Private (Private 1)

of a whole new life.

Laughing and chatting and sipping in the candlelight.

And that was when I saw her. A girl, sitting in a window just like In my entire life, I had never seen anything like these girls. They mine, directly across the way. She was wispy and thin with delicate seemed so much older, and not just older than me—which they obvi-features, smooth pale skin, and light blond hair that fell in loose ously were—but too old to be in high school. Every move they

waves around her tiny shoulders. She looked almost ethereal, like made was graceful and sure. The held their glasses with carefree she could float away at any moment with the help of a light breeze.

assuredness as if they drank from such delicate crystal each and She wore a white tank top and short pajama shorts and seemed riv-every day.

eted on the pages of the book she held in the crook between her This girl, the laugher, had piled her brown hair on top of her

bent legs and her flat stomach. I was so riveted by her that I didn’t head in a messy bun, held there by a pair of chopsticks. She was notice anything moving in her room until another girl swooped in stunningly beautiful, with dark, tan skin and a lithe, athletic figure.

out of nowhere and snatched the book out of her hands. I sat up She flashed a knowing smile, which she prefaced by a narrow, slid-straight, startled, thinking for a split second that the girl had been ing glance at her friends. She wore a red silk robe over a tank top threatened. But then I saw the taller, darker girl twirl the reader and boxers and seemed to live to tease. The second girl was petite, into the room and onto the bed. There she joined two others who with messy, dark blond curls and cheeks like a porcelain doll. She sat, laughing, their bare legs splayed out as they ate from a box of was playful with the others and seemed younger than them, shoving chocolates.

and rolling her eyes and clapping when she laughed. But it was the I turned fully toward the window now, crossing my legs Indian

reader and the dark-haired girl I couldn’t tear my eyes from.

style in front of me and balancing precariously on the windowsill.

The dark-haired girl wore nothing but black underwear and a

Then the lights across the way were doused and my breath caught.

large silk nightshirt, undoubtedly made for a man, with only the two Moments later, a flicker of light. Then another. Then another.

center buttons done. She shook her thick hair back, took a sip of Gradually the room started to glow and the figure of the dark-her wine, and held the novel up to read from it to her friends, ges-haired girl loomed through the dancing shadows as she lit candle turing dramatically with her glass, but never spilling so much as a after candle. Soon the four girls were bathed in the warm light. One drop. All three of them gathered together, rapt with attention at the of them rose and handed out glasses. Large, round glasses with

girl’s performance, and I thought, This girl is the leader. As delicate stems. Each was already filled with deep red liquid.

she continued to read, she placed her glass down and lifted the

28

K A T E B R I A N

ethereal girl’s arm. The girl stood on cue, a slight, far-off smile playing about her lips. The dark-haired girl thrust their hands above her head and the bottom of her shirt fell open, exposing a long, red scar along her stomach, just above her hipbone. I was so startled by this garish imperfection on such a flawless being that I almost looked THE BILLINGS GIRLS

away. But then she stepped breast-to-breast with her friend and the scar was covered and I realized they were dancing. They moved as one, twirling through the shadows and the flickering candlelight. The little cherub reached for her sound dock and acoustic guitar music echoed through the quad, sending a shiver down my spine.

“Billings House? That’s an upperclassmen-only house. And even if The ethereal girl spun out of her friend’s arms toward the

you’re a junior or senior, you have to meet certain requirements to window and suddenly she froze. My heart caught, startled at her get in.”

abruptness, but it took me a good long moment to realize she was

“Requirements?”

staring right at me. I had mistaken her gaze as flighty and un-

“Academic, athletic, service. If you meet their requirements,

focused, but I saw now that it was the exact opposite. She looked you get an invitation from housing at the end of the year. It’s very right through me, around me, all over me, taking in everything and selective. You have to be an integral part of the Easton community turning me inside out. Embarrassed, I looked quickly away,

to live there.”

pretending to be preoccupied by something in the room, but it was Her expression said, “You will never live there.”