"Nothing," she lied. "What are you thinking about?"
She hazarded a glance at him and he gave her a sweet smile. "I was thinking about all the weekends I'm going to visit you down at Easton. Wondering where on campus you guys go when you want to be alone."
Ariana's stomach twisted for a million different reasons. Because this was exactly her fear--that Hudson was expecting more. Because she would never actually see Easton again. Because the last person she had sought out secluded campus spots with was dead. And because of what she was going to have to do.
Teo pulled up behind the Jeep Hudson had rented for the summer and killed the engine. Outside the car Ariana clutched Hudson's hand and held him back from following the others inside. He glanced back at her, a question in his eyes.
"We'll catch up," Ariana called after Briana Leigh.
Hudson turned on his heel on the drive, a quizzical look on his face. Ariana looked down at his shoes--perfectly buffed brown loafers--and her heart broke. Could he be any more perfect? Hudson must have sensed what was coming, because he removed his hand from hers. She automatically shoved her fingers under her arms, as if that would somehow replace the warmth of his skin.
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"Hudson, you can't come visit me at Easton," she said, her eyes still trained on the ground.
He shifted his weight. "Why not?"
Ariana made herself look at him. He deserved that much. She forced herself to say the only thing she could think to say. The only thing that might actually keep him away. "Because I have a boyfriend."
Hudson took a step back and bent over slightly, as if he'd been punched in the stomach. His mouth curled into a stunned smile. Like he wanted to laugh at how stupid he felt. "You what?"
"I'm sorry, I... This was just a fling for me," Ariana said, feeling desperate. Feeling as if the lie were the truth. Suddenly, surprisingly, a picture of Daniel Ryan, her sophomore and junior-year boyfriend, flashed through her mind, as if he were the one waiting for her back in Connecticut. Weird. But it made it easier to feel as if she was talking about someone real. "We're actually very serious and I just... I need to end this. Now. Tonight."
Hudson pushed one hand into his hair and looked away, off toward the darkened tennis courts. His expression was incredulous, and Ariana could practically hear his heart breaking. She hated that she had to do this to him and cursed fate for bringing him into her life now. Now, at the one point when she couldn't do this. When she couldn't be with anyone. When she wasn't even anyone.
But she couldn't think about that now. She had one purpose and that was her future. And Hudson could not be part of it. In a few days Emma Walsh as he knew her would cease to exist and she would become Briana Leigh Covington.
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There was simply no good way to explain that to him.
"I don't believe this," Hudson said finally.
Smart guy, Ariana thought."I'm sorry," she said again.
He turned his back to her and she waited, listening to a coyote howling in the distance. The sound reminded her of their night under the stars and her heart clenched painfully. She waited for him to turn on her in anger. To tell her what a bitch she was. To call her a liar and a whore and whatever other choice words he could come up with. To glare at her with betrayed eyes.
But when he looked at her again, her breath caught. The only emotions in his eyes were sadness and longing. He took a step toward her and she didn't even flinch.
"This guy," he said, looking directly into her eyes, "this guy had better be worthy of you."
Ariana was so stunned she couldn't even formulate a thought. Hudson turned and got into his car and drove away, but she just stood there, in the exact same pose, her nails digging into her skin.
You have to start over. You have to start over, she reminded herself as a warm breeze tousled her long hair. But in that brief moment, the idea of starting over totally and completely sucked.
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PURE EVIL
Ariana stood behind Briana Leigh on the tarmac at Love Field Airport as Briana Leigh said good-bye to her grandmother. Ariana wore a black strapless sundress with huge, colorful flowers all over the skirt, her extensions piled up under a floppy straw hat. Neither she nor Briana Leigh wanted Grandma Covington to notice her new hair. Not that the old bat could see three feet in front of he
r, but still. With so much at stake, extra precautions were necessary."Bye, Grandma," Briana Leigh said, bending down to hug the old woman. "You were so right to make me go to school. I don't know what I was thinking. Thank you so much for caring."
Behind her wide sunglasses, Ariana rolled her eyes. Briana Leigh was laying it on a tad thick. Grandma C. was old, but not at all stupid. The matriarch's mouth was twisted into a suspicious frown when Briana Leigh leaned back again.
"What are you up to?" she asked in her raspy voice.
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