“Sure,” I said, feigning nonchalance. Something told me Ariana would appreciate the show of strength. “What's with Taylor?”
“Oh, she's still not feeling well,” Ariana replied.
“Hangover?” I whispered.
“Among other things.” Ariana sighed. “Taylor gets strep every fall and then is sick on and off all the way through the winter until spring finally springs again. She spends half her time studying in the infirmary. Better get used to it.” She stared off after Taylor's retreating form. “Weak constitution on that girl,” she said almost wistfully. “It's a shame.”
“Oh.” I stared at the ground. Being sick and infirmary-?bound seemed like a fine option to me just then. Maybe I should get Taylor to breathe on me, I thought.
42
'You okay?" Ariana asked me.
“I guess,” I replied.
Even though I wasn't. Even though my body, heart, and soul all ached with a vengeance. Even though I felt as if I could break apart from frustration and confusion. Why couldn't Thomas just call me? Or Josh? Or anyone? Why was he doing this to us?
Was it because the whispers were right? Had something horrible actually happened to him? A chill raced down my back and I squirmed, moving my shoulders around, trying to shake it. Ariana watched every move I made as if each one held the key to my soul.
“So. What are you going to tell them?” Ariana asked, her piercing blue eyes full of pointed concern.
“Who?”
“The police,” Ariana said in a low voice.
I paused. “What do you mean?”
Ariana turned and stepped so close to me I could have counted the pores on her nose if she'd had any. Her skin was as perfect as porcelain.
Porcelain. Toilets. Bile. Ugh.
“I mean, you're Thomas's girlfriend. They're definitely going to ask you a lot of questions,” Ariana said. “You'd better know what you're going to say before you go in there.”
My throat went dry. For a moment I felt like I was completely outside my body. She could not mean what I thought she meant. A cool breeze lifted her white-?blond hair and caused her scarf to dance. Behind her some guy shouted at another. Ariana didn't move or flinch or blink.
43
“Ariana ... I don't know where Thomas is,” I said finally.
Ariana stared into my eyes, searching. Searching so thoroughly that heat started to prickle all over my body. So thoroughly that I found myself wondering if I did have something to hide.
The moment I thought that, Ariana smiled.
“Okay,” she said finally.
“What?”
“Nothing. But if you do want to talk before you go in there, just let me know.”
“Thanks,” I said.
Slowly, Ariana backed away. “I'd better get to class.”
She lifted one shoulder and gave me a small, knowing glance before turning and strolling off. Left alone again, I couldn't help but notice all the stares. Whenever my eyes fell on someone else, they quickly looked away. Whenever I got near anyone, they instantly stopped talking. Was this what it was going to be like for me now? Everyone talking about me all the time and watching my every move? I had known from the moment I arrived at Easton that I didn't just want to disappear among the nobodies, but I had never wanted this.
I checked my watch as I headed across the quad. Ten minute
s left before class. I needed a friendly ear. Someone who could calm me down and remind me why I was here. I dropped onto the nearest bench, pulled out my cell, and dialed my brother, who was miles upon miles away at Penn State. He picked up on the fifth ring.