I pushed my chair back so hard it slammed into Cheyenne's, who was sitting at the next table. Clumsily, I gathered up my bag and coat. One of the wood buttons whacked Cheyenne on the back of the head and she made a big show of how much it hurt. I ignored her.
"I'll see you guys back at Billings."
"Reed-"
I had already turned to go, but I paused and swung around. "I thought you guys were planning a party for Thomas," I said, looking at Dash and Gage. "Why don't you concentrate on that instead of making everybody even more miserable than they already are? "
I turned and stormed out, narrowing my eyes to try to quell the tears as I shoved through the door and into the cold night. The second I hit the pathway, I slammed directly into Josh.
"Reed! Are you okay?" he asked.
He placed his hands on my arms to steady me. The wind blew a few of his blond curls across his forehead. Being so close to him so suddenly brought on another huge rush of emotion that I wasn't sure I could take. I moved aside and sucked in a broken breath.
"I'm fine," I said, pressing the heel of my hand to my forehead.
Breathe in, breathe out. Remember how you felt this morning. How
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you felt before everything caved in again. I'm at the spa. I'm cuddled into that soft, soft robe. I'm lying back in the chair, content.. . .
"I was freaking out all day. Where were you?" Josh demanded.
I blinked at him, confused. Ripped from my reverie before I could fully realize it. Was he angry at me for some reason? "I was with Noelle and them."
"Oh." Josh's face became hard as he stood up straight. "I thought we were going to Boston."
I felt as if someone had just dumped a bucket of water over my head. Josh's brother and his girlfriend. The day of fun in Boston. I had completely forgotten about it, what with being forcibly torn from my bed and everything. My heart squeezed as I noticed the depth of disappointment in Josh's face. This had meant a lot to him, and I had completely blown it off. And even as I realized this, I was touched. Josh really wanted to be with me. Introduce me to his brother. Treat me with that level of importance. Which made my forgetfulness that much worse.
"Josh, I am so sorry," I said. "I completely forgot. Noelle and Kiran woke me up at the crack of dawn and I was half out of it. I'm an idiot."
"It's fine. Really," he said, all aloof. "It's good to know I'm that forgettable."
He turned to go. Guilt overcame me. All I wanted to do was explain.
"Josh, wait," I said, grabbing his arm.
"No, Reed. It's okay. You'd rather spend the day with your
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girlfriends than me. I get it," he snapped. "Message received."
I'd never seen him this angry. Where was this coming from?
"I would not rather spend the day with them than you," I said, desperate. "Believe me."
Josh paused and searched my face. "Yeah?"
"I swear."
Slowly his demeanor relaxed. He rubbed his forehead with his fingertips. "Oh, God. I'm sorry. I was just worried about you. I called you twenty times and I kept getting your voice mail. I was freaking out. I mean, after what happened to Thomas ..."
I felt like I was trying to swallow my heart. Everything was different now, wasn't it? A few unanswered phone calls and one could reasonably assume disappearance and death.
"Josh, I'm really sorry. I didn't think," I said.
"Why didn't you answer your phone?" he asked. The accusation was gone from his voice, replaced by concern. I took a deep breath, glad to have normal Josh back. He was supposed to be the rock around here.