Bucking Bear (Pounding Hearts 3) - Page 49
Carson shakes his head. “You didn’t want me around.”
“How can you say that?”
“That first night, after she was born, when I tried to change her diaper and I put it back on wrong you bit my head off.”
“I was a hormonal mess! I’d just given birth.”
Carson nods his head slowly. “And the next day I couldn’t hold her correctly so you didn’t want me to hold her at all.”
“You weren’t supporting her neck,” I mutter and take another sip of my bitter wine.
“You made me feel like a fool,” he grumbles.
Yeah, I’m not perfect and I probably had my moments when I wasn’t nice to him after she was born, but I didn’t drive him away. There were days where I felt like a fool for begging him to be there. I was desperate for his help, I was desperate for my daughter to know her father.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel like a fool but that doesn’t give you the excuse or the right to leave me to do it all on my own.”
“I know,” he says sincerely, and my eyes swing to his face in surprise.
“You know?”
He nods and sets his glass down on the table. “I told you I have a lot to apologize for, Grace. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, and I’m very sorry.”
“You are?” I repeat, dumbfounded.
Reaching across the table, he takes my hand in his. My eyes drop, staring stupidly at it before I try to pull it back.
His grip tightens, trapping me. “I wasn’t there for you, and I wasn’t there for Hope. I’ve failed us all.”
On one hand, his words are like music to my ears, I don’t know how long I’ve hoped and dreamed for him to come around. On the other hand, he’s touching me and it’s making my skin crawl.
“I can’t change the past, but if you let me, I’d like to be a bigger part of her future.”
I stare hard into his baby blue eyes and I just can’t tell if he’s being honest or not. I’m afraid I’ve wanted this for so long that I’m seeing simply what I want to see. But shouldn’t I at least give him the benefit of the doubt?
Taking a deep breath, I yank hard on my hand, finally freeing it from his grasp before I tell him, “I would like that.”
Carson flashes that dazzling smile at me but thankfully I’m still immune to its effect. “Can we start over?”
My gut instinct is telling me not to agree right away. “Meaning what?”
Carson’s smile fades away and he finishes off his wine before saying. “I’d like to give us another shot.”
“What?!” I almost choke on my own wine, and cough and sputter into my napkin.
He waits until I have myself under control before clarifying. “I’d like to see if we can make this work, you and I, and Hope.”
“Why?” I ask suspiciously. I know Max warned me that this was Carson’s true intention but still I don’t understand it.
Carson reaches across the table and holds out his hand to me as if he expects me to willingly place my hand in his. “So we can be a family.”
After all this time, after all those tears, it’s not going to happen. I drop my hands to my lap. “I’m already seeing somebody.”
His lip curls with disgust. “That MMA thug?”
“He’s not a thug,” I say defensively. Max is such a better man than him.
“How long have you been seeing him?” He leans back in his chair and crosses his arms over his chest.
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