“Well, consider us even,” I say, unwrapping the burger and wiping the tear that runs down my cheek with the back of my hand. I take a bite of the burger and we don’t talk for the rest of the meal. Neither of us says anything.
“Will you call me if you need anything?” Manning asks after we’ve cleaned up the food, and I’m walking him to the door.
“I will,” I say, and he just looks at me. “Okay, fine, I really will.” I laugh. “If at any time, I need something or anything, I will call you.”
“I know you’re lying,” he says and takes me in his arms to give me a hug. “But I’m going to pretend you aren’t.”
I watch him walk out of the apartment and close the door after he steps into the elevator. I close the door, and the sound of my phone fills the room. I walk over to it and pick it up, seeing Nico’s name.
I look at it for longer than I should. My finger hovers over the green button, but I press the decline button. “Not today,” I tell the phone, my stomach lurching.
My phone bings with a text, and I see it’s from him. It doesn’t stop with just one either. It is one after another.
Nico: I just need to see you for five minutes.
Nico: Becca. Please.
Nico: I just need to see that you are okay.
I turn the phone off. After powering it down, I get up and walk to the bathroom. I turn on the water for the bath, turning back around and going to get my phone. Turning it back on, I pretend I’m doing it for work. I pretend I’m doing it because it’s the only lifeline I have to him. I pretend until the tears come. I pretend until I finally sob out with the need of wanting him.
Chapter 30
Nico
“Where the fuck is my lawyer?” I look over at Lizzie, who looks up from her phone. “It’s been two fucking days.”
“He was on vacation. He’ll be here in thirty minutes. I asked him to come after everyone left, just in case someone is listening,” she says, setting her phone down. I get up to look out my office window. The sun is slowly setting, it’s the part of the day I start to hate. The days are bearable, just barely, but the nights. The nighttime is my enemy. The memories are the worst. It’s almost like my penance for everything I’ve done. I walk around my room, trying to forget, except the memories come back full force. The minutes feel like hours. The hours feel like days. The days feel like years.
“I pay him enough to be here when I need him,” I say, putting my hands in my pockets. “When are we leaving?”
“Tomorrow afternoon,” she says. “But we get back tomorrow night.” My eyes focus on the car lights starting to fill up the streets. The Christmas streetlights are starting to light up. “Then there are four more days, and then you are gone for the whole week right before we break for Christmas.” I close my eyes at the mention of Christmas, making my heart pound. “I’m assuming you aren’t going to any of the parties we got invitations for.” I just look over my shoulder, and she holds up her hands. “Don’t shoot the messenger. Is she back?” she asks quietly, and I nod.
“She got back home yesterday,” I say. “Manning told me.” I don’t tell her that he came to see me, and it wasn’t pleasant. I also don’t tell her that when he left, I punched a hole in my wall. I don’t tell her that when he left, I called Becca twenty-five times, and she never answered once. I don’t tell her that I took a bottle of scotch to bed with me.
“Has she …?” I shake my head, the lump forming in my throat. I’m almost tempted to camp out in her lobby and wait for her.
“Not even a text,” I say and then I hear heels clicking and turn to look at the door. I know it isn’t her, but my heart somehow hopes it is. Even if she yells at me and kicks me in the balls, I will give anything to see her again. Even if it’s just for two minutes. Just enough time to tell her everything that I feel.
“Well, well, well,” Laurene says, walking into the office. She is dressed in a pantsuit with heels. She smiles at Lizzie and goes to sit next to her. “Is someone going to tell me why I’ve been summoned here?”
I don’t get a chance to tell her because there is a knock on the door, and I turn to see my lawyer standing there. I look at him with a scowl. “About fucking time you showed up, George.”