The hippo goddess sighed with adoration. “That’s so sweet. I also protected mothers giving birth—”
“Because you’re pregnant?” Carter asked, nodding at her enormous belly.
Tawaret looked mystified. “No. Why would you think that?”
“Um—”
“So!” I broke in. “You were explaining why you take care of aging gods.”
Tawaret checked the sundial, and I was alarmed to see how fast the shadow was creeping toward six. “I’ve always liked to help people, but in the world above, well…it became clear I wasn’t needed anymore.”
She was careful not to look at Bes, but the dwarf god blushed even more.
“Someone was needed to look after the aging gods,” Tawaret continued. “I suppose I understand their sadness. I understand about waiting forever—”
Bes coughed into his fist. “Look at the time! Yes, about Ra. Have you seen him since you’ve been working here?”
Tawaret considered. “It’s possible. I saw a falcon-headed god in a room in the southeast wing, oh, ages ago. I thought it was Nemty, but it’s possible it could have been Ra. He sometimes liked to go about in falcon form.”
“Which way?” I pleaded. “If we can get close, the Book of Ra may be able to guide us.”
Tawaret turned to Bes. “Are you asking me for this, Bes? Do you truly believe it’s important, or are you just doing it because Bast told you to?”
“No! Yes!” He puffed out his cheeks in exasperation. “I mean, yes, it’s important. Yes, I’m asking. I need your help.”
Tawaret pulled a torch from the nearest sconce. “In that case, right this way.”
We wandered the halls of an infinite magic nursing home, led by a hippo nurse with a torch. Really, just an ordinary night for the Kanes.
We passed so many bedrooms I lost count. Most of the doors were closed, but a few were open, showing frail old gods in their beds, staring at the flickering blue light of televisions or simply lying in the dark crying. After twenty or thirty such rooms, I stopped looking. It was too depressing.
I held the Book of Ra, hoping it would get warmer as we approached the sun god, but no such luck. Tawaret hesitated at each intersection. I could tell she felt uncertain about where she was leading us.
After a few more hallways and still no change in the scroll, I began to feel frantic. Carter must’ve noticed.
“It’s okay,” he promised. “We’ll find him.”
I remembered how fast the sundial had been moving at the nurses’ station. And I thought about Vlad Menshikov. I wanted to believe he’d been turned into a deep-fried Russian when he fell into the Lake of Fire, but that was probably too much to hope for. If he was still hunting us, he couldn’t be far behind.
We turned down another corridor and Tawaret froze. “Oh, dear.”
In front of us, an old woman with the head of a frog was jumping around—and when I say jumping, I mean she leaped ten feet, croaked a few times, then leaped against the wall and stuck there before leaping to the opposite wall. Her body and limbs looked human, dressed in a green hospital gown, but her head was all amphibian—brown, moist, and warty. Her bulbous eyes turned in every direction, and by the distressed sound of her croaking, I guessed she was lost.
“Heket’s got out again,” Tawaret said. “Excuse me a moment.”
She hurried over to the frog woman.
Bes pulled a handkerchief from the pocket of his Hawaiian shirt. He dabbed his forehead nervously. “I wondered what had ever happened to Heket. She’s the frog goddess, you know.”
“I never would’ve guessed,” Carter said.
I watched as Tawaret tried to calm down the old goddess. She spoke in soothing tones, promising to help Heket find her room if she’d just stop bouncing off the walls.
“She’s brilliant,” I said. “Tawaret, I mean.”
“Yeah,” Bes said. “Yeah, she’s fine.”
“Fine?” I said. “Clearly, she likes you. Why are you so…”