“What?”
He points at my nose. “Sullivan said she got you good.”
“She did.”
“It’s not even swollen. And no black eyes.”
I look away. “Thank Vosch.”
“Kind of hoping you’ll thank him for all of us.”
I nod. Then I shake my head. Then I nod again.
Zombie knows he’s on dangerous ground. He moves to safer territory quickly. “And it doesn’t hurt? There’s no pain?”
I look right into his eyes. “No, Zombie. There’s no pain.”
I squat, resting on my heels, and set the lamp on the floor. The space between us, less than a foot, feels more like a mile.
“Did you notice on our way in?” I ask. “Somebody built an outdoor shower. I think I’m going to take one before I leave.” Blood’s caked on my face, there’s dirt in my hair, and damp earth is smeared over every exposed inch. An eternity passed after Zombie buried me. I can still see their faces blank with astonishment and horror as I burst from the grave, the two recruits sent back to pick up the squadmates they left behind to kill us. Sullivan had a similar look after she smashed her head into my nose. I’ve become the stuff of wonder and nightmares.
So I want to be clean. I want to feel human again.
“Won’t matter if the water’s cold?” Zombie asks.
“I won’t feel it.”
He nods like he understands. “It should be me. Not in the shower. Ha, ha. I mean going with you. Not Cassie. I’m sorry, Ringer.” He pretends to study the cave’s jagged teeth jutting down over our heads, a dragon’s mouth frozen in midchomp. “What was he like? I mean. That guy. You know.”
I know. “Tough. Funny. Smart. He loved to talk. And he loved baseball.”
“What about you?” Zombie asks.
“I have no opinion about baseball.”
“Not what I meant and you know it.”
“It doesn’t matter,” I answer. “He’s dead.”
“Still matters.”
“It’s something you’d have to ask him.”
“I can’t. He’s dead. So I’m asking you.”
“What do you want from me, Zombie? Seriously, what do you want? He was kind to me—”
“He lied to you.”
“Not when it mattered. Not about the important things.”
“He betrayed you to Vosch.”
“He sacrificed his life for me.”
“He murdered Teacup.”
“That’s it, Zombie. No more.” I rise. “I shouldn’t have told you.”