Unfortunately, if I kept laughing, I didn’t think an orgasm was likely.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered behind my fingers, the laughter finally subsiding. “I just—I realized it was you I was making out with and I couldn’t control it. Hell, I just rubbed myself against you like a bear rubbing against a tree.”
“That’s the strangest euphemism for dry-humping I’ve ever heard.” He blinked at me. “And, like I said, never been laughed at during a make-out session before.”
“It’s not—shit. It’s not you. I mean, it is, but it isn’t. Not your kissing. You’re very good at that. And, you know, it’s not too shabby feeling down there either.” I pointed directly at his erection before I snatched my hand back.
Why did I do that?
Jay was still looking at me with confusion, but there was a hefty amount of amusement mixing with it now, too.
Oh, God, I needed to talk myself out of this.
“You’re my best friend. And that’s a sizeable tree in your pants.”
Scratch that. I needed to stop talking.
Jay ran his tongue over his lower lip. “I am familiar with the size of my penis.”
“Good, good.”
Why did I say that?
Jesus, I was so bad with words for someone who used them for a living.
“I mean—” I hesitated. “I don’t think I know where I’m going with this if I’m honest. I think I’m just talking for the sake of it.”
“You think?”
“Yeah.” I let go of a shuddery breath. “Can you talk instead?”
His lips quirked to one side. “Nah. I’m quite enjoying you doing this. It’s an improvement on earlier.”
I groaned, pressing my face into my hands. My chin and jaw were sore from the stubble that dotted his, and my lips were swollen and tender, but no matter how awkward it was, I wanted to remember this. I wanted to remember what it felt like for him to kiss me the way he had.
Just in case he didn’t want to kiss my awkward little ass ever again.
“You done?” Amusement laced his tone.
Wait, was he laughing?
I dropped my hands. He was. He was fucking laughing at me.
“Don’t laugh at me!” I leaned forward and swatted his arm.
He rubbed his mouth. “Sorry. You’re adorable when you get all tied up like that. It was fun.”
I glared at him and folded my arms across my chest. “Shut up.”
He grinned.
“You wanted to talk to me, so talk to me. And, for the record, I understand how badly you want to have sex with me.”
“If only,” he muttered. “All right. Listen to me for once, okay?”
I nodded once.
“I spoke to Georgia today—”
“Oh, good, there’s nothing like being the subject of conversation between your best friend and a total stranger.”
“You literally just said you’d shut up.”
“You should have known better than to believe me.”
Jay leaned over and pressed one finger against my lips. “Shut up and let me talk.”
“What if I don’t?” I mumbled against his finger.
He brought his nose just inches from me. “Then I’ll kiss you until you can’t talk anymore.”
That seemed like a fair warning.
I batted his hand away. “Fine. Get on with it.”
“I spoke to her briefly about this situation. And no, I didn’t go into details, and since you don’t go to the gym, you’re not likely to meet her.”
I pursed my lips.
His eyes glinted in the light. “She made me realize that best friends or not, there’s a big conversation that we need to have. It doesn’t matter what the outcome is, but it needs to happen.”
“Way to scare a girl.”
“Shush!” Jay laughed, reaching out and tugging a lock of my hair. “For fuck’s sake, Shelby. Just shut up for a second!”
“Fine.” I rolled my eyes. “Can you get to the point, though? I’m squirrelly today.”
“Just today?”
“Shut it.”
He rubbed his hand over his face, chuckling. “All right.” He dropped his hand and met my eyes. “I’m going to be serious now. You think you can manage that for a couple minutes?”
“This is emotional, isn’t it? Jesus, no, Jay—you know this makes me speak without thinking. What are you—”
He cut me off with a swift kiss, his hand curling around the back of my neck.
Okay.
So that worked.
He pulled back, his eyes boring into mine, but he never let go of me. “No matter what I’m about to tell you, remember this: you’re my best friend. I don’t want you to be anything but honest with me, okay? You won’t hurt my feelings. You won’t change anything. Keeping you in my life as my best friend is more important than anything. You understand?”
My heart was beating double-time. He’d already bypassed my comfort level when it came to emotional discussions. He knew it as well as I did because he kept his eyes on mine as I tried to control my breathing.
“Okay,” I whispered.