. My studies were done here with tutors renowned for their skills in sign language.”
Her eyes were soft with sorrow. “You did not indulge in those pursuits many young lords of the ton partake in?”
What was it that she thought those gentlemen did? “Such as?”
Her eyes sparked with challenging humor. “Racing, the mistresses, the exclusive gentleman’s clubs, gambling, living lavish and extravagant off their inheritance?”
“I was never invited to take part in any of those here. Nor in Edinburgh whenever I visited our business interests there. But those occupations would never have appealed to my senses even if I had been invited.”
A secret smile hovered on her lush mouth as she took another step closer.
His hands lifted slowly as he considered the unique puzzle of his wife. “I wonder…”
“What do you wonder?”
“You make my heart beat faster by being close to me.” The surprise of that discovery went through him like a violent jolt.
That confession had her gripping the edges of her gown.
“I wonder if it is the same for you, or am I alone in this strange madness?”
Her gaze softened. “Yes, it is the same for me.”
He experienced a moment of pleasure and uncertainty. At his lack of response, she asked, “Does my closeness makes you think of kissing me?”
“I would astonish myself if I did not crave your lips upon mine.”