Jackson started to protest but changed his mind and waited, just like Jonas, for the detectives to come to work the officer-involved shooting. They had asked for help and none was available, but they had filed step-by-step reports of their findings and what their fears were prior to their operation. They had contacted the department for additional manpower, but the deputies were scattered across the county, and they had relied on the law enforcement that was close to them, which was something they often had to do in an extremely rural area. Now both men had to wait for the detectives. Fortunately, there were plenty of witnesses.
EIGHTEEN
Player watched Zyah wander around the master bedroom, barefoot like he was, in a sheer shirt that dropped to her knees. He found it sexy as hell. The shirt could have been a man’s dress shirt but was transparent, showing off her luscious curves. She had them in abundance. Her tits moved with every graceful step and sway of her hips. Her ass was so perfect he wanted to take a bite out of it. Instead, he sat, sprawled in one of the chairs in front of the long row of flickering flames, eyes half-closed, just watching her. He could watch her forever.
She’d been wandering around the house without talking for some time. He didn’t push her. He knew she was working things out in her head and she needed space. He gave her that. He didn’t want to, fearing she might try to distance herself from him, but pushing her wasn’t the answer either. He’d done what he could to show her she mattered to him. It wasn’t always going to be easy. He knew that. There were things about his club she was going to have to accept that would never be easy for her. He hadn’t talked about those things yet either. But he figured, one thing at a time. He’d been the idiot keeping his distance from her when she’d given herself to him over and over. They were connected, and he knew she was willing to be with him, stay with him, but there was a little part of her that was holding back. That was on him.
Zyah turned suddenly, her dark eyes moving over him, taking in his bare chest and thin drawstring pants. Immediately, she walked straight over to him, waiting for him to widen his legs so she could kneel between his thighs and look up at him.
“I don’t want you to want me because I can fix your mind when it’s shattered, Player. Or because we have explosive chemistry. That’s what I’m most afraid of. That the person I am will get lost in the things you need. I love the sex as much as you do. Maybe even more.”
That wasn’t possible, but he wasn’t going to argue the point.
“But sex can sometimes disappear during times of sickness or pregnancy. Or children making you too tired. I don’t know. Whatever. You can’t make that an entire relationship. There has to be more. A foundation. And I don’t want it to be because I’m some kind of nurse, repairing damage to your mind when your illusions get out of hand. I want to be wanted for myself. I deserve that. I want to be seen for me.”
He leaned toward her, looking down into her beloved face. Just looking into it made his heart clench in his chest. He framed her face with his hands, feeling how soft her skin was, running his thumbs over her high cheekbones and then along her jaw.
“Baby, do you honestly think I could know you and not love you for you? See you for you? How could I not? I’m in your mind. I see how you are with your grandmother. I see how you are with Alena. You’re tired and you don’t want that second job, but you’re worried about her. You don’t like to see her struggling.”
He brushed his thumb over her lower lip, that lip that he loved so much. “Even Francine, for all her viciousness, her jealousy, the things she did to you, your grandmother and the others in Sea Haven, there is a part of you that felt sorry for her and wished you could have found a way to help her. You have such compassion in you. It’s impossible not to love you for you. How can you be with me and not know that? Not feel that? Not be totally confident in that? Is it because I was so humiliated for you to know the things that happened to me when I was growing up? Because it wasn’t just when I was a child. That shit continued through my teen years, Zyah. That’s difficult for a man to have to admit to his woman. Did I hurt you so much that you’re finding it hard to forgive me?”