Since Lucille was the closest person to him that I knew I was all set to use her to get what I want, to push harder and dig deeper to get her to open up more than she has in the past, and now she springs this on me.
Donna
* * *
I rushed toward the door but it was too late. Her car was already pulling out of the driveway. What did she mean she was needed? She’d been retired when I hired her and the only family she’d ever worked for was Gage’s as far as I’d learned.
I know Gage uses a service to clean his home these days, but now that I think about it, why had Lucille taken the job when I offered if Gage still needed her services? Something wasn’t right. What could be possibly…?
“No, it can’t be!” I dropped onto the nearest chair as a pain unlike any I’ve ever known hit me in the gut. Could she really be pregnant? That day when she made that crack I hadn’t taken it too seriously. Maybe because I didn’t want to hear it.
The thought of Gage having a child with her, sharing something that intimate with anyone else but me was just something I didn’t want to face. “No, I’m overthinking, it has to be something else.” I rushed upstairs to get dressed. I’m not going to learn anything by sitting around here.
My hands shook and I felt sick to my stomach as I got dressed. It was so bad that I had to stop a time or two and take deep breaths to quell the nerves in my gut. Why did it suddenly feel like everything was falling apart?
Since the day I left L.A. with my aunt’s money I haven’t had a moment like this. I thought I’d left that all behind me, that feeling of inadequacy. I’d made myself into this person so that I never had to lose out on anything ever again. So why is it that the one thing I’ve wanted more than anything else seems suddenly out of my reach?
All these months while Gage was playing hard to get I never once doubted that I’d have my way in the end. I’d made it my business to learn everything about his wife and knew enough to know that she was no competition as far as I was concerned.
Women lose their husbands everyday to more deserving women, so why should she be any different? But a child might change things. Gage strikes me as the type of man who’d stand by her just because she had his brat.
I rushed through my makeup and ran down the stairs and out the door to my car. Wait, what day is it? I tapped my fingers against the steering wheel as I got my bearings. She has a tennis lesson today, the club. I put the car in drive and sped down the long driveway to my destination.
All the way there my heart beat sickeningly in my chest. What will I do if it turns out that she is indeed pregnant? Should I back off and turn my attention elsewhere? Who else in this town is worthy of me? I haven’t been able to find anyone, not even among the men I’d shared my charms with while my husband was still alive.
I’d had to pay off a few of them to keep their mouths shut after Cedric’s death when it came out that his offspring were trying to contest the will. I’m not quite sure about the law when it comes to him being dead and the truth about my infidelity coming out after the fact when it pertains to the prenuptial agreement we’d had, but I wasn’t taking any chances.
There’s no way I’ll ever go back to any of them, but they’re still good for an afternoon fuck when I get the itch. In fact I’d given the bartender and the tennis coach a few afternoons of mind blowing sex in the last week once I dragged myself out of bed.
But that was more to reassure myself that I still have it, that I’m still attractive to the opposite sex and hadn’t lost my touch. The thing with the coach was also new. Since I never had any real interest in the game, I never paid it or him any mind, not even as a way to get close to someone else who knew her.
But that day I’d wanted something of hers as silly as it seems now. It’s not like they have a relationship beyond the court, but he was someone she was in contact with, another one of her sycophants who sings her praises.
I looked down at my lightweight turquoise summer suit with the skirt that came to just above my knees while the short jacket left a deep valley between my cleavage that was barely covered by the lace tank beneath and too late realized that I should’ve dressed for the court even though I didn’t have a lesson scheduled. At least it would’ve given me an excuse for being there, but it couldn’t be helped now.