"The Daily Punctilio!" cried the woman who was with him. "How exciting! I've been reading about those Baudelaire murderers for weeks. I just love violence!"
"Who doesn't?" the man replied. "Especially when it's combined with sloppy eating."
Just as the Baudelaires reached the fortune-telling tent, a man stepped in front of them and blocked their way. The children looked up at the pimples on his chin and recognized him as the very rude member of the audience at the House of Freaks.
"Why, look who's here," he said. "It's Chabo the Wolf Baby, and Beverly and Elliot, the two-headed freak."
"It's very nice to see you again," Violet said quickly. She tried to walk around him, but he grabbed the shirt she was sharing with her brother, and she had to stop so he wouldn't tear the shirt and reveal their disguise.
"What about your other head?" the pimpled man asked sarcastically. "Doesn't he think it's nice to see me?"
"Of course," Klaus said, "but we're in a bit of a hurry, so if you'll excuse us . . ."
"I don't excuse freaks," the man said. "There's no excuse for them. Why don't you wear a sack over one of your heads, so you look normal?"
"Grr!" Sunny said, baring her teeth at the man's knees.
"Please leave us alone, sir," Violet said "Chabo is very protective of us, and might bite you if you get too close."
"I bet Chabo's no match for a bunch of ferocious lions," the man said. "I can't wait until the show, and neither can my mother."
"That's right, dear," said a woman who was standing nearby. She stepped forward to give the pimpled man a big kiss, and the Baudelaires noticed that pimples seemed to run in the family. "What time does the show start, freaks?"
"The show starts right now!"
The pimpled man and his mother turned around to see who had spoken, but the Baudelaires did not have to look to know it was Count Olaf who had made the announcement. The villain was standing at the entrance to the fortune-telling tent with a whip in his hand and a particularly nasty gleam in his eye, both of which the siblings recognized. The whip, of course, was the one that Count Olaf used to encourage the lions to become ferocious, which the Baudelaires had seen the previous day, and the gleam was something they had seen more times than they could count. It was the sort of gleam someone might get in their eye when they were telling a joke, but when Olaf looked at people that way it usually meant that one of his schemes was succeeding brilliantly.
"The show starts right now!" he announced again to the people gathering around him. "I've just had my fortune told, so I've gotten what I wanted." Count Olaf pointed at the fortune-telling tent with his whip, and then turned around to point at the disguised Baudelaires as he grinned at the crowd. "Now, ladies and gentlemen, it's time to go to the lion pit so we can give the rest of you what you want."
Chapter Ten
"I'm going to the pit right now!" cried a woman in the crowd. "I want to have a good view of the show!"
"So do I," said a man standing next to her. "There's no point in having lions eat somebody if you can't watch it happen."
"Well, we'd better hurry," said the man with pimples on his chin. "There's quite a crowd here."
The Baudelaire orphans looked around and saw that the pimpled man was speaking the truth.
News of Caligari Carnival's latest attraction must have spread far beyond the hinterlands, because there were many more visitors than yesterday, and there seemed to be more and more arriving every minute.
"I'll lead the way to the pit," announced Count Olaf. "After all, the lion show was my idea, so I should get to walk in front."
"It was your idea?" asked a woman the children recognized from their stay at Heimlich Hospital. She was wearing a gray suit, and chewing gum as she spoke into a microphone, and the siblings remembered that she was a reporter from The Daily Punctilio. "I'd love to write about it in the newspaper. What is your name?"
"Count Olaf!" Count Olaf said proudly.
"I can see the headline now: 'COUNT OLAF THINKS UP IDEA FOR LION SHOW,'" said the reporter. "Wait until the readers of The Daily Punctilio see that!"
"Wait a minute," someone said. "I thought Count Olaf was murdered by those three children."
"That was Count Omar," replied the reporter. "I should know. I've been writing about the Baudelaires for The Daily Punctilio. Count Omar was murdered by those three Baudelaire children, who still remain at large."
"Well, if anyone ever finds them," someone in the crowd said, "we'll throw them into the lion pit."
"An excellent idea," Count Olaf replied, "but in the meantime, the lions will have a meal of one delicious freak. Follow me, everyone, for an afternoon of violence and sloppy eating!"
"Hooray!" cried several members of the crowd, as Olaf took a bow and began to lead everyone in the direction of the ruined roller coaster where the lions were waiting.
