Samuel came back in. He locked the door. He looked at Ashley for a long, uncomfortable moment. She looked right back at him, her chin raised in defiance.
“I wasn’t followed,” she said.
He ignored her. “Alfred, I’ve been thinking, and perhaps your instinct was correct. Our hope lies in Director Smith. She still might be able to persuade the board to abandon SOFIA and reinstitute the
Phoenix Protocol.”
Ashley agreed. “It might be possible for our engineers to find a way to disable the SD 1031 without killing you.”
“So we make for headquarters in the morning and pray we stay one step ahead of our enemies,” Sam said.
I started to say no, I couldn’t go, not yet, and then it hit me if I said no I would have to say why: I had to save Mr. Needlemier from Vosch. But if I told them that, Sam would do anything it took to stop me. My thing-that-must-be-done wasn’t his thing-that-must-be-done, and if I told him my thing, he was going to do his thing, and that would mean Vosch would do his thing, and that was torturing Mr. Needlemier like he did Sam, maybe even killing him and his family, all because he had the misfortune of knowing Alfred Kropp. I wasn’t going to let that happen.
00:20:56:31
Sam tried reaching Abby Smith twice before we turned in for the night. He had the top-secret number for the cell phone she kept with her at all times, but even that call wouldn’t go through.
“She’s dead,” I told him. “Or been fired. Or captured by Nueve. We’re walking right into a trap.”
“Simply because something is possible does not make it probable, Alfred,” he said.
“Oh. Thanks, Sensei, I feel better now.”
Ashley took the first watch. She pulled a chair in front of the door and sat there with the gun in her lap. I waited until Samuel was asleep, then eased out of bed and sat in the empty chair across from her.
“Why did you come back?” I asked.
“Because I’m an idiot,” she said.
“You’re not an idiot,” I said. “Which is why I asked in the first place.”
“I’m in love with someone I shouldn’t be in love with,” she said. “It’s wrong and I know it’s wrong and still I can’t help myself.”
I was shocked. It wasn’t the answer I was expecting. Ashley began to cry. She slumped in the chair and I came out of mine to catch her. The gun fell to the carpet. She pushed her face into the nook between my neck and shoulder and sobbed.
“Whatever happens, Alfred, I want you to understand something.”
“Sure.”
“I meant what I said about that time machine.”
“And I meant what I said,” I said, though I couldn’t remember what exactly I said or when, exactly, I said it.
I pressed my lips into her hair.
00:19:48:05
After she calmed down and told me she was going to be okay, I dragged myself back to the bed and had another dream.
I was walking across a familiar field of tall grass and in front of me was a yew tree, and under the tree sat a beautiful woman in flowing white robes. It was the Lady in White. I hadn’t seen her since Mogart killed me with Excalibur. I was crying with joy as I ran toward her.
She turned to me and her beauty took my breath away, the absolute perfection of her.
“You never told me who you are,” I said. “Who are you?”
“You know, Alfred. You have always known.”
A radiant light shone around her face.