"Jane?"
"Sure, sure. Of course. What the hell is going on with you guys? What's the big danger Sophie's in? Why are you being spooky like this? And why didn't you call earlier, you fucker?"
"I was up all night doing stuff. Then I took two of those sleeping pills you gave me. Suddenly twelve hours are gone. "
"You took two? Never take two. "
"Yeah, thanks," Charlie said. "Anyway, I'm sure I'll be okay, but if for some reason I'm not, you need to take Sophie and get out of the City for a while. I mean like up in the Sierras. I also sent you a letter explaining everything, as much as I know, anyway. Only open it if something happens, okay?"
"Nothing better happen, you fuck. I just lost Mom, and I - why the hell are you talking like this, Charlie? What kind of trouble are you in?"
"I can't tell you, Jane. You have to trust me that I didn't have any choice in the matter. "
"How can I help?"
"By doing exactly what you're doing, taking care of Sophie, keeping her safe, and keeping the hellhounds with her at all times. "
"Okay, but nothing better happen to you. Cassie and I are going to get married and I want you to give me away. And I want to borrow your tux, too. It's Armani, right?"
"No, Jane. "
"You won't give me away?"
"No, no, it's not that, I'd pay her to take you, it's not that. "
"Then you don't think that gay people should be allowed to get married, is that it? You're finally coming clean. I knew it, after all - "
"I just don't think that gay people should be allowed to get married wearing my tux. "
"Oh," Jane said.
"You'll wear my Armani tux and I'll have to rent some piece of crap or buy something new and cheap, and then I'll go through eternity looking like a total dork in the wedding pictures. I know how you guys like to show wedding pictures - it's like a disease. "
"By 'you guys,' you mean lesbians?" Jane said, sounding very much like a prosecuting attorney.
"Yes, I mean lesbians, dumbfuck," said Charlie, sounding very much like a hostile witness.
"Oh, okay," Jane said. "It is my wedding, I guess I can buy a tux. "
"That would be nice," Charlie said.
"I'm sort of needing the pants cut a little looser in the seat these days anyway," Jane said.
"Thatta girl. "
"So you'll be safe and give me away. "
"I'll sure try. You think Cassandra will let me bring the little Jewish kid?"
Jane laughed. "Call me every hour," she said.
"I won't do that. "
"Okay, when you can. "
"Yeah," Charlie said. "Bye. " He smiled to himself and rolled out of bed, wondering if this might be the last time he would ever do that. Smile.
Charlie showered, ate a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich, and put on a thousand-dollar suit for which he had paid forty bucks. He limped around the bedroom for a few minutes and decided that his leg felt pretty good and he could do without the foam walking cast, so he left it on the floor by the bed. He put on a pot of coffee and called Inspector Rivera.