“Jake has it.” Char pointed to Jake and gave him a sweet smile.
A muscle twitched in his jaw as he leaned on the table and took a few deep breaths. “Right, it’s… safe.”
“Safe.” Grandma snorted. “Fine, just be sure to finish the last few tasks.”
“Why can’t you do it?” Jake asked. “You’re retired; can’t you just… run around in one of my cars and get the errands done?”
Grandma paused, taking great care in her breathing. Then she turned her head ever so slightly in Jake’s direction. A frozen smile appeared on her face before she carefully picked up the list and stuffed it in her purse. “If you weren’t such an ass you would know. I have bridge with the girls.”
“Every day?” Jake asked.
“Every day. At least…” Grandma chuckled, seeming to remember her good humor. “In the mornings.”
“Great. So you can finish the tasks in the evenings.”
“Oh, Jake.” She patted his arm. “You innocent little thing.”
It was Char’s turn to choke on her drink.
“The evening is for different… activities.”
“Good Lord, at least try to hide the fact that you’re out… doing things.”
“What things?” Beth asked suddenly, leaning across the table.
“Don’t worry about it.” Jake glared at Beth and shook his head.
Grandma tittered. “You know, things.” She took great care pronouncing “things”, as if there was some very important underlying meaning to the word, and then began to chuckle to herself all over again. “I do love the evenings, yes I do.” Her eyes took on a glassy appearance.
“We’re going to need more alcohol,” Char whispered under her breath to Jake.
“And a roofie,” Jake added. “I don’t want to remember this conversation. Ever.”
“Tomorrow.” Grandma pushed away from the table and stood. “Jake, take me home. I’m tired. But tomorrow you will meet Char, say… for lunch, at the house? And finish up the rest of the list before we board the plane Thursday.”
“Thursday?” Both Jake and Char yelled.
Grandma squinted. “But of course! You have to be early for the wedding by a week at least! Whatever is wrong with young people these days!” She pulled a fifty from her purse and slammed it onto the table. “You have fun, girls. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
“Great, Grandma.” Jake swore. “May as well just give them permission to get arrested.”
“That was one time!” Grandma argued.
“You were in a Mexican prison. We’re lucky you’re alive.”
“Oh, Pablo, he was something.” Grandma tugged at her necklace and began caressing the pearls.
Beth’s mouth dropped open.
Char had to kick her under the table again to get her to close it.
“Well, ta ta!” Grandma waved and then pulled Jake by the shirt until they were out the door.
The table fell silent.
Tequila shots were everywhere.
Beth looked at Char.