Lincoln stepped up next to her and nodded.
I slowly let out a breath and looked at Lincoln. “I will tell him, just not yet. I need to process this all first and figure out what I’m going to do.”
“What do you mean, what you’re going to do?” Lincoln asked.
A small laugh slipped free. “Well, being a single mother wasn’t exactly part of my plan.”
“Single mother?” she asked, even more confused than before.
I stared at her in disbelief as I felt most tears slip free. “Lincoln, surely you don’t think Dirk is going to find out and then want to get married and play house. Especially with me.”
Lincoln covered her mouth with her hand and closed her eyes. “What he said to Kaylee. Oh, sweetie, that had to hurt, but you know he doesn’t know. He would never have said that if he knew you were carrying his child.”
“I agree with Lincoln,” Timberlynn said. “I know that hurt, but he doesn’t know, Merit.”
I closed my eyes in an effort to keep my crazy emotions at bay. I drew in a deep breath and looked at the two of them. “I know. But even if he did know, I don’t think he would utter those same words to me anyway.”
Both women gasped. “Why would you say that?” Lincoln asked.
I shrugged. “Well, considering he hasn’t said a single word to me since his father died, or hardly even looked at me, I’m pretty sure his feelings for me are nonexistent. The moment he finds out about the baby, he’ll feel pressured to be there for me. I don’t want that. I don’t want him to feel obligated about anything. And I know his father passing away has been hard on him. He’s going to think I did it on purpose and I…I honestly can’t deal with that.”
“Nonexistent?” Lincoln practically shouted. “Anyone who’s in the same room as the two of you sees the way that man looks at you.”
Timberlynn smiled softly. “It’s true; he gives you such a loving look.”
I dropped Timberlynn’s hands and took a few steps back. “You’re wrong. Dirk has never, nor will he ever, have those types of feelings for me. Besides, I’m pretty sure his tastes swing to the side of blondes.”
They both stared at me. I knew I was acting like a damn child, a hormonal, petulant child, and I needed to close my mouth. I closed my eyes instead and exhaled. “I’m sorry, I’m behaving badly.”
“What did you mean, he’ll think you did it on purpose?”
Keeping my eyes closed, I slowly nodded. I was so tired. The last thing I wanted to do was explain. “Lincoln, I’ll fill you in later. I don’t think right now is a good time.”
I snapped my eyes back open to look at the two women who had quickly become such amazing friends. “If you don’t mind, I would really like to be alone for a bit.”
Timberlynn nodded and Lincoln said, “Of course. Merit, please, if you need anything or want to talk to anyone, we’re here for you.”
I smiled. “Thank you, Lincoln. I’m fine, honestly.”
They both exchanged a worried look before turning and heading back to the house.
“Lincoln? Please don’t tell anyone. Not Brock, and especially not Kaylee. She’s so close with Dirk that I’m worried she might tell him, thinking she’s helping the situation in some way.”
A look passed over her face that I couldn’t read, but then it softened and she nodded. “She would never betray your trust, but I won’t tell her.”
I felt the breath I had been holding in rush out. “Thank you.”
Spinning on my heels, I headed off to the barn and didn’t return to the house until two hours later. I walked into the back entrance and made my way through the house. There were still a large number of people there, but I knew there was one place I could go where no one would be. Ty Senior’s office.
I opened the door and closed it behind me before I leaned back against it. I really needed to leave and go home. For the last few hours, I’d tried to get the image of Dirk touching Kaylee’s stomach, kissing her cheek, and looking at her like he adored her out of my head. When he looked at me, all I saw was a blank expression. Nothing but a void. I was such a stupid fool to have even still hoped he would still care for me. A fool, like always.
Pushing off the door, I wiped away the damn tears I thought I were under control.
“Looks like you could use a drink.”
I jumped and let out a small scream before bringing my hand up to cover my mouth. Sitting in the chair next to the window was Dirk. He held a nearly empty bottle of whiskey in his hand and motioned for me to sit across from him.