"Jace."
Well, shit.
"Your approval ratings are low, it's true. I've been monitoring the news briefings. As of right now, everyone believes you've gone on vacation with your new family, but someone went to the reporters and said you were bluffing to cover your own ass. And when Kerry was interviewed again, she spouted more nonsense about how you weren't a family man and often paid prostitutes."
Jake's eyes narrowed.
"Ya, cast that stone, bastard. See if it hits you or me in the ass first," I sneered.
He shook his head and crossed his arms.
"So why are we here?" Travis asked. "Seems to me that Jace needs to get back to Portland and fix this. And you need to help him."
"Well," Grandma wrung her hands together, "I may have let it slip that he was here with his fiancée and her family."
"Of course you did." I clenched my teeth, not liking where it was going.
"So that explains why you called us, and why Jake and Char panicked when Rick wouldn't stop calling them, but…"
"Oh bother." Grandma wiped another few stray tears. "I'll just come out and say it."
"Please do." Okay, my teeth were going to grind clean off.
"I told them it was a destination wedding, and that your honeymoons were cover-ups to keep the media away."
I swayed on my feet. Not a proud moment.
Grandma continued talking. "I finally reached Rick, and he said it was a good cover, but that if we could somehow leak pictures to the media of us together, it would help."
"Hmm." Travis's eyes lit up with approval. "That's actually quite brilliant."
"You think so?" Grandma beamed.
I smacked his arm. Friends don't give Grandma compliments, or access to Benadryl, or any sort of encouragement, for shit's sake.
"What?" He shrugged. "It's not like you guys actually have to get married or anything. I mean, come on, Jace, it's not like you'll ever get married again after what happened with—"
Grandma smacked him on the back of the head. He gave me a guilty shrug, while Jake looked nervously between me and Beth.
She'd been eerily quiet the entire time, driving me insane with the desire to jump into her head and find out what she was thinking. Instead, she stood there like a frozen statue, while everyone else planned the next few days.
"You'll still attend therapy." This from Grandma.
"Screw therapy," Jake argued.
"Jake, you are an ass," Grandma retorted. "Which is why you still need to follow the rules. I know how hard it is for you to color in the lines, but for my benefit, you'll go to therapy. Poor Char, having to deal with all those anger issues."
"I'm NOT ANGRY!" Jake shouted.
"Stop raising your voice," Grandma said calmly. "I'm not deaf, and you will listen to me, or I'll fire you again."
He stopped talking.
"Well," Travis rubbed his hands together, "I guess that only leaves us one thing to do."
"What?" Beth asked, her voice small.
"Happy hour." He nodded. "I learned a long time ago not to argue. Things go much easier with tequila shots, wouldn't you agree, Jake?"