“From what?”
“Bad people,” I replied. Dolly looked down at her doll, then nodded her head. Like she understood.
She always understood me.
But she had no idea of the danger she was in inside this house.
Dolly held her doll tighter. “Rabbit?” she whispered. I looked at her. She was so pretty. “Are you sad now? My heart is telling me you’re very sad.”
I went to shake my head. Went to say no, but when I opened my mouth, I nodded and automatically whispered back, “Yes.”
Tears built in Dolly’s eyes, and she lurched forward and threw her arms around my neck. We never hugged. At least I never hugged her back—she always hugged me. But today I let her hold me for longer than normal. I let her hold on. I didn’t push her away as I normally would when I couldn’t stand to be touched anymore.
I wanted her touch to replace theirs.
“You smell strange,” she said against my neck. “You smell of smoke . . . like my uncles and papa smell.” I closed my eyes and thought of my watch, thought of focusing on the hands moving around the face while it all happened. “I really wish we could escape to Wonderland right now, Rabbit. I . . . I think you need it.” She sighed. I heard the smile on her face as she did. “Think of all the adventures we could have. All the colors we would see and all the people we would meet. If we could only find the rabbit hole in this house . . . There must be one somewhere. A way to escape.”
I breathed in deep and smelled her mama’s rose perfume again. Then I thought of her uncles and her papa. Thought of the kids I had seen being brought in at night in vans. I now knew what for. I didn’t know where those kids came from or who they were. But now Mr. Earnshaw and the uncles had me too . . .
“Rabbit?” Dolly slowly reared back her head. She stared me in the eyes, and I tried to search her gaze. Then, before I could do anything, she moved forward, and suddenly her lips were crushing mine. I froze, not knowing what to do. My head told me to push her off, to get her away from all the fucking pollution that was stuck on my body. Coating every inch. But something in my chest told me to keep her on me. Keep her rose smell and sweet taste there, removing all the bad.
Dolly pulled back, out of breath. Her eyes were wide as she stared into mine. “Rabbit . . .” she whispered and brought her hands up to touch her lips. “I just had to do that . . .” She swallowed. “I couldn’t stand you being so sad anymore. And I just had to kiss you, Rabbit. I just had to . . .”
I didn’t speak. Couldn’t speak. Just felt Dolly all over my lips. Felt Dolly all over my skin. I wanted her back. Wanted her back in my arms. Rubbing her scent on me, letting it seep into my blood and bones.
I hooked my arm around her neck and pulled her into me. It wasn’t long before I felt Dolly’s tears running over the skin on my neck, and I leaned in toward her. She always felt whatever I felt. I always felt whatever she did. Fuck everyone else. It was me and her.
Dolly hugged me tighter, and I promised myself that they would never touch her. I would never let them. They would have me instead. As much of me as they could take. I’d take it to protect her. To keep her this pure. This innocent.
My little Alice in Wonderland.
But if they ever tried to hurt her, to take her from me, I’d kill them all. I didn’t know how or when, but if they ever made her cry or took her the way they took me . . .
. . . I would fucking end them all.
And I knew that I’d enjoy it.
Chapter 3
Ellis
Six months later . . .
“Can you believe it’s my birthday tomorrow, Mrs. Jenkins?” I asked as I came out of the shower. “Ten years old.” I sat down at the vanity and let Mrs. Jenkins rub a towel over my wet hair.
She smiled at me in the mirror as she put the towel down and picked up a brush. “Well,” she said, “it’ll be your birthday in only one hour.” I smiled in excitement. “Your papa has spoiled you tonight allowing you to stay up this late.”
Mrs. Jenkins blow-dried my hair and smoothed it down my back with my brush. She fixed my black headband in place, the ends of my hair curling slightly against my shoulders. “Now, I take it you want to wear a blue dress again?” She shook her head. “At least we have a new one. A special one for your birthday. One for older girls.”