“Do they know?” He inclined his head toward the building, and even that renewed the pounding at his temples. Maybe he should take a painkiller anyway. It might dull the embarrassment and frustration of not knowing who “they” were.
She squeezed his hand and let it go, then shoved hers into her pocket. He missed the feel of her skin on his instantly and almost reached for her but recognized the wisdom in not appearing too intimate in public.
“Thomas called me yesterday after your lawyer gave him the heads-up that you were back,” she said. “But I didn’t tell him anything other than to confirm it was true, which was all he asked. I didn’t know how much you’d planned to divulge.”
“Thanks.” He didn’t know, either, but the truth would likely come out soon enough when Antonio stepped inside and had to be led around his own building like a blind person.
“Antonio.” She hesitated for a moment. “I’ve been trying to shield you from the media, but you should know that coming to Falco is probably going to trip their radar. You should be prepared for a full onslaught at any time.”
A crush of people, cameras, microphones, babbling. The chants of “Falco, Falco, Falco.” The montage was the clearest yet of elements from his past. The memory washed over him, or rather it was a blend of several memories bleeding together, of him leaving the ring to follow his manager as Rick pushed through the crowd.
With the images came the expected renewed headache. The increased pounding and pressure wasn’t so difficult to deal with if it came with new memories. But it was a brutal trade-off.
“I...” He’d been about to say he was used to reporters and cameras. But then he realized. The media wouldn’t be interviewing him about his latest bout with Ramirez or Fuentes. He wasn’t a fighter anymore.
Instead, the media would ask him painful questions, like, “Why don’t you remember your wife?” and “What did you do for a whole year while you were gone?”
They might even ask him something even more difficult to answer, like, “How does it feel to find out you’re a father after all this time?” Would the media want to crack open his life and take pictures of his children? He didn’t want the babies exposed to anyone who didn’t necessarily have their best interests at heart.
Caitlyn had been shielding him from the media. As if she wanted to protect him. It snagged a tender place inside, and he had no idea what to do with that.
“I shouldn’t have come here,” he muttered and turned to climb back into the Range Rover.
Fight or flight. The more he delved into his past, the more appropriate the name Falco became. Seemed as if Antonio was constantly poised to use his talons or his wings, and he didn’t like it. But he had no idea how to change it, how to achieve a happy medium where he dealt with life in a healthy way.
“Wait.”
Caitlyn stopped him with a warm hand on his shoulder and the area under her palm tingled. Did all women affect him so greatly, or just this one?
Aggravated because he couldn’t remember, Antonio moved out of her reach but paused before sliding into the passenger seat.
“I wasn’t trying to talk you out of going inside,” she said, concern lacing her tone. Enough so that he turned to face her. “This is important to you, and I think you need to do it. Five minutes. We’ll walk around, say hello and then leave. The press won’t have time to congregate in that length of time if you’d prefer not to be accosted.”
“And then what?” he asked far more sharply than he’d intended, but she didn’t flinch. “The hurdles will still be there tomorrow and the next day.”
And he didn’t just mean the press. All at once, the uphill battle he faced to reclaim his memories, coupled with the constant physical pain, overwhelmed him.
“That will be true whether you take this step or not.” She held out her hand for him to clasp, as if she’d known exactly what he needed.
Without hesitation, he slid his hand into hers and held it, wordlessly absorbing her energy and spirit, and it calmed him instantly. Miraculously.
“Walk with me.” She pulled him away from the car and shut the door. “I’ll do all the talking. If you want to spar with someone, the training facility is adjacent to the administrative offices. I’m sure one of the guys would indulge you in a round. There’s always a ton of people either in the rings or strength training on the gym equipment.”
“How do you know so much about my company?” he asked as he let her lead him toward the door, his pulse hammering in his temples. From nerves, trauma, the silky-sweet scent of Caitlyn? He couldn’t tell. Maybe it was all three.