A tear is lingering on my chin. Already my breasts are wet with my tears, and I have gathered my tresses around me to keep me warm. But I am never truly warm anymore; just varying degrees of cold.
In my mind, a memory of Jonathan Wimberly, the son of one of my father’s associates, has drifted to the forefront of my thoughts. He found me crouched behind a hedge during a lively game of hide and seek. Jonathan had promptly fell down beside me as I had giggled with mischievous delight. I could hear the voices of my companions and the sweet music of the insects singing after an afternoon rain. The wet grass beneath me was cold, but when Jonathan suddenly grabbed me and kissed me, I had felt so very warm. It had been my first kiss at the ripe old age of twelve. Jonathan was almost sixteen. I had been so flustered I had not been able to speak at all. He had grinned at me, then dashed away to hide somewhere else. I have never forgotten how, for a mere second, I had felt loved by a boy and had been warmed by his kiss.
Now I am cold inside. When Vlad turns his attentions on me, I have never felt anything akin to love emanating from him; just feral lust, passion and the desire to satiate his own needs. I have often wondered if it mattered if the body beneath him was mine or the vampire sisters or any other woman’s. Even now, his arms around me are for his own comfort, not mine.
I cannot help but wonder what it would be like to feel a man’s arms around me and know that he loves me. It must be wonderful to love someone and have them love you. But will I ever know that feeling - that lovely illusive feeling?
Chapter 20
The Journal of Lady Glynis Wright
9th of March, 1820
We arrived in the city of Buda, Hungary early this evening. The moon shone down on the glistening waves of the Danube as we finally reached our destination. The moon’s reflection rippled as the carriage rumbled over the pontoon bridge that joined Buda to its lesser twin city, Pesth.
It is wonderful to return to the last place where I was happy in my mortal life. It was like a wonderful dream had come into glorious reality as the carriage rattled over the cobbled streets, climbing into the hills of the city of Buda where Vlad Dracula’s estate is nestled.
Vlad has seemed to visibly relax now that we are in the city and even pointed out historical landmarks to me such as the Royal Palace. I could see the faint outlines of the beautiful building over the tops of the trees and smiled at the sight. It was such an enormous relief to once more be in a modern city.
As the carriage moved down the finest streets of Buda, I felt a thrill of anticipation sweep over me. I am in my own element again. This is a world I understand and can maneuver through. Impulsively, I reached out and grasped Vlad’s hand tightly. To my surprise, he leaned toward me to kiss my cheek.
“Tonight you are Countess Dracula. Be proud,” he said.
I gazed at him solemnly, feeling the weight of those words. There was a history behind this name that I now carried and it felt like a heavy mantle around me. I nodded then gazed down at the ring glittering on my finger.
Countess Dracula.
How odd it sounds to me, yet that is my title. We are married by blood. That much is true. But it is not a sacred union and that in its own strange way is a solace to me.
At last, the carriage turned past a huge gate that opened upon a lane guarded over by tall pines. The road curved and when the carriage swept around trees, I saw the lights of the great Hungarian mansion. It was so beautiful and such a vast difference from the wretched castle that we had traveled from, I felt tears rise spring to my eyes.
The front doors opened as the carriage approached and servants dressed in fine uniforms hurried out. A tall, awkward form followed them out of the lighted doorway and I drew in my breath sharply.
With a quick pull of the reins and a sharp bark at the horses, the driver brought the carriage to a rocking stop. There was a quick scrambling of men, one opening the door, the others pulling down the luggage, several others calming the weary horses. Vlad exited first and motioned for me to wait.
My eyes were still steadfastly resting on the man standing nervously on the steps of the house. It was Sir Stephen: the traitorous, murdering bastard. I felt my teeth sliding downward as I hungered for his blood.
“Sir Stephen, my dear friend,” Vlad called out in greeting.
Stephen rushed down the stairs. “Count Dracula, my Master, it is so very good to see you. I was worried that you had been delayed. I received word that the English gentleman is two days away from the city and I was most anxious for you to arrive. ”
I watched as Stephen’s gaze flicked nervously toward the carriage. I knew I was embraced by darkness and that he could not see me. I enjoyed his anxious glances in my direction.
“We have arrived safely and in good time,” Vlad said smoothly. “Now, my dear friend and loyal servant, I wish for you to meet my new bride, Countess Dracula. ”
Vlad extended his hand to me. I reached out of the darkness and placed my hand in his. Gently, he helped me from the carriage. I was satisfied when Sir Stephen gasped at the sight of me. I am sure I was a far cry from the beautiful deadly creature that had beckoned to him with my siren’s call. Dressed elegantly, my hair fashionably arranged beneath my feathered bonnet, I looked every bit the fine aristocratic lady I was before his betrayal. But my gaze felt dangerous even to me and he shrank beneath it.
Vlad waited for the dumbstruck solicitor to greet me, but when he failed to do anymore than gawk at me, Vlad pushed him forward gruffly. “Greet my wife, Stephen,” he said testily.
Stephen snapped out of his reverie and moved forward hastily. “Countess Dracula, it is a pleasure. ”
My eyes sly and deadly, I extended my hand to him.
Beads of perspiration popped out on his brow as he nervously took my gloved hand and leaned down to kiss it.
I let out a low, hardly audible growl.