"Come with me, freaks," Count Olaf ordered, pointing at the Baudelaires. "My assistants are bringing the others. We want all you freaks assembled for the choosing ceremony."
"I will bring them, my Olaf," Madame Lulu said in her disguised accent, emerging from the fortune-telling tent. When she saw the Baudelaires, her eyes widened, and she quickly held her hands behind her back. "You lead crowd to pit, please, and give interview to newspaper on way."
"Oh, yes," said the reporter. "I can see the headline now: 'EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH COUNT OLAF, WHO IS NOT COUNT OMAR, WHO IS DEAD.' Wait until the readers of The Daily Punctilio see that!"
"It will be exciting for people to read about me," Count Olaf said. "All right, I'll walk with the reporter, Lulu. But hurry up with the freaks."
"Yes, my Olaf," Madame Lulu said. "Come with me, freaky peoples, please."
Lulu held out her hands for the Baudelaires to take, as if she were their mother walking them across the street, instead of a fake fortune-teller leading them to a pit of lions. The children could see that one of Madame Lulu's palms had an odd streak of dirt on it, while the other hand was closed in an odd, tight fist. The children did not want to take those hands and walk toward the lion show, but there were so many people gathered around, eagerly expecting violence, that it seemed they had no other choice. Sunny grabbed ahold of Lulu's right hand, and Violet grabbed Lulu's le
ft, and they walked together in an awkward knot in the direction of the ruined roller coaster.
"Olivi — " Klaus started to say, but then looked around the crowd and realized it would be foolish to use her real name. "I mean, Madame Lulu," he corrected himself, and then leaned across Violet to speak as quietly as he could. "Let's walk as slowly as we can. Maybe we can find an opportunity to sneak back to the tent and dismantle the lightning device."
Madame Lulu did not answer, but merely shook her head slightly to indicate that it was not a good time to speak of such matters.
"Fan belt," Sunny reminded her, as quietly as she could, but Madame Lulu just shook her head.
"You kept your promise, didn't you?" Klaus murmured, scarcely above a whisper, but Madame Lulu stared ahead as if she had not heard. He nudged his older sister inside their shared shirt. "Violet," he said, scarcely daring to use her real name. "Ask Madame Lulu to walk more slowly."
Violet glanced briefly at Klaus, and then turned her head to catch Sunny's eye. The younger Baudelaires looked back at their sister and watched her shake her head slightly, just as Madame Lulu had, and then look down, where she was holding the fortune-teller's hand. Between two of Violet's fingers, Klaus and Sunny could see the tip of a small piece of rubber, which they recognized immediately. It was the part of Madame Lulu's lightning device that resembled a fan belt — the very thing Violet needed to turn the carts of the roller coaster into an invention that could carry the Baudelaires out of the hinterlands and up into the Mortmain Mountains. But instead of feeling hopeful as they looked at this crucial item in Violet's hand, all three Baudelaires felt something quite a bit less pleasant.
If you have ever experienced something that feels strangely familiar, as if the exact same thing has happened to you before, then you are experiencing what the French call "déjà vu." Like most French expressions — "ennui," which is a fancy term for severe boredom, or "la petite mort," which describes a feeling that part of you has died — "déjà vu" refers to something that is usually not very pleasant, and it was not pleasant for the Baudelaire orphans to arrive at the lion pit and experience the queasy feeling of déjà vu. When the children had been staying at Heimlich Hospital, they had found themselves in an operating theater, surrounded by a large crowd that was very eager to see something violent occur, such as an operation performed on someone. When the children were living in the town of V.F.D., they had found themselves in a field, surrounded by a large crowd eager to see something violent occur, such as the burning of someone at the stake. And now, as Madame Lulu let go of their hands, the children looked at the enormous and strangely familiar crowd towering over them at the ruined roller coaster. Once again, there were people eager for something violent to happen. Once again, the Baudelaires were afraid for their lives. And once again, it was all because of Count Olaf. The siblings looked past the cheering crowd at the two roller-coaster carts that Violet had adapted. All the invention needed was the fan belt, and the children could continue their search for one of the Baudelaire parents, but as Violet, Klaus, and Sunny looked across the pit at the two small carts joined with ivy and altered to travel across the hinterlands, they felt the queasiness of déjà vu and wondered if there was another unhappy ending in store for them.