“I’m not meaning to. There’s just something up with me that I need to figure out.”
“Bullshit, baby. We took vows, and those vows were for better or for worse. And you’re withholding something I need. Something that is vital to me.” He kisses my forehead again, being so soft and gentle with me—so unlike him.
“What?”
“You, Scar. I need my wife back, and I know I haven’t put in the effort to tell you that in the right way.”
God. I’m such a drag of a wife.
“It’s not that. Something feels off within me, and I’ve been unintentionally taking it out on you. And that’s my mess, not yours.”
He looks me over, and I see the moment an idea storms his mind.
“What?”
“Marry me,” Gideon says as if he’s just telling me the weather forecast.
“What?” I chuckle, thinking he’s trying to make light of the heavy.
“Marry me again. Let’s start over.”
“Gideon, you already spent a fortune on our wedding, and we don’t need to do that. I’ll figure out my shit—”
He cuts me off. “That wedding was for your mother. Not you and me. We were just her Barbie and Ken dolls at her beck and call.”
“So… what? We plan another one but do it our way?” Entertaining the idea, I look at him wide-eyed.
“Not a big one. We can go to the Cupid’s Wedding Chapel next Saturday. You, me, and the kids. And we declare our love for each other with the ones who actually matter.”
My heart nearly leaps from my chest. Gideon wants to fix us so badly, when I’m the one who should be doing the work, since I’m the problem.
“A true Vegas-style wedding?” I laugh.
“Yeah, just no Elvis.” He shakes his head with a grimace, and I laugh again, my heart pounding with so much joy and hope. I haven’t felt this confident in a long while, and Gideon is doing everything he can to make me happy. How is this my life, and how could I have so much doubt in such a perfect man?
“I’ll marry you again. I’d do it a hundred times over,” I whisper, wrapping my arms and legs around his body and pulling him in for a kiss. His large palms take up my whole face as he controls the kiss that intensifies by the second. I begin to grind against him. My body and soul missing their other half.
He nips and bites, licks and sucks, and I do the same. Using his abs for my own pleasure, I grind over and over, and I already feel the orgasm coming it’s been so long. But just like he knows, I need him to tell me to come, or I won’t be able to.
“You can come, baby. Let go.”
“Yes, sir,” I hiss, and I throw my head back as he licks and sucks on my neck. Using the back of my hand, I bite down to stifle my moan.
“Goddamn, that was beautiful.”
My core is still throbbing as I come down. “After we take the kids to your mom’s, I’ll return the favor.”
“No you won’t.”
My heart sinks, thinking he is accusing me of saying I’ll do it but will back out later—like I have done in the past—I drop my head in shame. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have promised you all those—”
“Shhh,” he stops me, placing his pointer finger over my lips. “It’s not that, Scar. I want our renewal to be special, and that means a wedding night for my beautiful, sinful, outrageously sexy wife.”
Now that has me blushing crimson.
“What a gentleman,” I tease.
“Yes. I have to try to be, seeing as I basically stripped you of that right off the bat,” he concedes, referring to our first time.
“That was the best way to lose my virginity, to give myself to you. It was beautiful.” I see us in a brief passing glance of my mind’s eye, orgasming together with whispered I love yous.
“I’d never seen an angel in the flesh until that day you bared yourself completely to me,” he says sweetly, rubbing my cheek, and I lean into the soft touch.
“And I had never been touched by a god,” I return to my husband.
This day started terribly, and now it feels like a new dawn, a different day—hell, even a different year, and slowly the troubles, the nasty jealousy and insecurities, fade to the back of my mind, leaving the rest of it filled with Gideon-induced endorphins.
“Gideon?” I say his name, making sure he hears me clearly.
“Yes, love?”
“I love you, and I want this for us. I want us back to the way we were… but better. This growing old with you and only getting closer is all I want.”
“Fuck, baby. You are so goddamn perfect. Kiss me, and then let’s take the day to spend with the kids. I miss my babies.” Biting my lip, I lean in halfway, and we share a gentle touch.