I enjoyed last night.
That’s the first line and I don’t get much farther. “It wasn’t last night,” I comment, letting my head fall to the side and seeing for the very first time in years, a vulnerable Cody Walsh.
With the lights from the parking garage illuminating his face, he looks younger than I’ve seen him before and my breath slips out easier as I remember his hard body over mine, his muscles flexing as he took me, pressing my back against the sofa and rocking himself into me ever so slowly but deeply to bring me closer to my own release before he found his.
“I didn’t start writing it today,” he admits, scratching the back of his neck. His five o’clock shadow combined with that boyish smirk makes me warm to him.
Dropping his phone back in his hand, I don’t read the rest of the message.
“I enjoyed it. I like you. I just don’t know how to not fuck it up.”
“Going caveman isn’t something I’m interested in,” I offer him.
“You want this to be discreet?” he asks and I simply nod.
“Read the rest,” he presses, pushing the phone toward me but I reject it. Only the phone; I don’t reject him. My heels click on the pavement as I close the space between us and tell him, “I sent it to myself so I’ll read it when I get home.” With a nod and a simper, I add, “Maybe I’ll text you back before the week is up.” It’s only a lighthearted joke and it does exactly what I want it to. Cody relaxes his arms around me, letting his hands fall to the small of my back. I’m tall in my heels, but he’s still an inch or two taller than me so he has to lower his head to whisper against my lips, “Don’t be mad at me.” His plea isn’t lost, but neither is my frustration.
“Don’t ignore me … and don’t kiss me in public,” I say and the statement isn’t spoken harshly. Maybe there’s even a small plea hidden in the gentleness with which I spoke it.
As I close my eyes, I know I shouldn’t be doing this. I should end it between us. My life is complicated enough. It felt so good though and I’ve wanted him for far too long to throw it away. Even when all the warning signs are flashing bright red lights in front of my face.
He pulls back just slightly, his inhale making his chest rise and I find my fingers itching to slip up his jacket and lay right there against his white t-shirt that’s taut against his skin.
“Is this public?” he questions, his voice laced with desire and his pale blue eyes simmering when I lift mine to his.
As I part my lips to answer him, he captures them in his, stealing my response and my breath just the same.
Tilting my head and rising up just slightly on my heels, I meet his need with my own. His hands play against my back, keeping me to him and my own reach around his neck, loving the skin-on-skin contact and wanting more of it. Needing more of it.
As his tongue melds with mine, the heat of our embrace enveloping around the two of us, I wish I could get lost in his touch tonight.
But I can’t. My eyes open before his and I pull away, breathlessly and with a heat rolling through my body. Cody stays perfectly still a second longer than me and takes his time opening them. His steely blues stare me down with the look of a hunter. A look that makes me feel so very much as though I’m his prey.
“Not tonight, Agent Walsh,” I tell him with my heels steady on the ground and he grins at me before stepping forward and planting the smallest of kisses on my jaw, his strong fingers brushing against my neck and hardening my nipples with the simple touch.
He catches that my eyes close when he kisses me. I know he does from the look of triumph on his handsome face.
“Drive safe, Delilah.”
It’s not until I get home that I read his text.
I enjoyed last night. I enjoyed you.
I don’t do flings and I don’t do girlfriends.
I don’t fuck around with coworkers or people I see day to day.
You know I don’t have time for a relationship. I’ve failed at every one of them I’ve ever had. I’m going to fuck this up. If this is even a thing. If this is something that you want to do again.
That doesn’t change that I want you. I’ve wanted you for a long damn time and even after last night, I want you still. I can’t offer you commitment and I’m not good at much of anything other than my job.