“She was?” She hadn’t told me that. I braved looking at Jake. If I had to listen to her complaining, I should at least hear her decisions.
“I guess he’s okay,” Jake said. “He didn’t badmouth Tiffany after they broke up. And from what I heard, she deserved it.”
“So you’re okay with them going out?” I asked, examining his eyes as if I could read the truth. I hadn’t thought he would be.
He shrugged. “It’s just weird. You know. Everything’s been the same for so long. Now, it’s all changing.”
We’d been buds for a while, but I didn’t think we’d ever had a conversation on our own that lasted this long. Luckily, the homeroom teacher hadn’t told the class to be quiet yet. “Like what?” I asked. “Besides Anya?”
Jake looked down at his desk. “Well, my mom broke up with her boyfriend. And she’s seeing some other guy.”
His mom’s boyfriend had lived with them, so it must be almost like a divorce. “Weren’t they together for like, forever?”
“Since I was five,” he said. “Now she’s met some kind of nuclear physicist or something.”
“What?” My breath caught, and not in a good way. The only nuclear physicist I knew was my father. But fate couldn’t be that cruel.
“Yeah, she’s all into this guy, John.” He didn’t sound happy.
“John Miller?” I winced, mentally banging my head on the desk because I already knew the answer. Fate could be that cruel.
“Yeah,” he said. His brow jerked up as he realized that was my last name. “He’s not related is he?”
“Oh, we’re related all right.” I sighed. “He’s my dad.”
His eyes widened. “No way is my mom dating your dad.”
I groaned. “You’d think it was impossible, but here we are.”
“I thought Anya said your dad left your mom for his secretary?”
“Lab assistant,” I corrected. I still hadn’t come to terms with that betrayal. “And she dumped him. So he’s moved on.”
“To my mother.” He clenched his jaw. “Your dad sounds like—”
I interrupted him before he could make me mad. “Just pretend he’s not my dad, and think what you want. I really don’t claim him anymore. Except every other weekend.” Dad was totally screwing up my life.
I didn’t think I could even share this with my mom. She probably couldn’t handle it. I probably couldn’t even handle it.
Jake shifted in his seat. “So when my mom runs around getting ready for her date, she’s trying to look hot for your” —he gulped— “dad?”
I just smiled. I mean sometimes you either laugh or cry. I really, really wanted to laugh. Because crying sucked.
***
At lunch, Anya, dressed to the nines in a new funky jacket and chunky jewelry, had no trouble laughing at my latest Dad woes. “Oh my God! That’s just hilarious!”
Thankfully, most of our friends had gone outside to eat. I tried to chew my sandwich. It tasted like sand. Dry, dirty sand.
“Of all the people for your father to date. He has to date Jake’s mom.” She completely cracked up. “Jake is going to hate his guts.”
At least no one could hear us over the noise in the cafeteria. “I think he already does.”
Anya had no trouble plowing through her lunch despite the fact that the chicken sandwich smelled like a cat litter pan. My stomach obviously couldn’t handle the stress.
“At least this works out well for you.” She bit into her sandwich again.
“How’s that exactly?” Maybe I was missing something.
She held up her hand and swallowed. “Well, you already know Jake’s mom is cool. So you don’t have to worry about some horrid girlfriend.” She popped some M&M’s in her mouth.
Anya knew all about my stepmonster fears. “I like his mom,” I said, propping my chin in my hand, “and now I have to watch her with my dad. That’s not good. My dad isn’t good enough for her.” Dad couldn’t be trusted.
“Well, that’s true,” Anya agreed.
“He’ll either bug the crap out of her or dump her. And it’s not like I can warn her. She’ll think I’m just being obnoxious.” I forced the lump of sandwich down with some water and gave up on my lunch.
“Maybe your mom can pick you up early,” Anya suggested. “Shopping might help.”
We’d done lots of shopping after the divorce. “I don’t think I’m even going to tell her. Plus, she’s at the hospital rocking sick babies.”
“Your mom is such a good person,” Anya said, clearly impressed. “She works all the time, and then when she has a vacation, she donates her time. She’s really something.”
She was something all right. If Anya knew the whole story, she might not be so complimentary. “She’s a better person than Dad,” I compromised.
Anya’s icy blue eyes, courtesy of contact lenses, widened with pity. “Poor Jake,” she said. “Maybe I should call him.”
Of course, I thought. What could be more perfect than Anya and Jake getting back together because of my dad?
***
When I got out of school, I fo
und four text messages from Milo on my cell phone. He really needed to work on that whole patience thing.
Milo used his spells to work on feeding the homeless. He’d never admitted to using any spells on animals. Although, his guinea pig had been alive for eight years. Either he was using the potion, or his mom and dad had been replacing him at regular intervals. I wasn’t sure which was more likely.
He’d only been waiting a week. But he knew the results were coming today, and he was apparently freaking out.
Milo had discovered a way to combine spells and multiply objects, including cans of food, by ten. His goal was to help the poor. A month ago, he’d managed the spell. But it had taken a while to get my dad in touch with his old chemist pal who could evaluate the nutritional value of the food. We were a little fearful that the multiplication process robbed the vegetables of some nutrients. Milo really didn’t want to feed vegetables with fewer nutrients to the poor. They had enough problems already.
The fourth text message indicated that Milo was coming a little unglued. He’d spelled two of the words wrong. Since there were only four in each message, two was a lot. Milo, the champion speller, had messed up half the words in “R they there yet?” He’d written “S the there yet?”
I turned the power off on the phone. No way was I talking to him until I had the results. And they’d better be good.
***
After the bus let me off at my stop, I turned the phone on again. I hated feeling cut off from the world.
I found a text from my dad. He had the results for Milo. He’d emailed them to me. I didn’t pull them up on my phone. Instead, I unlocked the house and ran up to my room. The results were great. Milo’s spell worked like, well, a charm. He’d turned one can of vegetables into ten and hadn’t lost any of the nutritional value.
I pressed “2” on my cell and waited for it to dial Milo.
“Do you have them?” He sounded so anxious.
“Of course, I do. Otherwise, I’d still be dodging your calls.”
“Tell me.”
Overlooking the possible rude factor wasn’t hard. I knew he was excited. “Okay, Okay. They were perfect. The potatoes, the carrots, and the beans. They all had the right vitamins, fiber, everything.”