“No. You?”
“No.”
I moved ahead, my heart pounding woefully.
“Typical Thomas,” Josh said under his breath.
“What?” I asked.
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“Nothing. It's just . . . you'd think he'd at least let you know where he's going,” he said with maj
or emphasis on the you. So he did know what Thomas and I had done. Or he suspected. Or maybe not. Maybe he just knew I meant a lot to Thomas. At least, I thought I did.
How was it that our relationship was even more confusing without him here than it was when he was around?
“But I should have known,” Josh continued. “He's never been one for thinking of other people.”
I swallowed hard. This morning had already been too much for me to handle. I didn't need to add “picking apart my missing boyfriend” to the list. “Let's talk about something else,” I said.
“Right. Sorry,” he told me with an apologetic smile. “I'm sure he'll call you. Eventually.”
Feeling warm and conspicuous, I glanced around for a new topic.
“So what's all that?” I asked, gesturing at his tray. It was piled even higher than my own two. “Bulking up for winter?”
“Nah. Some of the guys were still hungry, so ...” He shrugged.
“I don't get it,” I said.
“Get what?” he asked, lifting a chocolate-?chip muffin onto the tray.
“Why are you always doing stuff for them? ” I said. “It's not like you have to.”
Like some people.
“I have four younger brothers and sisters and only one older brother, who was allergic to helping out,” he replied, shoving his
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hand into the back pocket of his baggy, paint-?stained jeans as he pushed his tray forward on the slide rail with the other. “I think doing stuff for people is hardwired into my brain.”
I picked up a bowl for cereal. “Ah.”
“Why do you do it?” he asked.
“Uh, they make me,” I said automatically.
Josh eyed me dubiously. “Huh?”
I blinked. He didn't know? He didn't know I was an indentured servant of Billings House? I thought this was public knowledge, this systematic hazing. At least the stuff I'd done before I had moved in had been noticed by others. Dash, in particular, had made it clear that he enjoyed my suffering. How could Josh not know?
“Wait. What're they making you do?” he asked.
Red alert. Flashing lights. Yellow caution tape. If he didn't know, maybe he wasn't supposed to know.
Fuck.