Frustration nudged at me.
Why?
Why was I so frustrated? There was no reason for it. Except for the woman sitting across the car from me—the first woman I’d wanted in a long time, and she’d turned out to be so much my polar-opposite that there was no way the gap between us would ever be bridged.
I’d been there, after all.
With someone like her.
She’d given me the greatest gift and fucked me up at the very same time.
I gripped the steering wheel tightly. My knuckles whitened with my tightening grip, but it kept me focused as I pulled out into the traffic on the main road.
Ever since I’d met Perrie, my mind had slipped more and more into the past. I didn’t want to think about the past—I wanted to make a fucking difference to the here and now. To the people whose lives I could change by my choices.
The blond bombshell opposite me might have seen me as the biggest fucking asshole known to man, but she knew nothing. She said I didn’t understand her life, and she was right. But she didn’t understand mine, either.
That was something she’d never be able to get. Why people like her—why people who did what she did affected me the way they did. That was a thing she’d never understand and something I had no intention of sharing.
I pulled into my space at the station after a few minutes of stony silence. Without a word, Perrie got out of the car and slammed the door behind her. I yanked the key from the ignition and hurried out after her before she reached her own car.
“So, you don’t want to get paid tonight?” I raised my eyebrow, leaning on the back of her car.
She paused. “I’m getting paid nightly?”
“Probably not permanently, but for the first few days. Because, you know…”
“Of the way I normally get paid,” she finished. “Right.”
“Come on inside. I’ll see the chief and get your check.” I motioned to the door, touching my other hand to her back and guiding her in the direction of the station.
She allowed me to lead her in, and when we got through the door, I left her in my office. She’d returned to her silence, so I left her to it.
All our short conversation had done was reminded me of how very different we are.
The chief had finished for the day, but he’d left a slim, brown envelope on his desk with a note that it contained a check for Perrie. I guessed he figured after the second arrest we were done for the night and estimated what she was owed.
I found her sitting on the chair opposite my desk when I walked back into my office. “Here.” I held out the envelope for her. “Your check is in there.”
She took the envelope quietly. Using her pinky finger, she ripped through the seal. She peered down into it with a raise of her eyebrows before tucking it into her purse.
“What? Something wrong?”
Perrie shook her head. “Not at all. Thanks. Do you need me here tomorrow, or can I meet you wherever we need to be?”
“Let me check tomorrow. I’ll call you. Same time, though.”
“Okay. Thanks.” She smiled and stood up, sliding her purse strap up over her shoulder. “If I don’t answer, leave a message.”
She headed for the door, but I shot my hand out toward the handle and grabbed hold of it before she could. The action stopped her in her tracks, and she slowly moved her attention from the handle to meet my gaze.
“Perrie.” I said her name in a low voice, stepping closer to her so her breasts brushed my chest before she leaned back. “Tomorrow…Leave your bullshit and protestations at the door. You’re not being forced to do this—it’s your choice. You’re here to bring us results, not argue the toss because you feel guilty.”
“Don’t tell me how to feel.” Her dark eyes pierced into me, anger swirling in their chocolate-brown depths. Not even the amber-gold hints at the edge of her irises brightened her emotion-filled stare. “You can make me do this because I don’t want to go to jail, but you can’t make me feel another way about it. Or you, for the matter.”
“I could, but it would be completely inappropriate for me to do so.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“It means,” I said slowly, taking a lock of that wavy, blonde hair between my finger and thumb and twisting it, “That if I really wanted to, I could make you leave this room liking me a hell of a lot more than you did when you walked in here ten minutes ago. Don’t doubt that.”
She smacked my hand away from her and took a step back. “I’d think very carefully about what you want to say next, if I were you. I’ve dealt with enough selfish assholes in my life to give a crap about you, too.”