Because nothing else explains the way he just dropped off the face of the earth right before graduation. One second we were in love, and the next, he didn’t exist anymore. My whole heart was ripped in two, and I could hardly stand to be in Sweetheart without him. Even the name of the town sounded like a mockery to me.
It took me years to accept that it had happened. And even then, I still wanted to know what the hell I had done to earn that sort of treatment. He had held my hands on prom night and told me that he loved me. And then, he was gone.
But where? And why?
In the years since then, I have pondered that question a lot. Sure that there must be an answer to it that I just couldn’t quite make out. And yeah, maybe, if I’m being honest with myself, that got in the way of opening myself up to other men. Because the thought of allowing other men into my life when they might also hurt me like that – no, not a chance in hell.
I don’t want to fall in love again. Not until I understand what happened to send Baxter running from me like his ass was on fire.
And now, the rumors are telling me that he’s back in town. And I have to find out just how much truth there is to them. I don’t care what it takes, if I get my hands on him, I’m going to discover what he was hiding from me back then. I am going to find out what drove him away from me all those years ago.
I fluff up my hair, freshly dyed at Liv’s salon with blonde highlights, and give myself a serious look in the mirror.
It’s time to do this. Once and for all.
One way or another, I’m going to find the truth.
And I’m not leaving Sweetheart until I do.
2
Baxter
My car crosses the threshold into the Sweetheart city limits, and I wonder what the fuck I am doing here.
It’s been so long since I was last here that it takes me a second to remember the way to Jordan’s place. He doesn’t know I’m coming, but I need somewhere to crash, and this seems like the best way to go about it. Just for a night or two. Until this reunion is over. And until I can make amends to Bailey for what I did to her all those years ago.
Shit, that is if she will even want to talk to me again. If she laughs in my face and tells me to go fuck myself, I won’t blame her. I ghosted her, after all.
But she needs to know that I didn’t choose to leave her behind.
I did it to protect her.
And now that I am finally in control of my life, I don’t have to worry about that any longer.
This reunion is hardly the shit I would have bothered with if it hadn’t been for her. As much as I cared about many people in Sweetheart, I had to turn my back on all of it, and I’ve managed to, almost completely – except when it comes to her. And all the memories of her that are still embedded into the hard drive of my head.
I pull the car to a halt outside Jordan’s place, gather myself. He’s not expecting me. He’s probably going to be mad that I just turned up out of the blue, but honestly, I can’t worry about that right now. I need people to know that I’m back. And I need to make sure that the news gets to Bailey somehow.
She’s probably in town now. The thought of her being so close to me is enough to make my hands sweat. I spotted her comment on the Facebook post about the Sweetheart High School reunion a few months ago, and as soon as I saw her name in text, I felt a jolt of energy run through me. I had to see her. I have to see her.
I climb out of the car and head up the little path that leads to Jordan’s door. I hesitate for a moment before I knock, wondering if there is still time to find a hotel in this place, but I know that I’ll have to drive to the other side of the county to find one.
And besides, a moment later, the decision is taken from me. The door springs open in front of me, and, right there before me, Jordan Francis stands with his jaw hanging open and his eyes bugging out of his head.
"Baxter?" he demands. "Baxter Ryder?”
"That’s me," I reply, and he shakes his head, looks me up and down as though he can’t believe that I’m really here.
"After you called the other day asking for a place to crash, I thought for sure you’d back out, but here you are, in the flesh..." He trails off, clearly in too much shock to put everything he wants to tell me into words. "Come on, come in. We need to talk."