"Well if you must. I don't want to have to give you too much paperwork, Gus. I really don't want to be a bother."
Jace
"Um, Beth." I swam to the edge of the pool and tried to think of a way to tell her that wouldn't sound crazy.
"What?"
I'd been swimming around for a good five minutes while Beth went in search of towels, but now that she was back, I had to tell her. Damn it. Damn Grandma!
I shook my fist at the sky.
"You okay, Jace?"
"No." Embarrassed, I closed my eyes. "I think there was something in my tea."
"What do you mean?"
"I think I was drugged."
Beth's eyes widened. She took a step toward the edge of the pool and leaned down so she was on her hands and knees, talking to me. And let's be honest. I the state I was in, it was doing more harm than she even realized.
"What type of drug? Do you feel funny?"
"I wouldn't say I felt funny…" I looked down. "Just… inappropriate."
"Huh?"
"Viagra. She put Viagra in my tea."
Beth burst out laughing, "Jace, I highly doubt she would do that. You're a young healthy virile—" Her eyes widened. "Oh, Lord."
"What. Do. I. Do?" I grasped the edge of the pool like it was my lifeline.
Beth's grin grew. "Clearly you have a little problem."
"Can we call it a big problem?" I hissed. "You know, for my self-esteem and all? Can we not refer to it as little or small or miniscule or—"
"I got it." Beth held up her hand. "We have a tiny problem."
"Damn, should have seen that one coming."
"Just…" Beth waved, "make it go away."
"Just make it go away?" I repeated. "Make IT go away? How do you imagine I go about that, Beth? In a public place? In a public pool? Under the watchful eyes of God? Hmm?"
"Whoa. Easy, sinner. I don't mean for you to fornicate with the pool toys or anything. I'm just... thinking."
"Can we come up with a better idea? One that leaves pool toys out of this whole conversation?"
"Don't be so touchy," Beth snapped. "We'll just wait it out."
"Right." I nodded. "Great. So I'll just stay in the pool for four hours in hopes that the situation alleviates, and if it doesn't, what then? Call 911?"
"Well they do say that if an erect—"
I covered her mouth. "There's an easy way to fix this." Without thinking about the ramifications of my actions, I pulled her into the pool, clothes and all.
When Beth came up for air, she screamed. "I'm not really a prostitute, Jace!"