What the fuck? How do I fix this? How do I fix us?
As soon as those relentless questions plagued my mind again, the last conversation I had with Cain a couple of days ago played out too.
“Don’t worry, bro. I know you miss her. You’ve spent the last month like a lost fucking puppy with your dick tucked between your legs. You didn’t bang the broad from the bar last week when we met up for late drinks. Did something happen between you and Mila before she left?”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah? What do you mean ‘yeah?’”
“We slept together.”
He didn’t catch on. “You sleep together all the time, you’re like two fucking school girls at a slumber party.”
I chuckled, he was right. “We made love, Cain.”
His eyes widened. “You made love? I’ve never heard you say that before. Holy shit, did you grow a pussy too?”
“Jesus, I’m a fucking chump. I can’t believe I just said that.”
“No shit, me either.”
Throwing back my drink, I shook my head at myself.
“So… is there more to that story, Leo?”
“I haven’t talked to her since she left.”
“Damn, that was almost a month ago. I just spoke with her yesterday.”
“Thanks for throwing fucking salt on my open wounds, jackass.”
“Listen, she’s happy,” he reasoned, taking a swig of his drink. “She told me she’s having the time of her life. So, while you’re here sulking like you’re Charlie fucking Brown, she’s off living her best life like you should be too. You slept together. It was bound to happen. I’m surprised it took this long.”
“There’s more to it than that.”
“If you’re referring to the Playboy Pact I’m going to—”
“I think I made it because of her.”
Cain’s gaze didn’t change, he wasn’t shocked by what I just shared.
“Have nothing to say?”
“If you’ve had that realization, I think I’m more stunned that you haven’t gone after her yet.”
“You think I should?”
“We all love Mila, Leo. She’s hard not to love.”
I zeroed in on him and he gripped onto my shoulder.
“But don’t worry, dude. I’ll take care of our girl.”
My phone ringing brought me back to the present.
“This is Leo.”
I spent the rest of the day fixing the problem with the subs and finally, by ten at night I was able to ensure someone would be over there first thing in the morning. Despite wanting to talk to Mila from the comfort of my home, I was still in my office when I opened my computer and logged onto fucking Facebook of all places to talk to her.
I waited.
And waited.
And fucking waited.
By the time eleven rolled around and she still hadn’t logged on I decided on a different approach. I called her from my office line instead of my cellphone. She didn’t have that number.
She answered after two rings. “Hello.”
There was no reeling in the sharp tone in my voice, I snapped, “So you’re standing me up now?”
“Leo?”
“Are you expecting another man from Tennessee to be calling you this late? Cain is already there with you.”
Silence.
“You’ve been taking his calls. How about you tell me why you’re not taking mine?”
More silence.
“Is this how it’s going to be, Mila? You’re playing games with me now?”
“I’m not.”
“Then why are you blowing me off?”
“I’m just busy with work and school.”
“But not too busy to talk to Cain?”
More silence.
I sighed, applying pressure to the bridge of my nose. “Lala, I miss you.”
Nothing.
“I miss my best friend.”
Not. One. Damn. Word.
“Hello… did you hear me say I miss my best friend?”
Again, nothing.
“Mila, just fucking talk to me. How’s your life? How’s school? How’s work? You settled in yet? You like your job? Tell me something, anything. Please.”
“My life is good. I’m doing good. School is hard, but I’m adjusting. Work is good too. I’m making a lot of money. I haven’t settled in completely, there’s still a few things in boxes, but I love my job, and I’m always busy.”
“See? Was that so hard?”
“How are you?”
“Better now that I’m finally talking to you and not your voicemail.”
“I told you, I’m just busy.”
“You’ve always made time for me, Lala. What’s going on?”
“I don’t know what you want me to say, Leo. We don’t live ten minutes away from each other anymore. We’re in the real world now, I can’t cater to you and be at your beck and call like I used to.”
“I’m not expecting you to, but fuck, Mila… we’ve never gone this long without speaking before. You can’t understand my frustration? The last time I saw you, you were leaving and wanting me to tell you to stay—”
“I was wrong.”
Talk about a knee to my fucking balls.
“I shouldn’t have asked you to do that.” She sighed. “I’m actually glad you let me go. I’ve never been happier. I’m in a good place, Leo. I promise. You don’t have to feel bad about us having sex and needing to check up on me,” she scoffed out. “Okay?”