“What did he do to you?”
I shook my head absentmindedly, my gaze drifted to the alcove when I wasn’t able to speak.
He breathed out roughly through his nose, and if I hadn’t been holding on to him so tightly, I might have missed the way his body began vibrating. “How long was he here?”
“I don’t know,” I choked out.
“Blackbird,” he whispered soothingly, “I need to know if he hurt you. I need to know what he did to you.”
My tears came harder as I tried to tell Lucas everything that had happened. Once I’d finished, I choked out, “Why does it matter? He’s your mentor. I could hear you in his words. Your words in his voice.”
Lucas’s body stilled. His dark eyes bored into mine and his head tilted as if he was going to deny it, but he paused for a second and then sighed. “Yes, he’s my mentor, but that doesn’t allow him to be in this house without me, and it will never give him permission to be alone with you. It doesn’t give him permission to touch you. And it matters because what happened today shouldn’t have. Do you understand? I will do everything to make sure no one ever touches what’s mine again.”
I understood. I just wasn’t sure if I responded in any way because I was suddenly at war with myself, questioning my sanity.
My unexpected thought that his touch felt nice and wanted during his explanation left my mind reeling. I told myself to let go of his arms and push away from him.
My fingers betrayed me by gripping tighter.
I looked from his eyes to my hands then back again. The entire time I was internally screaming, reminding myself I was clinging to the devil and needed to get far away—but another part of me shouted that he was also my safety.
No! No, he will never be safe.
But he came for me. He protected me.
I thought of the way his voice twisted with torment when he yelled my name, of the way he looked when he ran into the room: like an avenging angel.
Fallen angel, I automatically corrected myself. Because he is darkness, and he has done worse to me than William. Stop thinking that any good can come from him.
But some disturbed part of me still wanted to fall into his arms, to let him comfort me. My body was aching with the effort it took to keep myself from him, and a harsh breath rushed from my lungs as I continued to fight.
Fight with what I knew of the devil and the angel I was making myself believe I had caught a glimpse of.
Back and forth, back and forth.
He was still cradling my face in his large hands, and I had yet to let go of him. Every now and then he would brush his thumb across my un-bruised cheekbone, and I hated how much I craved those little brushes. But I did.
It didn’t make sense. None of it made sense. I felt safer in that moment with Lucas than I had since I’d been stolen from Atlanta. The idea of feeling safety within his arms should terrify me, but the only terror that day had been in William’s presence.
Dark eyes searched mine as he said my name like a question.
The sound of my name from his lips made me tremble with unspoken words that were bursting from that traitorous part of me. Safe, safe, safe.
No!
He is darkness. He is the devil.
My eyes fell to his mouth, and mine opened when my breaths grew heavy.
And I want him.
What is wrong with me?
I looked up when I felt his arms tense and found him staring at my body. Before I could follow his line of sight, his eyes met mine behind those thick, dark lashes, desire and sin swirling there.
Gently enough not to hurt me, but forcefully enough that I couldn’t stop him, he released my face and removed my hands from his arms.
“Where are you going?” I asked without hesitation when he took two steps away from me.