‘You’re making sure I pay for my mistakes, though, aren’t you?’ he shot back. It was suddenly apparent that his coolness was a fac¸ade. Underneath Sam was furiously angry. ‘You could have walked out. There was never any question of me holding you to your contract; you knew that. But no, you have to be there every day, Miss Sweet Serenity with a heart of stone. Even when you’re not there,’ he continued in a driven voice, ‘I can smell your perfume—’
He broke off with a violent epithet. He was breathing heavily as he raked a hand through his thick wavy hair and glared at her. It was obvious his outburst hadn’t been intentional and he clearly regretted it.
Her head was spinning. Not for a second had she suspected he felt that way. She had been under the impression that she had been the only one going through purgatory for the past two weeks. Yet his words and his whole attitude made it very clear the experience hadn’t been easy for him. Not by so much as a flicker had he ever given any hint of it, she thought incredulously.
‘I—I didn’t know,’ she faltered.
He laughed. It wasn’t a pleasant sound and she winced. ‘All women know when a man wants her and I want you.’ The way he said the word made her shudder. It was humiliating to experience an unmistakable searing thrill of arousal in response to his low, husky statement. Anger welled up within her and there was no external target for it, only her own weakness.
‘Oh, I don’t want to,’ Sam continued, unknowingly echoing her own sentiments. ‘But it seems that for the moment I have no choice. Discovering you don’t either is a small consolation.’
‘I…I don’t…’
‘Let’s not get fatuous, Rosalind.’ His incisive voice sliced through her faltering denial. ‘I’ve just held you in my arms. I’ve felt the way your body throbbed with need—need for me. You’re as hooked as any drug addict.’
She wanted to deny it, but what was the point? She swallowed and licked her dry lips. ‘I despise you.’ Her voice throbbed with sincerity.
‘Not as much as I do.’ The self-derision in his eyes confused her even further. ‘I despise myself for believing you were the first woman I’d ever met I could be myself with. I despaired of ever finding someone like that—how deliciously ironic! When I make mistakes I do it big! One day I expect you’ll find that whiter-than-white guy of your dreams. Though I doubt very much he’ll be able to make you feel like this…’ He reached over and placed his hands around her bare midriff.
The unexpected action drove the breath from her lungs in one audible gasp. ‘Let me go!’
‘If I do, maybe I’ll never get you out of my system,’ he murmured consideringly. His splayed fingers pushed into the softness of her flesh. Not hard enough to hurt, but pain would have been preferable to the sensations the friction sent sliding deep into the pit of her stomach. He bent closer and she could smell the musky odour of his body, feel the warmth of his breath on her cheek.
‘Don’t be ridiculous, Sam. If you think you can scare me…’ Her laugh lacked the ring of authenticity.
‘I want to make love to you with my eyes open.’
He always had kept his eyes open, she recalled. He’d seemed to get pleasure from watching her. A slow flush mounted her cheeks and the heat slowly spread over her body. Sam felt it and a smile spread over his features. It didn’t soften his expression, not unless hawks waiting to pounce looked soft, she reflected.
‘I didn’t mean that literally,’ he returned, examining the hazy, half-focused expression in her eyes. ‘Although that scenario has its attractions.’ The rasp in his voice was a smoky invitation. ‘I meant I want to make love to Rosalind Lacey, a judgemental woman with no tolerance of weakness. You’re the sort of person who bandies words like ‘‘principles’’ and ‘‘responsibilities’’ a lot.’ Each barb in his words burrowed deep into her skin. ‘You’re so smug it makes me sick. I used to think you were the medicine I needed.’ His expression made it clear he’d recovered from this conviction. ‘We’re talking catharsis here.’
She began to struggle and Sam made no effort to restrain her. ‘We!’ she spat at him. ‘You’re the one doing all the talking.’ Breathing hard, she buttoned her shirt with trembling fingers. It was temper that was making her shake, she told herself, and she had plenty of reasons to be angry!
‘I can see you’re the victim of my irrational behaviour.’ She snorted sarcastically. ‘If it’s a sin to choose not to sleep with a man capable of discarding a young girl and denying his own child, I’m guilty as charged.