I sigh, the sound almost a whimper as he rocks me against his hardening cock. “The price will be high regardless. That’s to be expected.”
“All the same.”
I should just let him sweep me away with sex like he has every other time my stress winds me too tightly. I frown. “You were never this good at reading me before.”
Just like that, his expression shuts down. “You’re easy enough to read, Mina.”
His lack of tell is a tell all its own. I put my hands on his shoulders and stare down at him. “Malachi, you missed blatant queues when I first moved in with you. Not all of that was intentional, so don’t lie to me and tell me it was.” When he still doesn’t say anything, I press. “I thought the only side effect of the bond was being able to feel proximity. And now apparently my being able to command you.”
“The magic you used on me last night might not be linked to the bond. Your father’s glamour isn’t just changing people’s visual perceptions. He can command them, too.”
I know that, have experienced it, but somehow the fact I might be using a vampire power never really occurred to me. Still… I shake my head, trying to focus. “Stop trying to distract me. We’re talking about the bond.”
He finally says, “Feeling proximity to each other is a side effect of the bond, yes.”
Careful. So fucking careful. Which means he’s hiding something and not even doing it well. “Enough of this.” I start to rise, but he clamps his hands on my hips, holding me in place. I glare. “I’m going to go ask Wolf if he can feel my emotions. He won’t lie to me.” If only because he’ll enjoy the chaos the confirmation will bring about.
“Mina.”
“Malachi.” I match his censoring tone. “I am not a child, and if you hide things from me, I’m going to resent it. Tell me the truth.”
His sigh is nearly imperceptible. “Yes, I can…sense things.”
“Things being my emotions.” The sheer intrusion of it has my chest getting tight. This bond is bad enough. Knowing where they are at all times is horrible. I never thought to ask if it goes both way, but of course it does. They know where I am without fail. It’s how they recognize exactly how far the bond stretches before things get painful.
“Things being your emotions,” he confirms. “Not all of them. I get spikes of pleasure or anger or fear. It only seems to be the extreme versions of them.”
“I can’t feel yours,” I say numbly.
He lifts one hand to cup my face, moving carefully as if he expects me to flinch away. “All of us learned to shield a long time ago. It’s a necessary skill.”
Somehow, this just makes me feel worse. “A necessary skill for vampires and dhampirs with power.”
“You have power now.” He strokes my cheekbone with his thumb. “I’ll teach you, little dhampir.”
I want that, but I’m not quite prepared to let go of my complicated feelings about him hiding this. It’s enough to make me wonder what else he’s keeping from me, supposedly for my own good. “Why didn’t you say something as soon as you understood what was happening?” Realization rolls over me. “That’s how you knew things had gotten out of control with Rylan last night.” It hadn’t even occurred to me to question it before now. Vampire senses are incredibly strong, so it’s likely they knew we were having sex even without the bond, but now that I think about it, I don’t believe either Wolf or Malachi would have come into the room without an invitation. Not when Rylan and I are balanced so carefully at odds right now.
They felt my flash of fear when he bit me and it brought them running.
“Yes.” He shifts his hand to cup my neck. “I didn’t tell you before because I knew you wouldn’t like this new development, and you’re already under enough pressure.”
Once again the urge rises to simply…let him handle this. I’m outmatched and outgunned and I don’t know anything about magic. It would be so easy to let Malachi take charge. I can’t do it. I close my eyes. “Don’t keep things from me again. I realize that I’m hardly an asset right now, but the choices you make affect me, too. I can’t make the right calls if I don’t know all the info.”
I can’t make the right calls. How laughable. I haven’t made a single fucking call.
“There’s nothing else.”
I wish I believed him.
Not for the first time, I wish we were just two people who’d met under normal circumstances. I don’t even know how that would work. I can’t imagine running into Malachi in a coffee shop or on a street or in the thousands of other places meet-cutes happen in fiction. Going on a normal human date? It defies comprehension. What a mess. I slump down against his chest, and he tenses a little like I’ve surprised him. I close my eyes. “I hate this.”